lonelygirl0420 is offline lonelygirl0420 Post #1  July 26,2009, 6:53am
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I'm so frustrated, I have matches who communicate with me then stop talking to me all together. I have matches that communicate with me we get to open and all they want to talk about is sex. And still others just look at my profile and never close me out. Even those who get to open stop talking to me too. I haven't had any conversations with anyone whose been in open status with me for like two months. Am I that ugly? sheesh
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  July 26,2009, 7:17am
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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I'm so frustrated, I have matches who communicate with me then stop talking to me all together. I have matches that communicate with me we get to open and all they want to talk about is sex. And still others just look at my profile and never close me out. Even those who get to open stop talking to me too. I haven't had any conversations with anyone whose been in open status with me for like two months. Am I that ugly? sheesh



Well, you're not ugly, I can tell you that! And I'm a woman. Your eyes are beautiful, your hair looks to be your crowning glory.

I'm a firm believer in positive thinking. Positive self-talk.

I believe if you believe in yourself, believe you are beautiful, and believe in your own power, you will project that confidence when you walk down the street, and you will attract to yourself what you want.

So take a good look at yourself. Not just how beautiful you are to look at, but your character---what sets you apart from the crowd, what makes you truly unique. Because in the end, that's what you're really offering, now, isn't it?
 
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hawqeye is offline hawqeye Post #3  July 26,2009, 7:50am
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Talk about a rough couple of weeks.

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Not at all ugly, you are a very attractive person. I would have to read the profile, but I would have probably initiated communication.

Unfortunately the on-line dating world is quite harsh. I too go through with many matches who do not respond to my first communication. Or they will quit in the middle of communication.

I do my personal best to go through all of my matches and not leave them in the "New" state. Either communicate or close is what I do.

And yes I get the same feelings too when it comes to this, it is very normal IMO. Especially when you are in contact with someone and they go poof.

I just try and follow the golden rule, treat others the way you want to be treated! Haha but that got me into an interesting situation also with a recent date!
 
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lonelygirl0420 is offline lonelygirl0420 Post #4  July 26,2009, 7:52am
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is waiting for my one true love

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thank you

i did see where people were showing what they had in their profiles......hey let's give it a shot, please tear my profile apart! lol

1. What are you most passionate about?

I am passionate about finding "the one"! He's out there somewhere I know it. I'm passionate about the music I listen to as I tend to like to talk through songs. I'm passionate about using humor to lighten moods and making people laugh. I'm passionate about being friendly even if the person I'm talking to is a complete stranger.

2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?

1. My Dog(Cena)
2. My Singing voice. I have been able to sing since I could talk and the lord has truly blessed me!
3. My Father. What can I say I was and always will be a daddy's girl. I love my father. We are very close.

3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?

My cousin Kate, because she is a loving caring person. She would give the shirt off her back for someone. She is trying to become a teacher, because she loves children just as much as I do. She is more like a sister to me then my cousin. We both have big hearts!

6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?

Someone who likes to make me laugh, and someone I can be "in love" with. Some one I can share things with, not just opinions but share music and interests. I love hearing "I love you" and being held, touched, and kissed. I especially loved being held very close when things get complicated. I want someone who couldn't live without me. I want someone who doesn't mind pets. Someone who calls me or text me while I'm at work just to say hi and that they were thinking of me. Someone who sends me flowers because they care about me, or for no reason at all.

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?

I am not a shy person by any means. I can start up a conversation with someone new instantly. This is why I am able to make friends so easily.

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?

I'm not looking for a one night stand or a short relationship. I'm looking for "the one". I'm not a one night stand girl.

9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?

Right now? I am usually watching movies on my laptop or tv shows I've downloaded. I go to low places in Lancaster and country line dance every Saturday. I love taking care of my dog and playing with him. I would love to go back down to Rehobeth Beach in Delaware. I would like to buy a summer home in Bower's Beach, Delaware. That's where I have very fond memories when I was a child. There is also a cabin in Maryland that I would love to go back too. I also enjoy camping!

10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"

a. My Dog
b. My friends and family
c. Love
d. My music
e. My laptop

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?

I'm Reading Savage Wind, it's about a white woman and an Native American Chieftain who meet, fall in love, and eventually will get married and have children. It's by Cassie Edwards. I read a lot of her books because the way she describes the deep love that both characters feel is something I want in my own life. When she tells of their embraces and how "he held her close to her muscular chest, sent her blood racing and awakened a need within her." That is something I want to feel.

12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.

She said she couldn't think of anything, lol

13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?

I love a man with a good sense of humor and I myself love making people laugh. I quote movies to get a quick giggle often. I use to be in high school choir and on the high school dance team.

 
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hawqeye is offline hawqeye Post #5  July 26,2009, 8:14am
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Talk about a rough couple of weeks.

