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Nanette Nanette is offline
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PinkFlumingo wrote :
(and I already have a pretty good head on my shoulders - so the DUH! questions irritate me).

I was hoping this side of eHarmony would be more flexible and give members more control in meeting people (with the ability to search out potential mates rather than wait for the matches eHarmony sends me - none of which have been even remotely close to what I am looking for).

I am going back to the bar scene or the shooting range - fewer whiners there!
I agree with most of this. Some of the long drawn out questions (and sometimes the answers) try my patience. I know we cant see our own situations clearly sometimes and we really need the input. I have definitely been there. But the responses that maliciously belittle or that are unnecessarily harsh put me off.

I have written off the idea of meeting someone using these boards, but it was a thought for awhile.

There are a few posters who I LOVE to read: their posts are incredibly insightful and I "walk away" learning something, so I am thankful that those people take the time to post although the posts are sometimes few and far between. I appreciate them nonetheless.

Yeah, bars are sounding real good right about now lol.


Last edited by Nanette; August 10th, 2009 at 09:28 am.
- August 10th, 2009, 09:24 am
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FengShuiBlackBelt FengShuiBlackBelt is offline
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PinkFlumingo wrote :
I see no reason why this forum can't be used to meet people.
I didn't say you couldn't. I said that's not the reason most of us use the forums.

PinkFlumingo wrote :
So what's your problem, Fenshui? As far as the troll comment (I actually had to look up what that meant in the blog world) my experience with trolls is usually its the pot calling the kettle black. I am not a troll - I merely like to shake the common sense tree from time to time.
I was cranky because I didn't get any sleep last night due to an unrelated situation that I don't care to discuss here. To clarify a bit of Internet lore, a person who enters a forum and starts bashing other posters and calling them names (e.g., "whiners" who post "duh" questions) fits the broad definition of a troll.

But never mind all of that. Rather than angry, I am actually on top of the world right now. I met an awesome lady on craigslist, of all places, a few days ago while waiting a month to get past step 1 with any of my eHarmony matches. Hers was the kind of posting I would ordinarily never respond to, but I did for some reason - and boy am I ever glad I did!
- August 10th, 2009, 01:57 pm
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PinkFlumingo PinkFlumingo is offline
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FengShuiBlackBelt wrote :
I didn't say you couldn't. I said that's not the reason most of us use the forums.



I was cranky because I didn't get any sleep last night due to an unrelated situation that I don't care to discuss here. To clarify a bit of Internet lore, a person who enters a forum and starts bashing other posters and calling them names (e.g., "whiners" who post "duh" questions) fits the broad definition of a troll.

But never mind all of that. Rather than angry, I am actually on top of the world right now. I met an awesome lady on craigslist, of all places, a few days ago while waiting a month to get past step 1 with any of my eHarmony matches. Hers was the kind of posting I would ordinarily never respond to, but I did for some reason - and boy am I ever glad I did!
Sorry about your crankiness - we all have those days. And they all pass, thankfully, if we just wait it out.

I am not trying to bash others - the whiners I characterized are from first hand experience. I am just very frustrated with what's available out there. If one more eHarmony match whines to me about his exwife, his bad knees, his boring job, or the lack of follow-up response he gets from dates (after telling me that if we ever are seen in public I have to lie about how we met and that he actually lives somewhere else than his profile says (this really happened)), I will scream. Where are the vibrant individuals who are up for adventure and not falling apart!?

I also do not suffer fools gladly - hence my irritation at the DUH! questions/opinions. I really can't believe some of these questions are real - are there that many people out there who honestly need advice on the oh-so-obvious?

Good luck on the craigslist thing - and be careful! In my area, craigslist ads of that nature tend to either be escort services or booty call type ads.
- August 10th, 2009, 02:20 pm
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meri75 meri75 is offline
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PinkFlumingo wrote :
After surfing and following many many threads on here, it would appear that there are really only 20 or so active people on this entire site. Thoughts?
I've found there to be quite a large number of active profiles on EHA. Some of the EHA groups I joined, there are people there who choose not to write on the main boards. I also think it is possible that due to it being summer on the other side of the world, people who were posting regularly when I joined in EHA in March; now may well be out in their gardens, or nature reserves etc, enjoying the sunshine.
- August 10th, 2009, 03:04 pm
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graceventually graceventually is offline
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I can empathize with the frustration with the repetitive or "duh"-type questions, of which there are quite a few. I've vented at a couple of those folk myself..........but on the other hand, some of them are really hurting and don't know where to turn.

People seem to drop in and out of activity levels here - in just the last week, I've noticed a couple of folks come back and start posting who hadn't been on much in months. It's hard to predict.

In general, I don't think most eHA posters are expecting to find a match here. Some of us are already attached, and some are taking a bit of a break. Personally, I started posting back when I was an eH member to find support and sometimes to vent. But it's been fun to make some online friends along the way .
- August 10th, 2009, 09:35 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is online now
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PinkFlumingo wrote :
I also do not suffer fools gladly - hence my irritation at the DUH! questions/opinions. I really can't believe some of these questions are real - are there that many people out there who honestly need advice on the oh-so-obvious?
I've seen some of your posts to people who have posted what you deem to be "duh" posts. What you claim to be oh-so-obvious is anything but obvious to some people who are confused and hurting when their heart was involved. When in doubt, I prefer to err on the side of treating the poster with respect and dignity rather than a "you can't be serious" remark. There is a real person on the other end of that post... why go out of your way to belittle them?

Besides, there's LOTS of topics on here and you're free to skip over the ones you find too stupid for your consideration.
- August 10th, 2009, 10:03 pm
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PinkFlumingo PinkFlumingo is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
I've seen some of your posts to people who have posted what you deem to be "duh" posts. What you claim to be oh-so-obvious is anything but obvious to some people who are confused and hurting when their heart was involved. When in doubt, I prefer to err on the side of treating the poster with respect and dignity rather than a "you can't be serious" remark. There is a real person on the other end of that post... why go out of your way to belittle them?

Besides, there's LOTS of topics on here and you're free to skip over the ones you find too stupid for your consideration.
Because I believe that if more people were pressed to use their own heads to figure out their own lives, they would be better people. I do not believe in a victim mentality, or coddling people who probably can think for themselves if pushed to do so.

Just my philosophy in life - doesn't mean I don't have a softer side - but in general I guess I am just a tough old broad who has no patience for excessive weakness.

Its probably a flaw but has served me well - and I readily admit that this is probably not the forum for me.
- August 10th, 2009, 10:14 pm
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ThePriestess ThePriestess is online now
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PinkFlumingo wrote :
After surfing and following many many threads on here, it would appear that there are really only 20 or so active people on this entire site. Thoughts?
I'm only here to pick-up chicks.
- August 10th, 2009, 10:25 pm
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PinkFlumingo PinkFlumingo is offline
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ThePriestess wrote :
I'm only here to pick-up chicks.
LOL How's that working out for ya, Priestess?
- August 10th, 2009, 10:29 pm
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vapsman88 vapsman88 is offline
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ThePriestess wrote :
I'm only here to pick-up chicks.
- August 10th, 2009, 10:29 pm
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