There are some really good answers here! I have to agree with a number of them-- closing out for no interests in common, bad pictures, blanks in the profile or extremely limited answers ("I'll tell you later"... don't think we'll get to that point!). Individuals who go on and on about religion, politics, sex, a particular hobby or physical perfections (their own or what is expected of a partner).
Obviously we all have our preferences. If all you want is a sex partner, then you might be thrilled to meet the person who won't stop talking about it! But I want someone a little more 3 dimensional and well rounded!
I don't mind there being no picture, but don't lie about your looks. I'm overweight and freely admit it and post pictures accordingly. I've had a number of matches who complain that women won't accept them for their looks, weight, height, baldness, etc. but then insist that their match be model perfect! I'm sure you men have received your share of similar double standards...
As far as getting matches who are Not There-- it would be nice if their profiles were deleted from the sight. I did turn off the "matching" feature, and even listed in my profile that I was ending my subscription, but was still receiving matches. So it doesn't always work. : ( Oh well, happy searching & good luck!

At this point, its clear that the answer to this isn't so simple. But for all of you reading this read all the comments and see for yourself. Everyone has their issues. Be it bad grammar, incomplete profiles, doesn't like the word cuddle or snuggle etc. Bottom line is this: There is no one thing that will close your profile. It's not about you anyway. What someone sees in what you have written that turns them off of you and makes them go elsewhere as general rule is their personal issue and not yours. Secondly, I would point out that it is that "issue" that would come up in a relationship in an unpleasant way if it were otherwise. So don't think of it as a rejection notice.

And if yuns don likes ma gramma yuns can sot off!!!!

Any form of "Don't write me if..." Obviously, we all have our preferences (hence, this thread), but people who are so negative they have to make demands in their profile are not for me. I don't want to find out how negative and demanding they are in real life.

Photos - Obviously, I want to see them, and as others have stated, ones that actually show the person. If there is not one in the beginning and the person looks interesting, I give it a few days. No harm to me. I find the attitude of closing immediately for that as a very negative quality in a person. If a friend says they want to introduce me to someone, I don't say "NO, not now or ever. I don't know what she looks like now, so I never want to know." That is more for a friend who does that, and his personality exhibits that negative attitude all the way around. You are on here to meet a lifetime husband or wife, but you have that attitude? Says a lot.

No need to detail the rest -- one sentence responses; partial sentences; text format (I rarely get that).

My biggest pet peeve is those who "double dip", but you can't see that here. I will close a match if the profile is not complete. Have enough respect to put a photo (although not a deal breaker). A complete profile with a photo says you are serious and respectful enough to provide all information. I feel if you leave something out there is reason. This is important and the reason I'm on eHarmony is because this site seems more about compatabilities. I do prefer someone in the medical or sciences fields because of my having Engineering training as well as Culinary. If you spell something wrong, big deal... just don't have a picture of you double dipping, (ha ha).

A similar thread to this one appeared a couple of years back, and I'll have to admit my pet peeves haven't changed much in that time. When I chose eHarmony, I did so because I thought it would be a) more effective/accurate owing to the more scientific matching approach, and b) less shallow / less focused on physical attractiveness.

Unfortunately, I discovered that this isn't the selling factor for most of my matches. Instead, I got the following:

- reams of "matches" with obviously conflicting interests. Why, if I said I wasn't even remotely into athletic pursuits or horses in my initial profile questionnaire, was I immediately matched up with an athletic trainer and a professional horseback rider? Did EH mess up, or did the match hold things back in their questionnaire and/or profile? Assuming EH is in fact as scientifically valid as they claim, I can only assume that people's profiles don't often match with their questionnaires, which means one or the other is grossly inaccurate. Not exactly a confidence booster or a turn-on. I also got a number of matches who claimed not to drink or smoke, but who also claimed they liked to go out drinking with their friends, or posted pictures of themselves drinking and smoking. The system doesn't work if you aren't honest about your true interests in both the profile and the questionnaire. Clearly, everybody's needs/wants are going to vary, to some degree. What works for me won't necessarily work for somebody else. That's why we have these sites, isn't it?

- roughly 60% of the matches couldn't spell or couldn't communicate accurately in English. I have nothing against anybody of other nationalities - in fact, I have been strongly atrracted to women of a multitude of racial and national backgrounds throughout my life - but I am currently limited to speaking English, a smattering of French - I have roughly the vocabulary of a 6-year old Quebecois - and a handful of words in Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Hindi, Russian, German, and Spanish - not even enough to order a good meal in most cases - so if my potential match has difficulty conversing in my primary tongue, they're well on their way to being off my list. And, no, they don't have to be brilliant writers or speakers, but the way one communicates is reflective of one's general intelligence and maturity, and I have no interested in being pared with a drooling moron or a texting teenie-bopper. The occasional spelling mistake is acceptable (although it implies a lack of care); an inability to write a single sentence is not. In my experience, it's very difficult to build a strong bond between two people who can't communicate with each other (for whatever reason), no matter what Hollywood would like us to believe.

- roughly 80% seemed to lack enough openness and honesty to be ready for a serious relationship. Case in point: the infamous "something only your best friend would know" response of "you'll have to become my best friend to find out," or similar. To me, this conveys a staggering lack of ability to trust (or originality), and makes me wonder what they might be trying so hard to hide from me. The first time I saw it, it almost seemed cute. The second time, I became wary. The 100th time, it became an instant "close match" criterion. Further, I agree with a previous respondent: if this is your idea of humour, we are definitely on different wavelengths.

