1st Message In Open Comm Was Dumped In My Lap What Would You Say


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GypsyWillow is offline GypsyWillow Post #1  August 19,2009, 12:27am
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I just entered into open communication with a match and they had started the communication so the 1st open communication e-mail was to come from them. They sent me the following and I feel that they dropped the ball in my lap with regard to the 1st communication. How would you interpret this? Should he have said more?

Hi Barbara,
Well we made it to open communicaation. How have you been? Tell me more about you. Feel free to ask me anything.
Gxxxxxxxx
Last edited by GypsyWillow; August 19,2009 at 4:02pm. Reason: Removed personal info.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  August 19,2009, 3:35am
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GypsyWillow wrote :
How would you interpret this? Should he have said more?

Hi Barbara,
Well we made it to open communicaation. How have you been? Tell me more about you. Feel free to ask me anything.
George
I interpret it as he's an unimaginative dud who lacks basic communicative social skills.

Need I say more?
Last edited by tweet37; August 19,2009 at 3:38am. Reason: Because I needed to say more so I didn't look like a dud too.
 
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bclfgrd2 is offline bclfgrd2 Post #3  August 19,2009, 3:47am
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Eh, not necessarily. Yeah, the "tell me more about you" and "feel free to ask me anything" are unimaginative, but I know that a bunch of people are kind of intimidated with writing the first message in OC (heck, I know I am). I mean, what is the right thing to say? You want to say something that shows you're interested in getting to know your match more (I usually say just that, actually...ugh, lol), but at the same time, don't want to ramble on with a long-winded message that might disinterest your match. It definitely could have helped him to ask some more specific questions, though, I agree about that.

I'd say exchange a few messages more and see how he does with those, and then take it from there.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #4  August 19,2009, 4:23am
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When you're up first for OC, what do you usually write?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  August 19,2009, 4:45am
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I would respond to the how have you been and thats it. hes not very open and that would put me off. a lot.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #6  August 19,2009, 4:52am
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The first OC exchange can be very awkward. I'd keep it light, like a conversation with someone you've just met at a party or PTA meeting or conference.

Perhaps describe the area you live in, or some activities you enjoy. Is there something in your profile that you'd like to elaborate on? And definitely ask about anything in his profile that you'd like to know more about.

Keep it short - just a paragraph or two. Don't overwhelm him with either information or questions. The idea is to reveal a bit more about yourself while learning more about him, with the goal of determining whether the two of you want to meet in person.

Good luck.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  August 19,2009, 5:38am
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I usually keep the first Open Communication message short so that I don't overwhelm my match. I will ask one or two basic questions usually related to how long they have lived in the area or something related to the basic information in their profile. I avoid the "tell me about yourself" as I don't like people to ask me that, ask specific questions.

I wouldn't put too much into his first communication. Starting off the Open Communication process is a bit hard. I would see if he communicates a bit better in the following e-mails and how he is if you talk on the phone and meet in person. Some people just are not very good at e-mail and they may not type very well so keep things very short.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  August 19,2009, 8:32am
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Don't be so quick to judge a person. E-mails are not necessarily an accurate reflection of who they are and there are tons of good people out there who are terrible when it come to writing and e-mails. Exchange a couple more e-mails and see if you can talk on the phone - that will give you a slightly better idea about how he is to talk to.
 
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bclfgrd2 is offline bclfgrd2 Post #9  August 19,2009, 9:36am
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DancingFool wrote :
Don't be so quick to judge a person. E-mails are not necessarily an accurate reflection of who they are and there are tons of good people out there who are terrible when it come to writing and e-mails. Exchange a couple more e-mails and see if you can talk on the phone - that will give you a slightly better idea about how he is to talk to.
Exactly. Especially on that first message - as Spider said (and I completely agree), it can be really awkward.
 
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jet2there is offline jet2there Post #10  August 19,2009, 11:39am
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I've had first messages in OC like this, too. It is a little bit of a turn-off, because it seems like the guy doesn't even care to take the time to write a well thought-out email. It doesn't have to be long one. I know it's awkward...but that is the idea of online dating, anyway, so everybody needs to get past that. I'd write a few basic sentences back and then let him take the ball again.
 
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