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sheerpictures sheerpictures is offline
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When you're skimming a person's written info, what do you see that makes you want to close a match instantly?

As someone who has closed many matches and who has been closed by many matches, I am curious to see why others choose to cross people off their list of potentials.

After all, although there are a few basic "Do's" and "Don't's" involved in filling out your Introductory Information, profile evaluation is very subjective. I don't think there is a universal Ideal Profile. Different people are attracted and repelled by different qualities.

There are two things that make me close a match almost instantly.

1. Poor or sloppy writing. As an English teacher and a lover of literature, I can't help but recoil when there are glaring spelling mistakes or clunky sentences.

2. Even more stomach-churning than grammar mess-ups is banality. When people answer questions with meaningless declarations like "I am passionate about living life to the fullest!" or hybrids of various cliches such as "Life is full of its ups and downs so I always pick myself up and start again and have great hopes for the future" or bemusing run-on sentences in the manner of, "I am hoping to better myself every day and gain new experiences and knowledge that will help me better able to support my family, friends, and future partner and become more successful at my job," I start popping Pepto-Bismol.

Men who sound like fortune cookies or inspirational Christian bookmarks = not sexy.

Men who sound creative & quirky = sexy.

What about you? Why close a match? What does he or she write, or how does he or she write, that turns you off?
- August 18th, 2009, 07:51 pm
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texastee texastee is offline
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"I want a woman who can go from ball gown to ball cap."

What does that mean?
- August 18th, 2009, 08:12 pm
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GypsyWillow GypsyWillow is offline
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GypsyWillow Is Extremely Misunderstood

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Upon first look at a profile, if it is not completely filled out that is a no. If they have answered questions with "You will have to find out", or "Only my friends know", I find it unacceptable. I also don't care for a profile with out a photo.
- August 18th, 2009, 08:20 pm
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melman melman is offline
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Most of the profiles I see look like they've come off a big Xerox machine somewhere. And I'm talking about profiles that have been filled out... not ones that are obviously incomplete.

(one thing you're passionate about) "I am passionate about living life." Come on, you can't point to one thing that makes you who you are? This ought to be the easiest question in the whole profile, perhaps that's why it's listed first. But hardly anyone can write an interesting answer.

(The first thing you'll notice about me) "I'm very shy." Way to put a positive spin on yourself.

(something only your friends know) "If you become my friend, then you'll know" or some variation. So not only can't you think of anything distinctive, but this is your best attempt at humor?

(anything else you want to say) "Not at this time." Hey, thanks for that.

(last book read) "The Secret." Wish for something and it will come true. You have no sense of knowing how to reach your goals, and apparently no religious thoughts either. You're just clueless. That's nice.
Last edited by melman; August 18th, 2009 at 08:56 pm.
- August 18th, 2009, 08:35 pm
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GypsyWillow GypsyWillow is offline
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GypsyWillow Is Extremely Misunderstood

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texastee wrote :
"I want a woman who can go from ball gown to ball cap."

What does that mean?
What does that mean? OK you like baseball games so she should like sporting events, but the ball gown. In todays world what kind of event are you going to take your date to where she would be able to wear a ball gown. Just curious.
- August 18th, 2009, 09:01 pm
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nfalls nfalls is offline
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GypsyWillow wrote :
Upon first look at a profile, if it is not completely filled out that is a no. If they have answered questions with "You will have to find out", or "Only my friends know", I find it unacceptable. I also don't care for a profile with out a photo.
"I'm new so I hope this works. PLEASE POST A PHOTO. People think that's shallow but it's not. I have a BA in Psych and chemistry involves looks and that's that. Fill out ALL the questions. And don't use the same cliches."
- August 18th, 2009, 09:19 pm
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LeonardoMystic LeonardoMystic is offline
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I close out matches often for the reasons as follow:


1. You have time to sign up, you have time to fill out your profile. Nothing will make me close a match faster than an incomplete profile. If you had time to create one and take the Compatibility Test, then you can make time again to fill out that profile. This includes a clear photograph. I prefer matches who have a photo so I can see who I'm talking to.


2. Be intelligent. Is it so hard to be clean and clear cut in your sentences? Define paragraphs; don't crowd everything together, and be careful about spelling and grammar. When in doubt, consult a dictionary.


3. Be descriptive. You're telling us about yourself so those who are interested can formulate a good opinion of you so you don't end in the pile of millions of closed matches. I hate the one liners and the "ask me if u want to know".


4. While I am a Christian and it's great to have my match Christian, that's not all who I am. It shouldn't be what you're all about either. I want to know hobbies, favorite foods, TV shows, etc. More often than not I get Matches where in each and every question all they do is talk about God or anything religious.


Number 4 is the one that's been peeving me most lately. I am getting downright sick of it. I can't formulate a good opinion on a Match if all they answer is with religion. Why won't you say anything else about your life in your profile? I know your religion can't be all who you are.
Last edited by LeonardoMystic; August 18th, 2009 at 10:05 pm.
- August 18th, 2009, 10:02 pm
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DeltaKing DeltaKing is offline
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"I am passionate about life." I didn't realize so many other people share my sentiment about this one - it's an empty answer.

First name = one initial. I'd rather see a made-up name than a timid name.

No photo. C'mon, at least post one.
- August 18th, 2009, 11:07 pm
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Teacherman25 Teacherman25 is offline
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My favorite.....
(Most important things in your life) my beautiful baby boy (hes my world), My child support, and SEX.

I am not kidding guys. That was what one of my matches ACTUALLY put.

I have to agree with OP. The biggest turnoff for me is poor grammar. I don't think you have to sound like you are lecturing 300 students at Harvard, but at least make sure you sound like you finished the 4th grade. Some of these profiles are so bad it makes you wonder how ignorant the person must sound in real life. Either that, or they didn't spend much time on their profile.
- August 19th, 2009, 12:21 am
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tweet37 tweet37 is offline
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tweet37 has all the tools and can........satisfy

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No photo and basically blank profile is a huge turn-off.
Last edited by tweet37; August 19th, 2009 at 05:58 am. Reason: Kinda like the OP.
- August 19th, 2009, 05:58 am
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