katt712 is offline katt712 Post #1  August 6,2009, 10:11am
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What's the deal with this "matching" process? I try to check out all my matches (I get 2-3 a day) and now I get passed up ON-LINE. I Know I am a decent guy so where's the "successfully matched" couples at? PLEASE let me know the deal people.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  August 6,2009, 10:55am

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Hi Katt712,

Welcome to eHarmony and eHarmony Advice!

Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling “passed up”. I don’t know how long you’ve been using the service, but you’ll probably hear a range of experiences here. We do have lots and lots of couples who can attest to the service working for them (you might have heard this, but an average of 236 people get married a day through using the service). That doesn’t mean that the people who found someone through the site had an easy time of it, or found someone right away. You might find some solace in this section of our Success Stories page: http://bit.ly/71ALn

There are a number of things that can also help improve your experience. From your description, it sounds like you are initiating communication with your matches, but they aren’t responding? If that’s the case, often you can find the answer in your photos and what you wrote on your About Me page (or in the lack of photos and content on your About Me page).

If you feel comfortable, a lot of members have posted their About Me pages in a topic right here in the Using eHarmony section of eHarmony Advice for other members to give feedback. If you feel comfortable, I’m sure there would be people who would be willing to be “eyes” for you. The good thing is that this is very anonymous, and you’ll get supportive and honest answers.

If you do have photos, you may want to have a trusted friend or family member view them and give you honest feedback. Ask them, for example, if your photos are clear, attractive, and put you in the best light, as well as convey the “real you”. In other words, you don’t want photos that don’t do you justice, but you also don’t want photos that over-flatter you.

Regarding requests to communicate, you may already be using features like the Icebreaker, the Nudge or Fast Track, but I thought I should just mention them. Depending on your match’s preferences using these variations of communication can assure your match that you are interested in getting to know her.

Good luck, Katt712! Hope things improve soon.

~Kate
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  August 6,2009, 11:12am
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[quote=katt712;701278]

I Know I am a decent guy so where's the "successfully matched" couples at?




I recently went to see my Hair Stylist. The weekend prior she attended her cousin's wedding. He had met his wife on eHA. So it can work.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #4  August 6,2009, 11:51am
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It's one of those opportunities like offline dating that takes time. Some people meet a great match right away and others either take awhile or may never do so.

When it starts to bother you...just take some time and try not to see it personally. The person I'm currently dating actually said to me last night that they were so thankful that I "waited" for them in my longterm off and on commitment using eharmony.

Seriously a good match doesn't come around every day but you will get those random ones that are "almost" and the even rarer..."the one".

Also I'll add that my current match that I'm so thrilled with...I would have closed my first 2 years on eharmony. He's 5'7 and I'm 5'8" plus his weight is over the average (50 lbs in either direction of average) that I have dated in the past. So if you really want success...look at what really matters as your dealbreakers...the rest really is unimportant!!!

Good luck with your search!
Last edited by bravethestorm; August 6,2009 at 11:56am.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  August 6,2009, 2:20pm

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[quote=j0hn8andy;701357]
katt712 wrote :

I Know I am a decent guy so where's the "successfully matched" couples at?




I recently went to see my Hair Stylist. The weekend prior she attended her cousin's wedding. He had met his wife on eHA. So it can work.
Wow, that's great, J0hn8andy! Just for clarification -- you're talking about eHarmony's matching service, not eHarmony Advice, right? Although, eHarmony Advice has been known to foster some relationships that blossom into couplehood.

~Kate
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #6  August 6,2009, 5:23pm
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[quote=eH_Advice_Host_Kate;701511][quote=j0hn8andy;701357]

Wow, that's great, J0hn8andy! Just for clarification -- you're talking about eHarmony's matching service, not eHarmony Advice, right? Although, eHarmony Advice has been known to foster some relationships that blossom into couplehood.

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host




I didn't even think to ask. I just assumed it was the Matching. She told me I should give it a try!
 
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