- a significant number of matches seemed to only be interested in "hooking-up" or making new friends, and seemed to have no desire to find a deeper relationship. Last I checked, this wasn't the intent of EH. There are cheaper sites devoted to being online "meet markets" for people just trying to find an online fling. I'm not one of those people, hence why I'm here, and not there. Call me old-fashioned, but I like a deeper connection with the people who share my bed.

- most matches didn't complete the profile, in some cases after several months. That's right; I actually let some of them ride for a significant period of time just to see if they would update their information, rather than immediately closing them. Most never added pictures or answered the profile questions. I tend to attribute their incomplete state to two primary factors: 1) the questionnaire took longer than anticipated to complete, and they ran out of time to finish the profile or were anxious to see who was matched with them before completing it, and/or 2) they were so disappointed with their initial matches that they never bothered to complete the process and sign up. What can I say: sorry to disappoint you, I'm not that hunky guy you saw in the TV ads (FYI: he's taken). There is a 3rd possible reason as well, I suspect: after completing the questionnaire, and getting their initial matches, they discovered they couldn't afford to pay for the service.

In the end, I'll admit I became as much of a ghost as those who failed to complete their profiles: after hundereds of "matches," most of whom came nowhere near my expectations nor seemed to have any common interests with me whatsoever, and in light of my own ailing budget, I turned off my matching and terminated my subscription over a year ago. Not to be bitter or negative, but by the sounds of this thread, not much has changed since then, so it may be a while before I try again. Kudos to everybody who has had more staying power than I have!

You know, I'm really glad that I read through this thread. I closed my account because almost all of the matches that were being sent to me had incomplete profiles and no photos. It was frustrating!

When I wrote customer service and explained why I wanted to close my account, they made statements as if something were wrong with me because I wanted to see photos of who I was talking to! I can't remember the comment verbatim but it was something referring to the "close to 200 plus marriages monthly can't be wrong".

Though having no profile photos and incomplete profiles is my biggest pet peeve, I'm ticked with eHarmony for including so many of these people in my matches. Yes, I do have a complete profile and plenty of photos. I'm just glad to see that more folks really would like to see who they are talking to.

That's a fine reason for hiding your photo. But I don't care. I don't waste time begging for photos. Well maybe if the profile makes my heart skip a beat. But you know - that has never ever happened. The picture and the profile should come as a package deal.

wrote :

Well then they should turn off the matching and it won't waste anyone's time.

Well, they don't. So we have the problem. You will find many discussions here about different ways that eH could deal with this problem but it is obvious that they don't want to.

I would agree with the other posters here, plus it's a pet peeve of mine when people put Water in their list of things that can't live without. Seriously?!

I found all the responses to this quite interesting so far.

It just shows how different personalities respond to different things. I have tried to keep an open mind while on here, and really don't close a lot of matches- my box is quite full incidentally.
As a woman I never open a profile first, because I like to feel as if it were real life and I'm just not the type to approach a man; so if they write to me, they have an interest. I like to give as many people the opportunity to write to me.
Now when they do write, and I open their profiles, I have to say the first thing I'm looking for is some form of intelligence.
Here's where it gets tricky for me; in writing my own profile, I try as much as possible to interject my personality, as this is one of the most important things for me as I have a vibrant personality and I get bored easily- some profiles barely gives you an insight into these personalities, well at least the personality that comes off is one that is quite dead.
One responder on here says he's turned off by people who refuse to give up information that only their best friend knows- now why would I want to share that with anybody- clearly only my best friend knows, and maybe I'd like to keep it that way?
Additionally, you can't find everything about a person in one profile, and though I'm generally not turned off by their evasiveness on this particular issue- the way that they evade the question is pretty telling- I may be turned off or slightly interested, even though I don't like men shrouded in mystery.

I used to think that pictures were so unimportant until I started to meet people without knowing what they looked like, and that didn't go over so well. I have always been disappointed- they have always been ecstatic, so now I won't see you unless I know what you look like, and those looks need to show up early in the correspondence to keep my interest.

Now for the intelligence, which is very rare these days.
Here's what I think- this site does not allow one to really express themselves- one of my frustrations here. Being a talker, and being very expressive, it is so hard to get that personality in. I constantly have to erase what I really intended to say to a very curtailed version. I have to say, it's quite annoying. If you're on a dating site then you should be allowed to really express yourself- enough with the limited characters already.
This feature si so bad that sometimes I can't really get a true sense of personlities. I corresponded to one person through to open comunication for him to write, "so what's up girl?" what!!!!!
I was so annoyed that I wasted my time- clearly I did.
This brings me to my other annoyance- the people that ignore the fact that I prefer Fast track- I am very aware some men are turned off by this, but this is a risk I'm willing to take. If you think that fast track means that you are going to fast, then clearly we are not a good match.
I do not need anyone to guide my conversation. I find this to be the most tedious, annoying feature of this site. I do understand some people like it, and it clearly comes down to personality. I am very gemini and I just don't like the restrictions and being tied to one process and being stuck while I get busy between responses, or when he gets busy between responses. I do forget who I am talking to and do lose interest- very frustrating.
I have said in my profile 'only fast track please' and I still get this guided whatnot responses- please people.
I am a great girl, but you'll never find that out if you insist on writing me through that process.

One of my wishes for this site is that they would include what a person's sign is. I mean seriously, I would know off the bat if I want to spend time getting to know these people.
I also want to know if they have been married and if they have kids immediately. I do not not to wait a whole process to ask these very important questions.
I realise I have digressed in this little 'expose' but I needed to get all that off my chest