Which is the most frustrating part of Eharmony?


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passat1 is offline passat1 Post #1  August 13,2009, 8:32am
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I know that these vary from person to person, and can change from time to time. Lately I consider this to be when a member replies to the communication (as this happens to be the very rare event-ever to get a reply) and midway before reaching the OC phase, decides to hit the close button. I am refering to a pay member, who replies during the not free weekend. Imagine you've been waiting for this moment a long time (as long as 6 months) and when it finally comes, you feel excited,- just to see later within day or 2 the stamp -closed. It seems more like Eharmony does not offer a communication stymulus, they encourage the rejection stymulus more.
One example: match A (with 11 months subscription only 1 month left) got paired with match B (with 1 month subscription, 11 months left). Communication starts and flows good to either stage 2- exchanging must have/ cant stand, or stage 3- exchange of 2 nd questions and the breakdown comes.
At the end is not happyend for both A and B (the chance is 50% that B will experience similar disappointment and situations like A ).
11 months of waiting just as expected here comes the right match after long wait and it turns out nothing more than the usual closing thing. Who knows may be A and B could have made a great couple if they have met, before the close button was hit.
Last edited by passat1; August 13,2009 at 8:40am.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 13,2009, 8:44am
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With respect to the title of the thread the most frustrating part is getting matched to people that never respond in any way.

With respect to your example. Most people view MHCS as a black and white issue. If they see something that they feel they don't meet they will close without any discussion to clarify what the was meant.
 
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passat1 is offline passat1 Post #3  August 13,2009, 10:09am
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I agree with you. MHCS seem to me very abstract, to have judgement based on them only. Overall I am not looking for my mirror reflection in the future partner.
Last edited by passat1; August 13,2009 at 1:54pm.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #4  August 13,2009, 10:34am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
With respect to the title of the thread the most frustrating part is getting matched to people that never respond in any way.
When I was a paying member, that ranked right after not getting hardly any matches to begin with.
 
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reenz is offline reenz Post #5  August 13,2009, 10:56am
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For me the frustrating part is not being able to have a 'photos only' option for selecting matches. Most of my matches don't have any photo posted (or some have it set to the last stage of communication).

Another very frustrating part is people who haven't spent the time to even fill out their profile, and just have few word answers. I typically just delete those profiles, but it is such a waste of my time having to delete incomplete profiles. I don't know if the people are planning to come back and fill out their profiles later, of if this is really the time they assume they should spend on their profiles.... as I actually took the time to answer nearly all the questions with at least a few sentences as a response. When I close those matches, I usually just select 'other' as the reason since eharmony doesn't have the option to say "Because you never actually spent the time to fill out your profile". A (nearly) complete profile is a must, especially when I have 90 matches on my page and 70+ of them don't have a picture or aren't filled out. It gives me the headache of having to go through them one by one to close them off, wondering if any of them are actually good people who just haven't gotten around to filling out the profile yet. Unfortunately I can't just let my match page grow to 100+ matches with incomplete profiles, so I have to start deleting matches just to clear some space.

I also have gotten some crazy matches that have things like "1. sex 2. sex 3. sex" when asked for the things they can't live without etc. These people don't sound classy at all or anything like me, so I have no idea how eHarmony feels that we are somehow a good match. It's frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if match.com is a better option as you can at least sort though profiles that have a picture and read through what people say about themselves, rather than having all these incomplete no-photo profiles here on eharmony.

Another suggestion I have for eHarmony is that we should have a greater list of questions to choose from to post on our profile page. Some of the questions I prefer not to answer such as the one about what my best friend knows about me. If I had more options for what I wanted to write about myself on my profile page, that would be really nice, rather than answering trite questions that really don't show who I am as a person.
Last edited by reenz; August 13,2009 at 11:15am.
 
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jet2there is offline jet2there Post #6  August 13,2009, 12:00pm
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I agree with all of the above posts regarding people who never respond. But my biggest pet peeve is being matched, more often than not, with people who do not have pictures. A few times, I've seen a lot of common interests and nice profiles and have asked for pictures, which never end up being posted. Do guys actually expect women to go out and meet someone we've never even seen? In today's world, that isn't even safe! Men, do you go through this a lot too, and what are your throughts?
 
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DeltaKing is offline DeltaKing Post #7  August 13,2009, 4:52pm
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jet2there wrote :
I agree with all of the above posts regarding people who never respond. But my biggest pet peeve is being matched, more often than not, with people who do not have pictures. A few times, I've seen a lot of common interests and nice profiles and have asked for pictures, which never end up being posted. Do guys actually expect women to go out and meet someone we've never even seen? In today's world, that isn't even safe! Men, do you go through this a lot too, and what are your throughts?
I automatically close under the following circumstances:

1 - No photo. I don't read further; I simply close with the "no photos" reason.

2 - If the user's name is an initial, like "J" or "A." Automatically close with "I want to pursue other matches" as the reason.

3 - Anything about an ex boyfriend appears anywhere in the profile. This one should be obvious. "Statements" as the reason.
 
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DeltaKing is offline DeltaKing Post #8  August 13,2009, 5:06pm
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passat1 wrote :
I know that these vary from person to person, and can change from time to time. Lately I consider this to be when a member replies to the communication (as this happens to be the very rare event-ever to get a reply) and midway before reaching the OC phase, decides to hit the close button. I am refering to a pay member, who replies during the not free weekend. Imagine you've been waiting for this moment a long time (as long as 6 months) and when it finally comes, you feel excited,- just to see later within day or 2 the stamp -closed. It seems more like Eharmony does not offer a communication stymulus, they encourage the rejection stymulus more.
One example: match A (with 11 months subscription only 1 month left) got paired with match B (with 1 month subscription, 11 months left). Communication starts and flows good to either stage 2- exchanging must have/ cant stand, or stage 3- exchange of 2 nd questions and the breakdown comes.
At the end is not happyend for both A and B (the chance is 50% that B will experience similar disappointment and situations like A ).
11 months of waiting just as expected here comes the right match after long wait and it turns out nothing more than the usual closing thing. Who knows may be A and B could have made a great couple if they have met, before the close button was hit.
The beauty of guided communication is it's easy for either party to abandon it guilt-free during the process.

This is not a bad thing. For some of us, it's a huge positive.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #9  August 13,2009, 6:37pm
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"It's not the despair. I can handle the despair. It's the hope."
 
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Northern_Guy is offline Northern_Guy Post #10  August 13,2009, 8:24pm
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jet2there wrote :
I agree with all of the above posts regarding people who never respond. But my biggest pet peeve is being matched, more often than not, with people who do not have pictures. A few times, I've seen a lot of common interests and nice profiles and have asked for pictures, which never end up being posted. Do guys actually expect women to go out and meet someone we've never even seen? In today's world, that isn't even safe! Men, do you go through this a lot too, and what are your thoughts?
I am totally frustrated with being matched w/ people w/o photos of themselves... I am getting to feel that the only reason that some people do not have a photo up for others to see is because they are ashamed of how they look; too fat, too old, too bald, too beautiful, too afraid, too whatever!
It is really too bad for them if they are serious about dating... Sooner or later the potential date will see them in real life, and then what?! Especially after spending all the energy and crushing possible expectations...
I think that a true relationship must start out with true honesty!!!
Secondly, I really do not like the eH's SLOW process of getting to know the other person! The steps promote BS'in' around, it can take a month or more before one may actually talk to the other... I think that is WRONG!!! No one can get to know another w/o actually conversing!!!
 
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