Being asked if I am doing online dating/eHarmony for a long time/first time.


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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #11  August 6,2009, 11:58am
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bclfgrd2 wrote :
They might not realize it's a personal question. To them, it might be a way of breaking the ice, as it's a common-ground for the two of you. In fact, I never would have thought it to be so personal, but looking at it from your perspective, I completely see what you mean.

As for how to respond...that seems harder to say. My first response would be to tell them that it's a personal question for you, but there's no way of telling how they could take that. Ideally, they would respect and appreciate your feelings on it, but one can never tell. Otherwise, you could them a vague response, like "A little while".
Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I always viewed it as a common ground question and not as a question to delve into my dating history. However, maybe the people asking this question do have a reason for asking and maybe there is a right and wrong answer. When ask this question I always ask my match what their experience with eHarmony has been.
bclfgrd2 wrote :
Yes, I understand and addressed that. There could very well be people who ask this question as a way of learning something...but like I said, others might use it as a question just to break the ice.
DancingFool wrote :
I don't really see anything too personal about this question at all. As others have already said, it's just trying to find some common ground and breaking the ice - sharing a common experience.

If you are so uncomfortable talking about it, you can always say something vague and change the topic. I doubt people really have some kind of ulterior motives about learning about your dating history - let's face it - it's an easy question to ask point blank.
yeoww wrote :
I've asked matches this before, figuring it's a common-ground kind of question. I never thought of it as a particularly personal question, so you've given me something to think about. Thanks!
I agree with these folks.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #12  August 6,2009, 6:35pm
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Look at it this way....

There are hundreds (?) of members here at EHA and we love nothing more than discussing... wait for... what else... EH!

It's definitely a "common ground question". (We're not looking for specifics; just long or short time; met a lot of people, few people, no people; liked my matches, didn't like my matches.)
 
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