One month on eH: too soon to throw in the towel?


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FengShuiBlackBelt is offline FengShuiBlackBelt Post #1  August 2,2009, 12:30pm
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I have not had an actual conversation with any of my matches since I joined. It's pretty clear that the handful of my matches who are actual paying subscribers are drawing hasty conclusions, perhaps based on my profile photo, without even taking a few seconds to look inside the package. I am baffled as to what exactly is supposed to set these women apart from the sort of women who frequent the free dating sites. As near as I can tell, most women on eH aren't serious enough to invest cold hard cash in pursuing a relationship through this channel.

While I can easily afford to keep paying month after month, there is no indication thus far that throwing good money after bad will bring results. It is very difficult for me to put simple faith in the process. To me, success is based on tangible results, not marketing hype. For example, if I had gotten even a single date in the past month, that would have been more encouraging than absolutely nothing. Then again, there's a chance that I may be overlooking something. So, in fairness, I would like to give you all an opportunity to list some compelling reasons for sticking with eH before I cancel my account.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is online now Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 2,2009, 1:42pm
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Well I don't know that you will find this encouraging or not but... I was on eHarmony for 7 1/2 months before I got to Open Communication with any of my matches. And about 10 months before I got the first date.

You ask what sets the women on eHarmony apart from the women on a free site, quality. To be quite blunt the women I have found on POF have mostly been rather skanky (don't mean to offend any Advice members that are on POF). At least every girl that I have met on eHarmony has been a very quality person even if we were not soulmates.
 
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FengShuiBlackBelt is offline FengShuiBlackBelt Post #3  August 2,2009, 2:01pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
You ask what sets the women on eHarmony apart from the women on a free site, quality. To be quite blunt the women I have found on POF have mostly been rather skanky (don't mean to offend any Advice members that are on POF).
The women on PoF in my area are vapid and frivolous, and have 15 second attention spans. I'd take a skank over that any day. :lol:
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #4  August 2,2009, 7:43pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Well I don't know that you will find this encouraging or not but... I was on eHarmony for 7 1/2 months before I got to Open Communication with any of my matches. And about 10 months before I got the first date.
...
With EH you have to really extend out your time horizons. I average about one date per year.
 
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dradlogan is offline dradlogan Post #5  August 2,2009, 11:08pm
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Maybe they look like it after the an initial contact, perhaps they have more substance and you don't know it yet. And even if they are, there's nothing wrong in spending some good times with some of them. I wouldn't throw the towel too soon.


FengShuiBlackBelt wrote :
The women on PoF in my area are vapid and frivolous, and have 15 second attention spans. I'd take a skank over that any day. :lol:
 
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organizedmayhem is offline organizedmayhem Post #6  August 10,2009, 6:49am
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"The women on POF in my area are vapid and frivolous, and have 15 second attention spans. I'd take a skank over that any day. :lol:
























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Maybe you're in the wrong area, lol. All kidding aside, the guys on POF in my area, and all areas actually, have been pretty shallow and sexually motivated.
 
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Bikshandi is offline Bikshandi Post #7  July 31,2010, 11:35pm
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Personally I prefer EH over other dating websites, even with all the annoying non paying members. I feel that if someone is willing to pay money and has taken the time to fill in the lengthy questionnaire that they are more serious and looking for a long term relationship, whereas the other sites are more suited to people seeking casual relationships.

If you think that people are not responding to you because of your profile photo it would be worth considering posting a new photo that is more flattering, as some people do take looks into consideration when responding to matches.
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #8  July 31,2010, 11:48pm
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Even though I have been a member a much shorter time than you and I have had plenty of interaction from other members, I feel like I am being short changed by E-harmony. They pre-select my matches for me and most of them have nothing in common with me... I paid my money for 6 months so I guess I am sticking with it. I have had a few matches that seem pretty promissing. Still I would like to have a search option and last time online feature.
 
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Lookingandlooking is offline Lookingandlooking Post #9  August 1,2010, 7:06am
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You have to be patient - I have a friend (for real) who was on eH for six years, and has finally found a great woman and they are talking marriage.

The eH matches are better quality than matches on other sites. You might think you have nothing in common, but you never know.

And, if you think your photo is the problem, CHANGE IT! It's not that hard.

If the membership fee isn't a hardship - then stick to eH for awhile. Make sure it's not the ONLY thing you are doing to meet people.

Good luck!
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #10  August 1,2010, 8:45am
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I was on eH for 3 months a couple of years ago and got 2 dates, one of which turned into a 4 month relationship. But... it was a pretty awful one.

Fast forward to this past January - I signed up, figuring I'd give it another 3 months and then be done with it forever. Hardly any communication for 3 weeks, and then I met a great guy and we have been inseparable since. We just moved in together a month ago.

My advice would be to have a female friend take a look at your pic and profile. If you can find someone who is more your type of woman and is in a successful relationship, then that would be the best bet. The suggestions would be more in line with what you want to attract.

Maybe open up your horizons a bit. I know I may come off as bit "vapid and frivolous" until I actually talk to someone. Blonde with a manual labor job... how smart can she be? I heard a lot that my profile didn't portray me well. Personalities don't always translate well to the screen, especially when you're dealing with intelligence or humor.

To be honest, I had a "type" in mind, but when I decided to take a risk and go against that, it was then that I found someone I was truly compatible with.
 
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