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Craftygirl Craftygirl is offline
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I'm new at eH, so maybe someone can help me understand the lack of progress. I've got 30 profiles sitting in my communication box, all without responses to my initial quesitons. The matches don't close me, they just don't respond. Some I know must be eH memebers because they have RelyID tags. The two who did respond, one takes a week to email responses in open communication, the other takes a week to send the second set of questions. I know everyone has busy lives, but if they aren't on this site to find matches and respond...why are they here? Is this an online thing, where courtsey is nonexistant. I am very discouraged by the lack of interaction. Suggestions on how to manage the nonresponsives?? Thanks!
- August 19th, 2009, 08:21 pm
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ScottK ScottK is offline
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RelyID is not an absolute guarentee they are still members.

You MUST buy RelyID for a year at a time.

However, if your Matches only bought a 3 month subscription to EHarmony, and did not renew, then there will be a 9 month period where the RelyID would still be active while they are not members, and thus not be able to respond to you.

The proper thing for members that have stopped their Subscription, is to go into their settings and select to "Not receive any more matches", but a lot of people either forget to do that, or just simply don't know how.

Unforunately for us, EHarmony refuses to do it automagically for these members when their subscription has lapsed, thus causing us paying member angst as to wondering why no one responds.

Also, as I am sure many people will soon mention to you, EHarmony CAN and DOES match subscribers with non-subscribers.

Most of these non-subscribers are very unlikely to ever come back to EHarmony to Close you, and so inevitably you will end up with a lot of unresponsive Matches.

What a lot of us do, is to save the "Nudges" on these Matches that don't respond, nor Close, and wait for a "Free Communication Weekend".

When those weekends occur, we go in and "Nudge" every one of those Matches.

If they are going to respond at all, they are going to do it when EHarmony allows them to do it without paying.

If after that weekend they don't respond, you can feel comfortable in Closing them out, because odds are, they are gone from EHarmony forever.
Last edited by ScottK; August 20th, 2009 at 10:40 am.
- August 20th, 2009, 10:31 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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ScottK wrote :
RelyID is not an absolute guarentee they are still members.

You MUST buy RelyID for a year at a time.

However, if your Matches only bought a 3 month subscription to EHarmony, and did not renew, then there will be a 9 month period where the RelyID would still be active while they are not members, and thus not be able to respond to you.

The proper thing for members that have stopped their Subscription, is to go into their settings and select to "Not receive any more matches", but a lot of people either forget to do that, or just simply don't know how.

Unforunately for us, EHarmony refuses to do it automagically for these members when their subscription has lapsed, thus causing us paying member angst as to wondering why no one responds.

Also, as I am sure many people will soon mention to you, EHarmony CAN and DOES match subscribers with non-subscribers.

Most of these non-subscribers are very unlikely to ever come back to EHarmony to Close you, and so inevitably you will end up with a lot of unresponsive Matches.

What a lot of us do, is to save the "Nudges" on these Matches that don't respond, nor Close, and wait for a "Free Communication Weekend".

When those weekends occur, we go in and "Nudge" every one of those Matches.

If they are going to respond at all, they are going to do it when EHarmony allows them to do it without paying.

If after that weekend they don't respond, you can feel comfortable in Closing them out, because odds are, they are gone from EHarmony forever.
All correct.

I am waiting for the next FCW to clear out my matches. I have over 100 matches that are not responding.
- August 20th, 2009, 10:45 am
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travelling04 travelling04 is offline
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I hate that you get your hopes up, and than no one responds. What is up with that? You can't find anyone this way.
- August 20th, 2009, 11:54 am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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You are right in the fact that internet communication is changing views on respect, politeness and etiquette.

In a nutshell, here is how it works on the internet: They've never met you in person. Therefore, you're just a computer profile.
- August 20th, 2009, 03:26 pm
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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Craftygirl wrote :
I'm new at eH, so maybe someone can help me understand the lack of progress. I've got 30 profiles sitting in my communication box, all without responses to my initial quesitons. The matches don't close me, they just don't respond. Some I know must be eH memebers because they have RelyID tags. The two who did respond, one takes a week to email responses in open communication, the other takes a week to send the second set of questions. I know everyone has busy lives, but if they aren't on this site to find matches and respond...why are they here? Is this an online thing, where courtsey is nonexistant. I am very discouraged by the lack of interaction. Suggestions on how to manage the nonresponsives?? Thanks!
why do you think it is just men who are arn't responsive?
- August 20th, 2009, 03:40 pm
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Wiseman2 Wiseman2 is offline
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This is so true......

Also read this!...
wrote :
Teacherman25
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My closed matches just reached 1001 today. About 900 of those matches have been closed by me. Does anyone else think this number is incredibly high? Keep in mind, I believe that most of these matches are the "free-weekend window shoppers", but it just seems so high to me. I have been on EH for about 4 months now and when I started I already had about 200 closed from a previous attempt at EH. Do you think my match settings are too liberal? I tried to be as open as possible with them. It has helped me meet some really promising matches. Any opinions or advice for me?
thanks!

ps- I am receiving no less than 10 matches per day and usually no more than around 20.
- August 18th, 2009, 11:27 pm
Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
You are right in the fact that internet communication is changing views on respect, politeness and etiquette.

In a nutshell, here is how it works on the internet: They've never met you in person. Therefore, you're just a computer profile.
- August 20th, 2009, 03:46 pm
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wamcdavi wamcdavi is offline
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Men and women too often don't respond. I have over 100 women who never responded to my first questions. I agree that if they aren't interested they should at least have the decency to close the match. There seems to be some (I think incorrect) belief that by not closing somebody as a match you are sparing their feelings. I for one have never had my feelings seriously hurt by someone I know nothing more about than a short profile and a snap shot. The only have a little advice to offer to help get more responses. Include a picture in your account. Many people close automatically if there is no pic. If you have one or two I would include more and make sure some of them are recent and tag them as recent, people that are all about looks aren't going to care how you looked 5 yrs ago. Its a sad truth that a lot people go on the photo alone. I would also make your profile sound as interesting as possible. Include interests you have that a guy may share, like going to sporting events or hitting the bars. I would make sure that you are honest in what you say, and try not to judge people based on how fast they respond. I had one match that it took over a month before we reached open communication and afterwards we dated for nearly 6 months. So don't get too frustrated with slow responses. Just be patient and sooner or later you will reach open with someone, often after that a date will be forth coming.
- August 20th, 2009, 04:00 pm
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Craftygirl Craftygirl is offline
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Thanks for the help and advise, I'll wait it out and see what my matches do on the free weekend. I've updated my profile and will get some additional pics also. Sorry about the unintended slight to the men!
- August 20th, 2009, 06:21 pm
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Teacherman25 Teacherman25 is offline
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I love how my post from a completely separate wall made it into this thread. Thats pretty awesome....not that it was posted to be a compliment to me..hahaha

I would say this...Guys and girls are both equally as guilty. I must have around 75 matches right now in the "communicating" tab that have NEVER responded. Every two weeks or so I go through and clean out the really old ones...... I usually give it one month before I close (right now im a little behind...i have some from three months ago). Like I have said in so many other posts. EH is full of non paying window shoppers and a handful of legitimate people looking for lasting relationships.
- August 20th, 2009, 06:57 pm
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