How many matches should someone be in open communication with?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
TeKaYo57 is offline TeKaYo57 Post #1  August 10,2009, 3:32pm
TeKaYo57's Avatar

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

I have gotten a lot of matches. I haven't started communicaton with all of them, but I'm at the point where I could be in open communication with 5 different matches. Is this appropriate? Fair? Please offere advice.
 
  Reply With Quote
GypsyWillow is offline GypsyWillow Post #2  August 19,2009, 9:47pm
GypsyWillow's Avatar

Is Extremely Misunderstood

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

California

Posts: 70

See profile

First off what are your intentions? Serious relationship or casual dating? It depends first on that.

If it is serious relationship you are pursuing I would say that it is time to at least meet with them and see if there is a connection and come to a decision, if not close the match and move on.

If you are into casual dating, then I would let your intentions once again be known and casually date.
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  August 20,2009, 2:33am
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,608

See profile

Since internet matching is a numbers game and most of your matches will probably not transpire into anything, 4 or 5 in open communication at any given time will probably result in a long succession of dates until you narrow it down to one. To keep that going until then, you need about 10 to 15 in guided communication at any given time. Most of those will be closed by either you or the other person.

A lot of people aren't comfortable dating or communicating with more than one person at a time so you'll have to go with what suits you the best.

To answer your question, yes, it's appropriate for internet dating. And yes, it's fair. Until you and the other person decide to have an exclusive relationship why wouldn't it be fair?
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 20,2009, 8:58am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

TeKaYo57 wrote :
I have gotten a lot of matches. I haven't started communicaton with all of them, but I'm at the point where I could be in open communication with 5 different matches. Is this appropriate? Fair? Please offere advice.
You should begin Guided Communication with all of your matches that you have any interest in. This means that you don't find a red flag that instantly turns you off to even communicating. Most will be non-paying members so will never communicate.

You should be in Open Communication at any one time with as many matches as you feel comfortable you can keep track of. A good many of your matches that get to OC are likely to poof before ever meeting.

You should try and meet the matches that get that far along as soon as possible because you will never be able to actually know the person until you meet in person.

Until you BOTH agree on being exclusive you should date as many different people as you feel comfortable dating. You should also assume that your match is dating others.
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #5  August 20,2009, 4:00pm
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

Be happy! You can casually meet any number of matches. At some point if things progress with one then you'll need to cut off the others.

An EH match and an EH OC match are NOT marriage contracts!
 
  Reply With Quote
waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #6  August 20,2009, 4:10pm

Unregistered

Joined: Aug 2009

Texas

Posts: 212

See profile

Just one should be enough... unless you're a player
 
  Reply With Quote
notyet is offline notyet Post #7  August 20,2009, 4:46pm
notyet's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 5,276

See profile

just because you are in open communication with a woman and then eventually go and meet her for a cup of coffee does not mean you are in an exclusive relationship.

talk with all the women you like. this game we are all in is at base a numbers game. the more people you talk with and expose yourself to the greater the odds of finding a match. and i defy anyone on here to say otherwise. else we would all be sitting around waiting for fate/god to bring us our partner.

talking to multiple women does not make you a player.

but as you narrow it down- hopefully- obviously you would only date one lady at a time. that really should go without saying.

but talk with and even go on casual dates with as many as you can.

when it is time for exclusivity- you both will know it.

good luck and happy hunting!
 
  Reply With Quote
Teacherman25 is offline Teacherman25 Post #8  August 20,2009, 4:49pm
Teacherman25's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Columbia, SC

Posts: 26

See profile

I always enjoy OC with several people at once. It would seem very frustrating to be in OC with 1 person at a time. Every time you decided to close you would have to possibly wait weeks to begin OC with someone else.
If you feel like you are "not being honest" in a way with one or two that you feel really close to (instant click), then tell them. I throw it in with the whole "why did you join eharmony?" question that everyone asks.
 
  Reply With Quote
Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #9  August 21,2009, 6:51am
Dafearon's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Maryland

Posts: 2,181

See profile

My answer to this question is as many as you can handle. If you can only handle one at a time, then thats all you can handle. I think at my peak, i had 10 OCs going at once. But those OCs usually taper off when i meet them, or one or two decide to poof. It fluctuated.
 
  Reply With Quote
melman is offline melman Post #10  August 21,2009, 7:34am
melman's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 2,944

See profile

If you're looking for a job, and you have several irons in the fire, and you get an interview with one of them, would you cut all the others off right away? Of course not. The same principle applies here. OC is not a committed relationship. Don't imagine that it is.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« What is too short??? | Using eHarmony | Please review my profile! :0) »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
why do so many girls close matches before I even start communication? kgoundan Using eHarmony 26 February 27,2010 6:06am
Matched wanted to meet after starting Open Communication MMingE Using eHarmony 24 October 7,2009 5:28pm
Ever get to open communication... Mayne Using eHarmony 13 August 9,2009 8:04pm
Confused...open communication?! littlev Using eHarmony 3 August 4,2009 6:27am
Open Communication Silverwings Ask a Dating Expert 3 July 26,2009 7:05pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:57pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0