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Joined: Jul 2009

Mayville, Wisconsin

Posts: 106

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thank you

i did see where people were showing what they had in their profiles......hey let's give it a shot, please tear my profile apart! lol

1. What are you most passionate about?

I am passionate about finding "the one"! He's out there somewhere I know it. I'm passionate about the music I listen to as I tend to like to talk through songs. I'm passionate about using humor to lighten moods and making people laugh. I'm passionate about being friendly even if the person I'm talking to is a complete stranger.

2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?

1. My Dog(Cena)
2. My Singing voice. I have been able to sing since I could talk and the lord has truly blessed me!
3. My Father. What can I say I was and always will be a daddy's girl. I love my father. We are very close.

3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?

My cousin Kate, because she is a loving caring person. She would give the shirt off her back for someone. She is trying to become a teacher, because she loves children just as much as I do. She is more like a sister to me then my cousin. We both have big hearts!

6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?

Someone who likes to make me laugh, and someone I can be "in love" with. Some one I can share things with, not just opinions but share music and interests. I love hearing "I love you" and being held, touched, and kissed. I especially loved being held very close when things get complicated. I want someone who couldn't live without me. I want someone who doesn't mind pets. Someone who calls me or text me while I'm at work just to say hi and that they were thinking of me. Someone who sends me flowers because they care about me, or for no reason at all.

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?

I am not a shy person by any means. I can start up a conversation with someone new instantly. This is why I am able to make friends so easily.

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?

I'm not looking for a one night stand or a short relationship. I'm looking for "the one". I'm not a one night stand girl.

9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?

Right now? I am usually watching movies on my laptop or tv shows I've downloaded. I go to low places in Lancaster and country line dance every Saturday. I love taking care of my dog and playing with him. I would love to go back down to Rehobeth Beach in Delaware. I would like to buy a summer home in Bower's Beach, Delaware. That's where I have very fond memories when I was a child. There is also a cabin in Maryland that I would love to go back too. I also enjoy camping!

10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"

a. My Dog
b. My friends and family
c. Love
d. My music
e. My laptop

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?

I'm Reading Savage Wind, it's about a white woman and an Native American Chieftain who meet, fall in love, and eventually will get married and have children. It's by Cassie Edwards. I read a lot of her books because the way she describes the deep love that both characters feel is something I want in my own life. When she tells of their embraces and how "he held her close to her muscular chest, sent her blood racing and awakened a need within her." That is something I want to feel.

12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.

She said she couldn't think of anything, lol

13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?

I love a man with a good sense of humor and I myself love making people laugh. I quote movies to get a quick giggle often. I use to be in high school choir and on the high school dance team.


Overall a very good profile, it would have got a communication from me at least

If I had to pick out one thing that really did not fit is in the leisure section (highlighted). Instead of saying you want to move there, explain what you did there, then later on during communications it can be said.

Otherwise you are the first person I saw who actually asked their best friend that question haha!
 
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lonelygirl0420 is offline lonelygirl0420 Post #6  July 26,2009, 8:27am
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tee hee it was funny cause when i asked her she kind of looked at me funny
 
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lonelygirl0420 is offline lonelygirl0420 Post #7  July 26,2009, 8:42am
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hawqeye wrote :
Overall a very good profile, it would have got a communication from me at least

If I had to pick out one thing that really did not fit is in the leisure section (highlighted). Instead of saying you want to move there, explain what you did there, then later on during communications it can be said.

Otherwise you are the first person I saw who actually asked their best friend that question haha!

how's this?
Right now? I am usually watching movies on my laptop or tv shows I've downloaded. I go to low places in Lancaster and country line dance every Saturday. I love taking care of my dog and playing with him. I love Rehobeth Beach, because I use to go down there with my grandmother. I have a lot of fond childhood memories at both Rehobeth Beach and Bower's Beach. I also went to a cabin on the north tip of Maryland with some friend and had so much fun, it's a tradition to go back there. We hiked in the park and went sledding when their was snow.
 
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ZisaGirl is online now ZisaGirl Post #8  July 26,2009, 9:09am
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Gosh, girl, I think your profile is awesome. I couldn't find one word I'd change. And your picture shows an adorable girl!

So, the thing is....be patient. I've had the exact same thing happen, where they close you out right away, or stop in the middle of communicating, or whatever. Read these boards, and you'll find it all over the place.

And try other places to meet guys, either online or IRL (in real life). You don't state your age, but you look pretty young, and I'm sure there are a ton of guys who'd adore you. You only need one!
 
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alng is offline alng Post #9  July 26,2009, 9:16am
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I wonder if I could offer some objectivity. I am a female, so it's from a female perspective. I am known to be a little blunt, but please don't take offense.
The theme of your profile seems to be love, love and then love. It has the underlings of being a clingy person; interestingly enough, even though you seem to be all of the above, you also come off as having your life planned out in solo fashion...where you want to spend time etc. It barely leaves space for a man to fit in.
I am hardly a typical woman, I'll be the first to admit, but it seems to keep men intrigued. I believe your profile should leave men wondering slightly.
You also said that you are funny, and love to make people laugh, but there was absolutely nothing to chuckle about.
You have to lighten up a little- don't tell men all the things they should find out for themselves later on. Though they can appear lazy at times, don't feed into that, if a man is interested then let him do the leg work.

