Seeking advice in choosing dating site to use


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Maggie_in_Savannah is offline Maggie_in_Savannah Post #1  August 18,2009, 6:38pm
Maggie_in_Sav…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 8

See profile

I'm newly divorced. In the next few weeks, I am planning to sign up for one of the major dating sites. I'm considering which would be best for what I'm looking for at this point.

I very much like the idea of eHarmony's matching on personality. I'd rather meet quality people whom I have things in common with. However, I have the impression that eHarmony daters are seriously seeking that one-and-only lifetime mate. Are most eHarmony members pretty serious?

To be honest, I want to take my time and have fun. I haven't dated post-divorce, yet. I'm more in the mood to date different people and just see what's out there. I'm not talking about being wild & crazy, or permanently single; I mean, I'm not looking for anything very serious anytime too soon.

Based on what I'm ready for and not ready for, do you think that eHarmony is probably not the site for me at this time? If so, which site would you recommend for someone like me? Girls just want to have fun.

Thanks!
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  August 18,2009, 6:45pm
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

Congratulations on your coming freedom and your interest in living life!

EH is very much of a site for people who really are seeking a long term relationship. If you read other threads here you will see that the membership is pretty frustrated with their success, but you will also notice that they keep coming back. The reason that people come back is that they fundamentally believe in the EH system.

If people were looking for "dates" and "fun" they would not put up with the frustration that EH can cause.

Your matches will assume that you are a member of EH because you are looking to start a long term relationship.
 
  Reply With Quote
Maggie_in_Savannah is offline Maggie_in_Savannah Post #3  August 18,2009, 7:51pm
Maggie_in_Sav…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 8

See profile

DDjr wrote :
Your matches will assume that you are a member of EH because you are looking to start a long term relationship.
Thanks, that's exactly the type of feedback I was looking for. I'm open to the possibility of a long term relationship, but not rushing to it. It would have to be laid back and gradual for me, and not pushing to become exclusive too fast.

Do you have a recommendation for me on where I could meet quality people who are seeking more similiar goals to mine? Thanks.
 
  Reply With Quote
sheerpictures is offline sheerpictures Post #4  August 18,2009, 8:28pm
sheerpictures's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

I strongly recommend okcupid. It's free, user-friendly, and has an incredibly diverse group of users. You can specify on that site whether you're interested in short-term dating, long-term dating, one-night stands, friendship, marriage, whatever. You get to browse through as many people as you want, rather than get a limited number of matches sent to you.

Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  August 19,2009, 6:03am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Do yourself and any potential future matches a favor and take time to heal from your previous marriage and divorce. Do not date for at least ONE YEAR!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  August 19,2009, 6:08am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I have tried several dating sites. I had very little success on Match with only 4 girls responding out of over 600 that I contacted with a years subscription. I had even less success on Yahoo! Personals with only one response in six months. With eHarmony I have a little bit better luck and find the girls that I meet to be "higher quality". But different sites work better for different people and there are some on these Advice boards who have had no luck at eHarmony but have had great luck on a different site.
 
  Reply With Quote
eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  August 19,2009, 10:06am

Moderator

Joined: Sep 2008

Pasadena, California

Posts: 1,814

See profile

Dear Maggie_in_Savannah,

This is a really appropriate question to ask, because eHarmony is known for being a “relationship site” rather than a dating site (with dating as an ends in and of itself).

At the same time, I don’t believe that it excludes people who are in your place in the word of singleness. There are some benefits, in fact, to using eHarmony when you are “fresh.” First, eHarmony does tend to draw a membership base of high quality people. Members tend to be more self-aware and willing to do some self-reflection for personal growth and improved relationships.

The Guided Communication process enables you to think through some issues and deal-breakers, and get to know you and your matches better. It’s a process that helps you learn about what you want and what you are looking for (even in just the company you keep). It may also inform you how to make wise choices down the road.

If you are a little gun-shy being newly divorced, it also enables you to learn some good information about your match before you actually meet in person. In other words, you can be selective in whom you go out with. If you learn information about your match during the communication process that doesn’t make you comfortable, you can close the match before you even meet in person.

If you do choose eHarmony, Maggie_in_Savannah, you may want to write a brief description on your About Me page of where you are at and what you are looking for. Those who are looking exclusively for long-term relationships will be alerted and can make an informed decision of whether or not they want to communicate with you.

I hope, too, that you will stick around here, on eHarmony Advice. There are great discussions and topics that arise on these boards about relationships. Just rubbing shoulders with members of this community can help you as you move forward in your journey.

I wish you all the best in your dating endeavors!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  August 19,2009, 10:56am
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,608

See profile

Fill out your profile here and add some photos and join some of the groups here. That's one way.
 
  Reply With Quote
Tank is online now Tank Post #9  August 19,2009, 7:57pm
Tank's Avatar

Boldly going where no one has Gone before

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2008

Horsham,PA

Posts: 633

See profile

You could try 2 dating sites at same time if you are financially inclined. I like e-harmony but when you constantly get matches sent to you 7 one day, none the next, and 2 the next, with 3 out of the 9 having a picture it can be frustrating. So having a online dating site where you can see pictures are very helpful.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« waiting for the match to initiate | Using eHarmony | Profile incomplete without RelyID??? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Welcome and Tips for eHarmony Advice Newbies! eHA_Admin_Lori Talk to your Community Team 10 February 9,2012 12:07pm
New single father... seeking advice The1Tomcat About You 53 October 24,2010 6:28am
In need of serious dating advice code Dating 13 July 16,2009 12:41am
Dating Veteran Advice Needed IcecreamMoon Dating 25 July 11,2009 5:00pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:03pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0