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CultureOfOne CultureOfOne is offline
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Tina_B313 wrote :
2) The reason that I think you/we get these is because we indicate that we don't want these particular aspects. Instead the system looks for those terms that are mentioned. I hope I'm being clear, but if not, here's my own example. I said I hated anything to do with huntin' (I tried it with and without the "g" with the same results), guns and country music. So what'd I get? Guys who were into the very garbage I wanted to keep out of my life! Great... The term outdoorsy can mean hiking, walking in the woods or hunting and when they're not specific, it can be dicey. I keep telling eHarmony that they should have a list of check boxes of activities that are what you don't want and are unacceptable. It's really quite back-asswards.when you think about it
I hear you, loud and clear. For me, it wasn't even a matter of the profile page - nowhere in my profile did I state that I didn't like anything, at least as far as I can recall - but rather the initial (rather extensive and specific) questionnaire on the 29 dimensions. I'm not sure if anything has changed, but back in the day when I filled out the questionnaire, it was a rating scale (where one end of the scale was "no interest" and the other was "extremently interested" or some variation thereof). I kept getting matched with people who should have been at the opposite end of the spectrum from me. I had come to wonder if they were using the "methinks he doth protest too much" school of psychology and assuming because I said I had no interest that I must really be drawn to it instead! Either that, or they took the "opposites attract" approach way too far. Either way, the result was the same: less-than-apt matches.

For the record: I too prefer to avoid huntin', guns & country music, though I've been known to play the latter when the money gets tight
- September 4th, 2009, 12:47 pm
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Sonic98 Sonic98 is offline
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dixielee wrote :
I don't mind there being no picture, but don't lie about your looks. I'm overweight and freely admit it and post pictures accordingly. I've had a number of matches who complain that women won't accept them for their looks, weight, height, baldness, etc. but then insist that their match be model perfect! I'm sure you men have received your share of similar double standards...

As far as getting matches who are Not There-- it would be nice if their profiles were deleted from the sight. I did turn off the "matching" feature, and even listed in my profile that I was ending my subscription, but was still receiving matches. So it doesn't always work. : ( Oh well, happy searching & good luck!
That why I don't set my match criteria on the looks questions. One person might say a little extra baggae and be extremely large. Someone might put they are a big girl, and they turn out to not be as heavy as they think they are. That's why it's so hard without a pic unless the person is going to give an exact description of thier looks.

I'm not sure about deleting profiles because any of us might have a lil short period of time where we don't renew our subscriptions
- September 4th, 2009, 12:47 pm
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Tina_B313 Tina_B313 is offline
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ClassicCurls wrote :
Welcome to the 21st century, online dating and approaching a random person in public are not the same thing.



Try match.com. There is no guided communication, you have very few questions that might restrain your verbosity in your profile and you can search by sign. If you would know off the bat whether you want to get know to someone based on their astrological sign, perhaps 29 dimensions of personality are too many factors for you.
On the FastTrack thing, keep in mind that if someone is visiting you on a free communication weekend, they can't do FastTrack without paying for a subscription. In these economic times, there may be quite a bit of that happening.

It's funny that a lot of people who are complaining about no photos don't have ones here for us to see. LOL
- September 4th, 2009, 12:51 pm
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Hansky wrote :
Any form of "Don't write me if..." Obviously, we all have our preferences (hence, this thread), but people who are so negative they have to make demands in their profile are not for me. I don't want to find out how negative and demanding they are in real life.

Totally agree
- September 4th, 2009, 12:51 pm
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Tina_B313 Tina_B313 is offline
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Wanting to make a Yes/No decision based on astrology is a personal choice and there are sites that will allow you to do that. To me, astrological compatibility might be a factor but it will never be a deciding factor. eHarmony's 29 dimensions, though not exactly what I want, are based on more than a personally-written profile and pictures.[/quote]

It's interesting that EH Advice lets you post your sign but not the actual dating site.. 'Sup with that
- September 4th, 2009, 12:54 pm
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Tina_B313 Tina_B313 is offline
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PlaysWithString wrote :
If they mention golf, it's an immediate turn off.
I personally would have my head turned by a guy who plays golf, not watches it on tv...plays
- September 4th, 2009, 01:05 pm
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Sonic98 Sonic98 is offline
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As for vague profile answers, let's not forget that someone people are not great at talking about or expressing themselves. I was watching tv and Steve Harvey was telling women questions they should ask in the first few dates. Every one is not expressive like that, not to mention that some might have never answer certain questions. Somee people you have to get to know and pull things out of them
- September 4th, 2009, 01:08 pm
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Tina_B313 Tina_B313 is offline
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CultureOfOne wrote :
I hear you, loud and clear. For me, it wasn't even a matter of the profile page - nowhere in my profile did I state that I didn't like anything, at least as far as I can recall - but rather the initial (rather extensive and specific) questionnaire on the 29 dimensions. I'm not sure if anything has changed, but back in the day when I filled out the questionnaire, it was a rating scale (where one end of the scale was "no interest" and the other was "extremently interested" or some variation thereof). I kept getting matched with people who should have been at the opposite end of the spectrum from me. I had come to wonder if they were using the "methinks he doth protest too much" school of psychology and assuming because I said I had no interest that I must really be drawn to it instead! Either that, or they took the "opposites attract" approach way too far. Either way, the result was the same: less-than-apt matches.

For the record: I too prefer to avoid huntin', guns & country music, though I've been known to play the latter when the money gets tight
I prefer funny tv shows, but yeah, when money's tight the twangy country stuff can make you feel even worse usually. My girl left me, my truck was stolen and my dog got run over just doesn't help. i.e. "I lost ma girl when she took my truck and ran over ma dog on the way out of ma life" Sing it with me now
- September 4th, 2009, 01:22 pm
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Reasons I used to close matches:

1. Fat and/or ugly.
2. Trite and/or long winded profile comments.
3. Christian or Muslim faith.
4. Women over 5'10". I find tall women unattractive.
5. If "Eat, Pray, Love" is a book they read and loved.
6. Overemphasizing how much they love their pets. I've learned from experience that if a woman has more than three pets, and doesn't live in a rural setting, she usually has psychological problems.
7. Talking about children in profile when they said they had no children in "About Me" settings. I suppose they think their profile is so fantastic people will overlook it. Not likely.
- September 4th, 2009, 01:23 pm
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I agree with the poor grammar, but I have actually learned to take a closer look and see if that profile might be written by someone whose native language isn't English.

But I will also automatically close any match that has a profile photo of himself have dressed and posing like he's ready for a magazine photo shoot. GROSS. While I can understand that some are proud of their physique, I think that a photos such as this screams of red flags. Seriously, guys! If you have a nice body, mention that you are fit and like to work out. The narcissism of these almost naked photos is an instant "close" for me.
- September 4th, 2009, 01:23 pm
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