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greytgal greytgal is offline
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firearms, guns and hunting

Unless you work in law enforcement, in the military, or live in the wilds of the west I don't see the need or allure.

I have repeatedly asked eharmony to screen on this as weapons denote violence.

Also, though I am not a vegetarian or vegan, people who are vegetarian or vegan are going to automatically be put off by people who hunt for sport of food.

Fishing I don't mind so much, but I draw the line at killing Bambi's mother.
- September 4th, 2009, 07:57 am
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melman melman is online now
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alng wrote :
As a woman I never open a profile first, because I like to feel as if it were real life and I'm just not the type to approach a man; so if they write to me, they have an interest. I like to give as many people the opportunity to write to me.
If I'm reading this correctly, this is the first time I've ever seen this... ummm... "strategy". I don't see what it adds to the process.
wrote :
in writing my own profile, I try as much as possible to interject my personality, as this is one of the most important things for me as I have a vibrant personality
Fantastic.
wrote :
One responder on here says he's turned off by people who refuse to give up information that only their best friend knows- now why would I want to share that with anybody
No, not "one responder" says this. Every responder says this. 90% of the profiles I see, say "you'll have to become my friend first". It's a lazy and annoying response. It's not asking for your social security number. It's an opportunity for you to say something unique about yourself, and show your personality and sense of humor. Don't blow it.

wrote :
Being a talker, and being very expressive, it is so hard to get that personality in. I constantly have to erase what I really intended to say to a very curtailed version.
Don't edit and re-edit and fine-tune your profile. Answer the questions off the top of your head in a conversational manner. When you endlessly fine-tune, it starts not to sound like "you".
However, I would say that the character counts are not limited enough. The questions are simple and the answers should be quick. No one reads essays.
- September 4th, 2009, 08:05 am
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melman melman is online now
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greytgal wrote :
firearms, guns and hunting ...
I have repeatedly asked eharmony to screen on this as weapons denote violence.
Fishing I don't mind so much, but I draw the line at killing Bambi's mother.
I want them to automatically screen out people who put ketchup on their ice cream.

You're being unreasonable. They're not going to screen based on politics or hobbies.
- September 4th, 2009, 08:11 am
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pags524 pags524 is offline
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I agree with the photo thing, however I do actually read the profile and, if I'm interested, I will request a photo. With the photos, however, there really should be something more than a head shot that doesn't even make it to the shoulders. One of the responses here said that looks=chemistry and I have to agree. As with food, if something doesn't look appetizing, you're probably not going to be inclined to taste it.

In regards to the "one thing I'm most passionate about" question... I think its a HORRIBLE question. I do so many things in life it's really impossible to narrow it down to a singularity. I love to cook. I'm in a signed band and love to play music. I'm really into photography and will pull to the side of the road if something catches my eye while driving. What am I most passionate about? Maybe I'm just not comprehending the question properly.

What I'd REALLY like to see in place of this, is a "say a little about yourself" kind of thing where the person needs to come up with a general statement. Yes, I know you're gonna get run of the mill answers from something like that as well, but it just another way to tell if someone has a little originality or if they are just "going through the motions" with this site.

Something that peeves me about all profiles (and its not the users fault... its eHarmony) is I would like to know if someone has children (and not leave it up to them to put in the "what I can't live without" area). For a lot of people, that can really be a deal breaker and it would be nice to see a thing near the name and age information... "Has kids... yes / no". I do web programming for a living... its not that hard to add a field into the database and update the form.
- September 4th, 2009, 08:16 am
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Michiganer Michiganer is offline
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For me, there are three factors that will get a match closed without further consideration. One: No picture. This is the Internet...put on good pictures, people! Two: Not answering all the questions. eHarmony puts them there for a reason, so answer ALL of them! Three: Answers such as "I'll tell you when you're my closest friend." Again, eHarmony puts the question there to see how open you are willing to be. For me, that is a critical factor.

If any of those three are present, the match gets closed without consideration.

Another big consideration for me is how well your profile is written. Do you demonstrate a knowledge of the difference between your and you're? To and two and too? And do you use open, honest, revealing statements, not just trite phrases? Everyone knows that every woman loves walks on the beach. What do YOU love and why?

Your profile should reveal YOU, not the you you think I want to meet.
Last edited by Michiganer; September 4th, 2009 at 08:23 am. Reason: spelling, revisions, and additional words
- September 4th, 2009, 08:16 am
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gDate gDate is offline
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No picture is an automatic close. It just seems like the person is not ready to accept that he is dating. Also, profiles that are just way too emotional, written in broken English, or hint at or mention sex (whoa, slow down dude). Seems needy.

A profile that is witty and gets me to laugh can cover over most any negative.

Another thing - motorcycles. Please! Grow up! Click.
- September 4th, 2009, 08:18 am
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Janland Janland is offline
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[quote=sheerpictures;714343]When you're skimming a person's written info, what do you see that makes you want to close a match instantly?

Recent turnoffs:
What are you passionate about? Mule riding and kayaking
Football (that's all?)
Other turnoffs---when the guy answers a question with "I'll tell you later" or about 3 words that don't give any indication of who this person really is!
- September 4th, 2009, 08:18 am
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gDate gDate is offline
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Interesting that people say they are turned off by metioning God or Faith, I just want to say that is a turn ON for me. Also, it shows courage.
- September 4th, 2009, 08:28 am
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sayhi925 sayhi925 is offline
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If a guy's photos include those taken with either a webcam, cell phone or taken of himself in the mirror it's a definite close.
- September 4th, 2009, 08:31 am
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notsoopinionated notsoopinionated is offline
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Hmmm, there are a few.

Like most others, I don't care for an incomplete profile. How am I to know if you are someone I want to talk to if you answer three nondescript questions and stop?

I, too, have a problem with poor grammar and spelling. If you have trouble in these areas, find a way to get help. You can put your answers on MS Word and run spell check on them and then copy them in for crying out loud! I don't want to be with someone who won't take the time for a good first impression, what would he be like 6 months after we started dating if that's his best foot forward?

Mentioning sex or religion repeatedly. I think it is obvious that you will want a physical relationship eventually but it makes me uncomfortable to see it mentioned up front. I, like others, want a Christian but I want a well-rounded one. I would think that you would mention it one time but not on every line.

No pictures is a biggie too. I worry that you are afraid either that you are too unattractive or that you are already in a relationship and don't want to be found out. Post pictures, you will get more interest.

Well, I wrote a novel but it's all the truth!
- September 4th, 2009, 08:32 am
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