Must Haves and Can't Stands


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jet2there is offline jet2there Post #1  August 13,2009, 12:06pm
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What does everyone think about the option in the "Must Haves" that indicates "committed to marriage and the family"? I was having a great exchange of questions with someone I was very interested in...local, great pictures, lots of common interests. But when I sent my must-haves, he closed the match saying that they were not compatible with him. When I checked, the only difference was that I had the marriage and family one in there and he didn't. OK, how does everyone here read that? I'm independent, confident, and hardly desperate to get married again tomorrow. But I do eventually want to have a partner again, who has the same strong family values that I have. At my age, I don't want to start over with having kids again, so that's obviously not part of it. Does this particular 'must-have' make it sound like I'm expecting the ring on the second date...or do you think this guy was just looking for an excuse to close the match? I'm fine with it either way, but I just want to make sure that I'm not misreading the meaning of this particular option.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  August 13,2009, 12:38pm
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If I saw that, I would assume that you do want to remarry someday. I would not assume anything having to do with a time limit.

Since he Closed you, I would assume he does not see marriage in his future.

His loss...
 
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passat1 is offline passat1 Post #3  August 13,2009, 1:52pm
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First of all you are on Eharmony for singles(your priority is not the marriage) . If the guy was so in a hurry to get married he can transfer his profile to Eharmony for marriages. And I also agree with you, that is not normal to get closed, because some of your MHCS do not match. The thing is to make some compromises, unless looking for the mirror reflecting match of yourself. Otherwise I would be like a chameleon and not telling the truth, sooner or later will break the relationship. May be the real reason like you said, it really was that he was just looking for excuse.
 
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jet2there is offline jet2there Post #4  August 13,2009, 2:03pm
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Thanks guys. I appreciate the comments.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  August 13,2009, 3:21pm
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I might have closed this too, at the age I was when I used eH (about 30), and for what I was looking for at that time (someone to date while I looked for my career to get underway.)
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  August 13,2009, 3:22pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  August 13,2009, 7:22pm
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If you are talking about this MH:
"Family Life...I must have a partner who is committed to marriage, home, and family."

I have it in my MH and I view it as an indication of strong family values. I may be just plain stoopid but I would never consider that this MH in anyway is an indication of desperation in getting married only that the ultimate destination of the relationship is marriage.

I rarely have many matching MHCS with my matches lists. I also rarely get closed out because of my MHCS and I just don't close out people at any point during Guided Communication. Anything that raises a question I will wait and ask for clarification in Open Communication.

As J0hn8andy said, "His loss". I suspect that our MHCS are compatible
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #8  August 13,2009, 7:59pm
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passat1 wrote :
First of all you are on Eharmony for singles(your priority is not the marriage) . If the guy was so in a hurry to get married he can transfer his profile to Eharmony for marriages.
?!?!?!?!? What the heck are you talking about? There aren't two eHarmony dating sites... one for "singles" and another for those wanting to get married!
 
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passat1 is offline passat1 Post #9  August 13,2009, 8:07pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
?!?!?!?!? What the heck are you talking about? There aren't two eHarmony dating sites... one for "singles" and another for those wanting to get married!
Wonderwoman402 wrote :
?!?!?!?!? What the heck are you talking about? There aren't two eHarmony dating sites... one for "singles" and another for those wanting to get married!
Yes there are 2 different sites (both owned by Eharmony)

No.1 for marraiges http://marriage.eharmony.com/

No.2 for singles http://eharmony.com
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #10  August 13,2009, 8:24pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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passat1 wrote :
Yes there are 2 different sites (both owned by Eharmony)

No.1 for marraiges http://marriage.eharmony.com/

No.2 for singles http://eharmony.com
The marriage site is to make your marriage stronger--it plugs itself as an online alternative to marriage counseling. The eHarmony site (that you refer to as the single's site) is to be matched to people and (hopefully) develop a relationship.

Please make sure you check out and know the sites you are posting about before you make claims that may not be true!
 
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