an early sign of desperation or not?


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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #1  August 7,2009, 11:41am
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Does anyone think that if you start Guided Communication as soon as you read a match's profile, the match might consider it a sign of desperation?

I don't, but I don't play games. If you or your match is interested, you or your match is interested.
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #2  August 7,2009, 11:46am
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I agree with you. After all, we paid for EH to find matches, right? If I see a match I like, I start the process. If that's perceived as desperation on the other end, that person probably wouldn't care for my personality anyway!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  August 7,2009, 12:02pm
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yeoww wrote :
I agree with you. After all, we paid for EH to find matches, right? If I see a match I like, I start the process. If that's perceived as desperation on the other end, that person probably wouldn't care for my personality anyway!
I have the same thoughts. Not only do I start communication right away with a match that I find interesting but I also respond right away to any communication from a match.
 
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tirhod is offline tirhod Post #4  August 7,2009, 12:22pm
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I agree with the above, guided communication also seems relatively innocent, although the questions can remain meaningful to some extent. It is more of a springboard to help the communication process begin, probably one of EH's advantages.
 
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laurenashely is offline laurenashely Post #5  August 7,2009, 12:55pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I have the same thoughts. Not only do I start communication right away with a match that I find interesting but I also respond right away to any communication from a match.

Dr. Phil says with online dating a woman should only reply in a "guided communication" setting once a day as not to seem eager or desperate. He also says we should leave all the "opening" of the communication to the men as men like to be hunted and women like to be prey..

Im not saying I AGREE, I'm just quoting him...I honestly havent formed an opionion on how quickly to reply to communication at this point. What do the men think about this? To me it kinda sounds like playing games...but to be honest, this is how I work (just communicate/text/call once or twice a day) in the "real life" dating scene...So why not apply it to online? Well, Im still single so what do I know? Haha.
 
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Shelby is offline Shelby Post #6  August 7,2009, 2:23pm
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If a guy starts GC after reviewing my profile, and initiates the same day or a couple of days after his profile appears in my inbox, I have a positive impression about him (i.e., he's interested, has not put me with the back-burner second-tier matches on his list.)

I, however, would not initiate immediately if I saw a guy's profile that I liked. Why? Because I think that WOMEN are potrayed as desperate when they do. So I usually will wait about a week or so before I consider initiating GC with a guy I'm interested in.

pussinboots wrote :
Does anyone think that if you start Guided Communication as soon as you read a match's profile, the match might consider it a sign of desperation?

I don't, but I don't play games. If you or your match is interested, you or your match is interested.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #7  August 7,2009, 3:07pm
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pussinboots wrote :
Does anyone think that if you start Guided Communication as soon as you read a match's profile, the match might consider it a sign of desperation?

I don't, but I don't play games. If you or your match is interested, you or your match is interested.

I don't think it's a sign of desparation. If you've read the profile and you're interested in the match then start communication. It's better than waiting and then finding out the match is already in another relationship.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #8  August 7,2009, 7:21pm
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Honestly the matches that kept viewing the profile and were either slow or never replied were the ones that bothered me.

The ones that either showed interest or lack of by communicating or closing made the process successful.

Really when people play "games" or jump through all the hoops of when or how...it can mean the difference of your match getting bored, giving up, finding someone else, or even their membership ending. Why take that chance?
 
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FengShuiBlackBelt is offline FengShuiBlackBelt Post #9  August 7,2009, 7:31pm
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Pardon my French, but screw Dr. Phil. If you're timing your communications so as to appear a certain way, you're playing childish games. Period. If you're interested in the match, talk to them.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #10  August 8,2009, 7:00am

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Users wait days, weeks, months waiting for matches. Once one gets a match, why would you wait days, weeks, months to reply? Seems kind of dumb and counterproductive to wait once you got what you were waiting for.
 
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