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texasdarlin texasdarlin is offline
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texasdarlin is happy.

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A few more thoughts...

1. I read through a series of posts about being physically fit. If a man mentions it frequently along with a list of activities such as running, cycling, and other sports I will tend to close a match. I'll explain why. I don't have anything either activity, but at the moment both are an impossibility. I had a stroke 5 years ago. I had to learn to walk again. With time and a lot of work I've been able to walk fairly normally. Running is another story. If I try to run it scares small children. (You're supposed to chuckle or at least smile at that). The fact is I don't know that I'll ever be able to run again and I haven't tried to get on a bicycle. I can walk and I can hike-not for any great distances yet, but I'm getting there. Maybe I shouldn't close the match out, but it's been my experience with only 2 out of who knows how many exceptions that once I've told a man about the stroke I never hear from him again. Again-my experience, my perception.

2. The whole ball cap to ball gown and other trite phrases-that's just it. They're worn out, banal, cliche, etc. In other words, they're overused.

3. Several people have mentioned time as a factor as to why, (possibly), a match has not completed his profile. I understand this which is why I did not post my profile until it was complete and I was satisfied with it. In the past I have have waited for up to one month before closing several incomplete matches. Nothing ever happened. I've also requested photos from matches and have never received a response. It never occurred to me that some of this might be due to a free weekend or other promotion so thanks to whoever mentioned it first.

4. Someone else made a comment about people who complained about pictures not having one posted here. I don't because I'm currently active on eharmony as well as another dating site. I do have pictures of myself as well as with friends, family, and yes, my dogs posted on my profile. One of the things I like about eharmony is that you can add captions. I don't like to date stamp my photos so I put it in the caption.
- September 7th, 2009, 10:49 am
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mysteryspirit542 mysteryspirit542 is offline
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First, no picture, or picture of man w/any type of motor vehicle, and/or gold chain.
Some other things: have to play a certain sport, profile not filled out completely, too much talk about his work, too much focus on sex, & no or very little about faith in his life (and I do not mean "religion" or in a fundementalist way).
- September 7th, 2009, 12:20 pm
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CapnCrunch23 CapnCrunch23 is offline
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I'm sure this could be another thread.. but I am curious.. Do anyone else check out the competitions profile when creating or updating your own profile?? I know I do. I try to set myself apart from all the others so I dont make any profile pet peeves list.
- September 8th, 2009, 07:15 am
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Me2You Me2You is offline
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I find it quite funny that those above who are complaining most about "No Photo" have no photo posted.

Yes, grammar and spelling are huge, sorry but it just says trailer trash to me, or someone not willing to make an effort (a good example of what you would get in a relationship with them).

Instant turn offs are "Looking for a Good Hearted Woman", and "No baggage" or "No Games". I have found that these people are those that tend to play/have games/baggage the most.

I also notice that the complaints seem to be the same regardless of the site you are on. (I have checked out a few) I thought maybe it was a case of "you get what you pay for" but I find the same quality profiles on free sites such as "plentyoffish", some good, some bad.

I would like to quote nec240 on the picture issue (says it all quite well and I toally agree!) :

- Tiny photo. I click to see the full size picture, and it's still too small to actually see any details. Tip: Post at least two recent pictures. A face shot, where I can see all the ugly details (I have them, too), and a tasteful body shot, where I can see what kind of shape you're in.

- "Sexy" photo. If you have ten photos up, and one is of you in a bikini, great. If you have three pictures, and all three are of you showing your cleavage, no thanks. I'm looking for a soul mate, not a hookup. If you look hot, that's awesome, but it shouldn't be all about your looks. Not in eH, anyway.

- Your photo with your much more attractive friend(s) [supahguy] It makes me want to date your friend(s).

- Photo next to car, motorcycle, or boat. Okay, you own a vehicle, or you really enjoy a vehicle. Fantastic. You're so cool. Nothing wrong with said methods of transportation, just don't include a photo of it, since it'll imply things I don't like.