Then you mention 'one night stands' why even bring it up. That should be a non issue really. If you are not that type of girl they will be able to tell. If they mention something inappropriate- that is the time to tell them your feelings on the matter.
I wish I could have written this privately to you, because this is not intended to insult you.
...and yes, you are beautiful!

With regards to them leaving you in open conversation, or stopping it midway- I don't think you should take it personally. I leave all new profiles exactly where they are- new. I do not feel the need to open all profiles and then close them, in fact, the only profiles I close are the ones that close me.
I never open profiles, because I like to pretend I am in the real world where a man gets attracted to me and writes first, because in the real world I do not approach men- it takes away the chase.
Those that close me, I don't take personally- it makes it so much easier to close them. It can seem somwwhat hasty- them closing a profile, but nothing gives me more pleasure than to close them right back- next!

Now if you are communicatiing with someone and they close in the middle of it- that really is what they are supposed to do if they realize they are not interested- they are doing you a favor.
I closed one person like that, and I honestly felt really bad about doing it. I kept imagining how he must feel- since I am such a verbal person and wasn't able to express in detail my explicit reasons for doing so.

With this process here on this site, I think some things get lost in translation a lot. The guided process is so tedious to me even though I prefer fast track, most men prefer guided and seem to communicate that way. I rarely get to see a guy's personality, and then the process takes so long and then when we get to open communication, and they actually write something- not guided, I sometimes see that they have no substance- it feels like such a waste of time. One man literally asked me 'Wassup girl' and my mouth is still open from the impact.
I haven't closed him yet because I was so stunned. I contemplated asking him if that's all he had...not sure that comment is worth my time.

Take this all as an experience- maybe the tone of your writing suggests even more about love in addition to your profile. I would lay off the whole love theme a little bit in the profile.
Show them your personality, and if that doean't get them, then click - next!
Trust me, there are many men out there, who are looking for beautiful funny women.
Wishing you all the best
 
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lonelygirl0420 is offline lonelygirl0420 Post #10  July 26,2009, 9:26am
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alng wrote :
I wonder if I could offer some objectivity. I am a female, so it's from a female perspective. I am known to be a little blunt, but please don't take offense.
The theme of your profile seems to be love, love and then love. It has the underlings of being a clingy person; interestingly enough, even though you seem to be all of the above, you also come off as having your life planned out in solo fashion...where you want to spend time etc. It barely leaves space for a man to fit in.
I am hardly a typical woman, I'll be the first to admit, but it seems to keep men intrigued. I believe your profile should leave men wondering slightly.
You also said that you are funny, and love to make people laugh, but there was absolutely nothing to chuckle about.
You have to lighten up a little- don't tell men all the things they should find out for themselves later on. Though they can appear lazy at times, don't feed into that, if a man is interested then let him do the leg work.

Then you mention 'one night stands' why even bring it up. That should be a non issue really. If you are not that type of girl they will be able to tell. If they mention something inappropriate- that is the time to tell them your feelings on the matter.
I wish I could have written this privately to you, because this is not intended to insult you.
...and yes, you are beautiful!

With regards to them leaving you in open conversation, or stopping it midway- I don't think you should take it personally. I leave all new profiles exactly where they are- new. I do not feel the need to open all profiles and then close them, in fact, the only profiles I close are the ones that close me.
I never open profiles, because I like to pretend I am in the real world where a man gets attracted to me and writes first, because in the real world I do not approach men- it takes away the chase.
Those that close me, I don't take personally- it makes it so much easier to close them. It can seem somwwhat hasty- them closing a profile, but nothing gives me more pleasure than to close them right back- next!

Now if you are communicatiing with someone and they close in the middle of it- that really is what they are supposed to do if they realize they are not interested- they are doing you a favor.
I closed one person like that, and I honestly felt really bad about doing it. I kept imagining how he must feel- since I am such a verbal person and wasn't able to express in detail my explicit reasons for doing so.

With this process here on this site, I think some things get lost in translation a lot. The guided process is so tedious to me even though I prefer fast track, most men prefer guided and seem to communicate that way. I rarely get to see a guy's personality, and then the process takes so long and then when we get to open communication, and they actually write something- not guided, I sometimes see that they have no substance- it feels like such a waste of time. One man literally asked me 'Wassup girl' and my mouth is still open from the impact.
I haven't closed him yet because I was so stunned. I contemplated asking him if that's all he had...not sure that comment is worth my time.

Take this all as an experience- maybe the tone of your writing suggests even more about love in addition to your profile. I would lay off the whole love theme a little bit in the profile.
Show them your personality, and if that doean't get them, then click - next!
Trust me, there are many men out there, who are looking for beautiful funny women.
Wishing you all the best
Not sure how to fix this one: what do i say here?

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
 
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