SpookyMulder is offline SpookyMulder Post #1  August 3,2009, 6:08am
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Hello All,

As a very new member of this website, I joined with medium-high hopes (but no expectations) convinced that eharmony could be a legitimate avenue to finding a spouse.

However, my enthusiasm has been somewhat diminished.

I receive somewhere around 6 to 8 matches a day (many that I close for varying reasons of disinterest) but have requested communication with five matches and have left another five "open". These ten seem very exciting and promising. But....

Not only have these matches remained silent, but I have only had 3 profile views since I joined (two of which I can account for and are not from any of the ten I mentioned above). Considering the amount of matches I have had, that seems a bit low.

Searching these boards for similar problems, I am beginning to wonder if these matches are "non-paying" (which would be very disappointing) despite pictures and complete profiles.

Do many of you have a similar problem? Is there any way for us paying members to know who are among us and who are just filling out personality profiles?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 3,2009, 7:02am
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Welcome to the Advice boards.

We all have the same problem with non-paying members and we all complain about it and have been so doing since the beginning of time (or at least the beginning of the Advice boards).

In my experience about 90% of my matches would appear to be non-paying members. I also believe that most non-paying members are non-active. There is no way to tell if a match is a paying member. You can only go by clues that they may be paying members but it is only clues not certainty. The clues are that they view your profile, at least they are active. If they have a Premium Personality Profile and / or RelyID they may be paying members.

You say that you have closed a number of your matches for varying reasons. I would suggest that unless there is a true deal breaker in their profile or that you can tell definitely from their photo that you just find them to be completely unattractive I would suggest that you take a chance and send First Questions. You will never be able to judge "chemistry" until you meet in person and much of what is written in profiles is not what they really are about. I have not met anyone that looked exactly like their photos. Some (most) people just don't photograph well.

Also never send IceBreakers.

Good luck in your search, it takes time and patience.
 
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SpookyMulder is offline SpookyMulder Post #3  August 3,2009, 7:19am
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Appreciate the response. I'll keep all that in mind!
 
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organizedmayhem is offline organizedmayhem Post #4  August 9,2009, 7:48pm
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I'm dealing with the same issue. I think in all fairness to subscribers, we ought to know if our matches are subsribers or "window shoppers." I've sent out the first set of questions to a number of matches and have yet to get a reply from a single one. In fact, the only communication I've received was from a scammer. I guess I had higher expectations for this site as opposed to the free sites I've been on.
 
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