regarding eH, does the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy make no sense?


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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #1  August 8,2009, 4:03pm
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is EXTREMELY happy that the Beatles are now on YouTube

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It is sooo easy to believe you will not get to meet anyone on eH if:
1)You do not get that many matches.
and
2) Of the matches you do get most are likely non-payers.
and
3) The few that are most likely payers look at you and either do not answer or close you.

So how can it be a self-fulfilling prophecy, if I say I will not meet anyone on eH?
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #2  August 8,2009, 4:37pm
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I don't know the process you've described in terms of dating people off eH, but with your self-fulfilling prophecy, it will become true outcome depending on your attitude.

People respond to your energy, cultivate that if you don't have much (positive ones that is). and if you do, is there anything that's in your way that you're not showing it? From your post i didn't feel any positive vibe, but that's just me.

I would see it as:

=================
It is sooooo easy to believe you will get to meet someone great on eH:
1. You get matches from time to time
2. some matches are of good quality
3. just waiting for the next good quality person to come to a date
=================
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  August 8,2009, 4:40pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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I absolutely believe in the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies, positive or negative, no matter where you are in life. I believe we are all in control of our destiny.

That's why I prefer to focus on the positive.

I don't think all that negative energy will do you any good.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 8,2009, 6:36pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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As Oddball said "enough with the negative waves"
 
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KittyLu is offline KittyLu Post #5  August 8,2009, 8:22pm
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I don't know if it's a self fulfilling prophecy, but I do think that for most people it is extremely difficult to actually meet someone using e-harmony. It is not a direct way of meeting people. I am totally amazed when I read postings that say the poster has actually meet a few people or even gotten to OC. I got to OC three times in five years. The majority of matches have been closed by either one of us before any communication at all and a few went through the first stage or second only. I was very happy with the last match that went to OC and we emailed, but never met (I wanted to stop). It took five years.

The only thing I think you can do is hang in there and keep tweaking your profile as you go, or even settings, as you go if you think that will help. In my opinion, especially if you are not getting sent matches or the quality of your matches are not good or responsive, it is more cost effective to not continue renewing a paid membership and wait for a special when things look better. I know that some don't like non-paying members but a non paying member will communicate with you on a free weekend and will go for that special if they are really interested. In this economy, it is really not a good use of money to pay for something you are not using. On top of that, I think it is actually a sign of someone who wisely uses their money.

That said, I belonged to another, cheaper dating site (better targeted towards my religion) about 6 years ago and when I go back and search that one again, I see two men I had meetings with - still single and looking. In other words, I think that e-harmony does attract the more serious singles and maybe singles of a higher caliber. E-Harmony is kind of like the lottery, you have to play to win, but many times you come up empty.
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #6  August 8,2009, 9:06pm
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It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

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This is what I really don't get about eH. There are so many people with the very same complaints and who seem to have so much in common (as evident by these boards here) but they aren't matched together in eH.

As far as it being self-fulfilling, I can't say. No matter how positive I stay, I can't telepathically make people pay for a subscriptions so I can get quality matches. Where I do think it's self-fulfilling is my attitude towards the mattaches once I've gotten them.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  August 8,2009, 9:42pm
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KittyLu wrote :
I belonged to another, cheaper dating site ... about 6 years ago and when I go back and search that one again, I see two men I had meetings with - still single and looking. In other words, I think that e-harmony does attract the more serious singles and maybe singles of a higher caliber.
I don't understand how you come to the conclusion that because a couple of men you met years ago on another site are still there that eHarmony attracts more serious and higher caliber singles?!? You have NO way of knowing how long anyone has been on eHarmony, nor can you go back and look to see if someone is still on eHarmony years later.

Does the fact that you're going back and looking 6 years later make you of lower caliber? Many of us have been looking for several years (sometimes with long breaks when we're dating someone) for the right one for us.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  August 8,2009, 9:43pm
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[quote=Gr8Guyn2008;704514]
As Oddball said "enough with the negative waves"




I think we have a movie buff!
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #9  August 8,2009, 9:43pm
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"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are probably right."
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #10  August 8,2009, 9:45pm
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pussinboots wrote :
It is sooo easy to believe you will not get to meet anyone on eH if:
1)You do not get that many matches.
and
2) Of the matches you do get most are likely non-payers.
and
3) The few that are most likely payers look at you and either do not answer or close you.

So how can it be a self-fulfilling prophecy, if I say I will not meet anyone on eH?
It's not. It could only be a self fulfilling prophecy if you were actually meeting women from eHarmony and started off communicating with them with the attitude that it will never work. In this case, you're not even getting to communicate with anyone. eHarmony doesn't work for everyone... it certainly didn't work for me.
 
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