JennPenn is offline JennPenn Post #1  August 4,2009, 6:27pm
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I'm somewhat tall for a woman (5'9) and would really like to be with someone my height (at the very least) or taller. I don't understand if there is a way to communicate this to eHarmony or not in my settings. I know there is the Height section in "My Settings"--"Nice to Haves" where you can rate how important your match's height is to you. But does anyone understand how that works? If I say this is "Very Important" - what does that mean to eHarmony? Does it mean I want someone around my height? I've had it set to a "5" setting (little more than somewhat important) and 75% of my matches have come back my height or shorter! Any help would be appreciated, thanks!
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  August 5,2009, 2:58pm

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Hi JennPenn,

Good question! The “Nice to Haves” tab informs our system of your preference in the area of height. Although we won’t withhold shorter matches from you, based on your selection of the level of importance, we will give priority to taller matches as they are available.

It’s important to note, however, that more “weight” will always be placed on compatibility + your primary settings (which you will find on the tabs labeled Distance, Personal Preferences, and Background and Beliefs). The height is factored in at a smaller level.

Don’t let this discourage you, JennPenn. First, you may be surprised at your response to a match who isn’t as tall as you’d imagined your ideal to be. Second, I know you’ve probably heard this before, but we say it a lot because it’s very true: it only takes one. Just because you didn’t like the matches you got today doesn’t mean you won’t like the matches tomorrow.

And of course, if you see a deal-breaker on your match’s About Me page, you may want to close the match so he knows that he is free to continue his search.

All the best,

~Kate
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  August 5,2009, 5:53pm
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JennPenn wrote :
I'm somewhat tall for a woman (5'9) and would really like to be with someone my height (at the very least) or taller. I don't understand if there is a way to communicate this to eHarmony or not in my settings. I know there is the Height section in "My Settings"--"Nice to Haves" where you can rate how important your match's height is to you. But does anyone understand how that works? If I say this is "Very Important" - what does that mean to eHarmony? Does it mean I want someone around my height? I've had it set to a "5" setting (little more than somewhat important) and 75% of my matches have come back my height or shorter! Any help would be appreciated, thanks!
The best things come in small packages
 
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LittleJohn is offline LittleJohn Post #4  August 5,2009, 7:21pm
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Why don't you let members pick a preferred height (or height range) for a match as well as the strength of their preference? While most of the tall women I know are looking for tall men, that doesn't mean they all are. I also know several very petite women who prefer tall men - and tall men who prefer petite women.

Assuming that "caring about height" equals "wanting someone my height" seems a little too one size fits all. Horrible pun intended.
 
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Flippa is offline Flippa Post #5  August 22,2009, 12:14am
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I was surprised that height was not a main selection criteria on eHarmony. I am nearly 5'11" and unlike many people my age I am not shrinking at all. I have several close male friends shorter than me, if I chose based on height I would rule out 80% or more of men. I know I have a strong need to have a partner who is taller than me - so I feel a little more normal. I ended up putting a comment in my profile. I do find it intriguing that there is a close option about difference in age but not one for difference in height.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #6  August 22,2009, 5:54pm

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Flippa wrote :
I was surprised that height was not a main selection criteria on eHarmony. I am nearly 5'11" and unlike many people my age I am not shrinking at all. I have several close male friends shorter than me, if I chose based on height I would rule out 80% or more of men. I know I have a strong need to have a partner who is taller than me - so I feel a little more normal. I ended up putting a comment in my profile. I do find it intriguing that there is a close option about difference in age but not one for difference in height.
Dear Flippa,

It is not uncommon for height to be an important preference for a member; however, it is not one of the traits or attributes that have been scientifically proven to predict successful marriages.

If you would like to learn more about the Core Traits and Vital Attributes our matching system uses to match you, click here:
http://www.eharmony.com/why/dimensions

All the best,

-Renee
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #7  August 22,2009, 6:15pm
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LittleJohn wrote :
Why don't you let members pick a preferred height (or height range) for a match as well as the strength of their preference? While most of the tall women I know are looking for tall men, that doesn't mean they all are. I also know several very petite women who prefer tall men - and tall men who prefer petite women.

Assuming that "caring about height" equals "wanting someone my height" seems a little too one size fits all. Horrible pun intended.
Philosophically I would disagree with the idea of playing the height game, but since 'some' people make such an issue about it I'd be happy to see them indulge themselves in their height preoccupation so they'd stop their belly aching.
Last edited by BuzWeaver; August 22,2009 at 6:18pm.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #8  August 22,2009, 8:13pm
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Flippa wrote :
I was surprised that height was not a main selection criteria on eHarmony. I am nearly 5'11" and unlike many people my age I am not shrinking at all. I have several close male friends shorter than me, if I chose based on height I would rule out 80% or more of men. I know I have a strong need to have a partner who is taller than me - so I feel a little more normal. I ended up putting a comment in my profile. I do find it intriguing that there is a close option about difference in age but not one for difference in height.
They do. It's called "I don't feel the chemistry is there."
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #9  August 22,2009, 8:29pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
They do. It's called "I don't feel the chemistry is there."
It's also called "Other," or "I'd rather not say."
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #10  August 22,2009, 10:01pm
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Jenn and Flippa,

If you are new to eHarmony, I would suggest you discontinue immediately. eHarmony proposes to match on personality factors and the like. They do not seem to think that height factors in to personality.

Since height is the A-#1 in your book, you should go to other sites. I know that on Match.com, you can actually elect to hide your profile from those you don't want seeing it. As for the rest of your time on eH, turn off your matches and turn off your auto-renewal subscription and chalk it up as a lesson learned.
 
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