- Photo of you drinking, holding a drink, or involved in a goofy drinking-related activity (e.g. wearing a "St. Patrick's 2009!" hat). Yes, you clearly enjoy drinking and you want me to think that you are a fun person. Ehh, not really. You're trying too hard. I drink socially, and enjoy alcohol, but I don't want you to think I'm addicted to anything.
- September 8th, 2009, 08:34 am
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Bouffy Bouffy is offline
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I used to be bothered by no photos; But then I noticed the option to only share my photo with others who share theirs. Problem solved!

I generally don't like doing the whole matching thing in general. I like writing more so I'll generally just go straight to a fast rack if possible.

I don't like unclean profiles. Vulgarity and broken sentences are sad.
- September 8th, 2009, 08:43 am
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AnnieDayNow AnnieDayNow is offline
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I list "My cat" in things I can't live without, for precicely the same reasons some of you object to it. It's just another way to weed out people who I'd really rather not waste my time with. I don't go on and on about it, but I look at it as a form of 'honest disclosure'.

Now, that said, my 'pet peeves' are:

a) Bad grammar and or spelling -- to the extreme. One or two words is OK, but not if it becomes hard to read. I make exceptions if it is obvious that English isn't his first language.

b) Excessive reference to exercise or physical fitness. I actualy had one match list physical fitness in his answers to every single profile question. I couldn't close him out fast enough!

c) Mentioned before, but several references to God and Jesus. My word! You are listed as Christian or Jewish under religious preference. I get the POINT already.

d) This is post-profile, but it irks me all the same: Asking the 'premarital sex' question under First Questions. Can't we at least meet in person before we talk about sex? I'm not opposed to sex. It's a natural part of being human. I don't even object to its mention in the profile. I DO object to discussing it in an introductory setting such as First Questions, however...

Just my opinions,
Annie
Last edited by AnnieDayNow; September 8th, 2009 at 02:51 pm. Reason: Grammar. Ha!
- September 8th, 2009, 02:48 pm
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psychometristgirl psychometristgirl is offline
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I absolutely agree about bad grammar!!!! No photo is worse though - not even worth a glance or a reply - the guy could be emailing from prison for all I know.

Arrogance is a huge turnoff - I read one yesterday that said he wants a woman with "no baggage" (he's in his 50's) and that he has no baggage - where has he been - under a rock somewhere?

And my biggest is the 40+ guys who don't know if they want kids or put that they "someday, will want to have kids" - come on by the time you are forty you know whether or not you want kids and that your somedays are limited.
- September 8th, 2009, 04:21 pm
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Rigmarole Rigmarole is offline
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Men being coy about themselves make me want to barf. Just be honest, include a photo, and respond when I have done you the courtesy of opening the lines of communication. We live in an instant world, so if you can't respond within a maximum of 5 days, then I close communication.
- September 9th, 2009, 12:49 am
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LectorOne LectorOne is offline
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I had a pet named Peeves once. He was a calico cat, a CPA and a Rosecrucian. I sure miss that cat.

I assumed that the ballgown, baseball cap quote meant that he wanted someone who owned a formal dress and like to make love wearing a ball cap. I can't for the life of me understand the attraction there but then I've always found hats offputting.
- September 9th, 2009, 11:01 am
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franz90 franz90 is offline
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texastee wrote :
"I want a woman who can go from ball gown to ball cap."

What does that mean?
Just riffing here, but I'd say the writer wants you to know s/he'll take you out for an elegant evening on the town ("ball gown") but s/he really likes you wearing a duck-billed cloth cap ("ball cap": think "baseball cap"), especially one with his / her favorite sports team logo stitched or embossed on it. If you like to sit around long weekend afternoons grazing on sports television and eating fatty food, snap up this diverse Dan [Dani?] tout de suite! Might be an active sports participant (avid ballroom dancer), but the emphasis on the apparel suggests otherwise.

Or it might be someone who uses alliteration to signal he likes both extremely formal and extremely casual settings for romance.
- September 10th, 2009, 05:25 pm
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