Robert_inSD is offline Robert_inSD Post #1  August 18,2009, 6:24pm
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One of the basic pieces of advice from Dr. Warren is to contact every match that you receive. There is substantial wisdom and experience behind this advice, so how is it that few follow through on this action?

If you think there is too much work involved, there are controlling elements to manage the impact, and make the most use of your subscription to eHarmony. Turning on and off the setting for receipt of new matches allows those who are inundated to control the rate of introductions.

Why contact (or close) every match? Taking action provides you with two different possible benefits, regardless of the outcome.
A) You find THE ONE (Congratulations! )
B) You gain experience and insight about yourself and your expectations. (Congratulations! )

So...
1. Do you procrastinate and let new introductions accumulate? How long of a period for that is acceptable to you, or acceptable to your matches?
2. Do you have a busy schedule and can only check in, say, once per week? If you are busy, how many matches can you assess or contact with your limited availability?
3. Do you view profiles, and then let them sit without action?

Don't throw away one of the valuable elements of service provided by eHarmony. Review your new introductions, consider them for a day or two if needed, and then take action!
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #2  August 18,2009, 6:42pm
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Beg pardon?

Not meaning to be snippy, but when active on eH, I reviewed and addressed every match sent.

Do you work for eH? Or have you had probs getting others to answer? If the latter, sorry that folk are rude, but I hope that's not the majority of us.

Good luck in your search!
;-)
 
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melman is offline melman Post #3  August 18,2009, 7:09pm
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Robert_inSD wrote :
One of the basic pieces of advice from Dr. Warren is to contact every match that you receive. There is substantial wisdom and experience behind this advice
Wow.

I think it's ridiculous to assume that every match deserves to be contacted. If that was so, then why do they bother with profiles and pictures? Why don't they just send you an email "Here is a match. You are compatible. You Must Respond." ??

What motivated you to write this sage advice, anyway? Frustration over apparent lack of activity from your matches? You've diligently written to each one, and almost no one has written back, right?

wrote :
so how is it that few follow through on this action?
Hasn't it dawned on you that very, very few of your matches are actual current paying customers? Surely less than half... I've seen some estimates as low as 25%. The others are lapsed accounts, trial members who never finished enrollment, etc.

I would gladly accept fewer matches in exchange for assurances that the matches I do get are live members. But instead, I will probably let my membership lapse. Again. I can only tolerate this silliness in 3-month slices.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 18,2009, 7:37pm
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I review every match I get, when I get them. A few are quite obviously a no go and they get closed right away. The ones that I have high interest in I send First Questions to right away. The ones that are in a gray area, such as no photo and very little profile I let sit to see if they will contact me.

When there is a FCW then I will nudge any that have not responded. After the FCW any who have not communicated I will close.
 
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Robert_inSD is offline Robert_inSD Post #5  August 19,2009, 5:06am
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simplemind wrote :
Not meaning to be snippy, but when active on eH, I reviewed and addressed every match sent.

If the latter, sorry that folk are rude, but I hope that's not the majority of us.
I started this topic upon recently reaching a new understanding for the use of eHarmony. Too many matches that I felt were "maybes" had built up, and I had not taken action. That was my own error, and I regret it. However, from that mistake, I learned something. About 80% of the matches never took action, for either communication or closure. I have simply chosen to be part of the 20%, who make full use of the service.

The 80/20 statistic is alarming, and others may be right about inactive or FCW accounts skewing that ratio. I do not think that the lack of action by others should change our choice to act, but merely temper our expectations, and bolster our appreciation of those who do respond.

I get plenty of response. Some are communications, and some are closures. At least I know where I stand, and can act accordingly. The leading post was simply to encourage others to be active, for everyone's success.
 
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kingfish77 is offline kingfish77 Post #6  August 19,2009, 5:46am
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it was suggestested to me as well through contacts at eh that i do investigate each match. of course curiousity played a big part in my investigations but alot of my matches to date are down the coast. i am in new york and i find it pointless trying to persue a match in illinois, south carolina, maryland just to give a few out of state matches i've been sent. i close them out them just to keep my own self image alive. i've relayed this information to eh a number of times. my membership will be a waste of time by the time it's over. i refuse to fly in from any where to have coffee with a new match. it's sounds so extreme but i'm living that here on eh. good luck out there everyone.
 
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