Does any woman ever respond to ANY match?


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John_W_IV is offline John_W_IV Post #1  July 23,2009, 10:59pm
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I've been a paying member of eHarmony for a while now (since April) and I was a non-paying member for a few months before that.
I am seriously starting to lose my patience with this site, because I actually had more communications to and from matches when I only had a free account! In the 3 MONTHS I have been a paying member, I have only had TWO matches get to open communication! I get plenty of matches, but the vast majority of them are either way to far away, or they NEVER respond to my request to communicate, OR BOTH!
I honestly don't know why NONE of my matches respond. Im nice, Im friendly, Im respectful...Its not like Im a super model, but Im not really lacking in the looks department either.
Im not asking for instantaneous love, or even a fast forming relationship, but I'd like to be able to just TALK to someone! I mean, out of the dozens upon dozens upon dozens of matches I've recieved since I became a paying member, only TWO OF THEM ever responded!
WHAT THE HECK?!
Does anyone else have this problem? Or am I just as cursed in meeting women here as I am in regular everyday life?
 
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Travelchic is offline Travelchic Post #2  July 24,2009, 11:44am
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Have you had your profile reviewed by this discussion board?? I just posted mine and they are tearing me apart but it's what I asked for and although my reasons for posting some info are altruistic and were not intended to be negative the way other people read into it says volumes! Are you smiling in your picture? How many pictures do you have up?
 
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John_W_IV is offline John_W_IV Post #3  July 24,2009, 12:43pm
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I have one picture up, but I think I look ok in it. How do I have my profile reviewed? Do I just copy and paste stuff or do I give a link or what?
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  July 24,2009, 1:07pm
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You are a smart, brave and secure lady with good advice
Travelchic wrote :
Have you had your profile reviewed by this discussion board?? I just posted mine and they are tearing me apart but it's what I asked for and although my reasons for posting some info are altruistic and were not intended to be negative the way other people read into it says volumes! Are you smiling in your picture? How many pictures do you have up?
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #5  July 24,2009, 1:08pm
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John_W_IV wrote :
I have one picture up, but I think I look ok in it. How do I have my profile reviewed? Do I just copy and paste stuff or do I give a link or what?
 
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Travelchic is offline Travelchic Post #6  July 24,2009, 1:28pm
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Wiseman2 wrote :
You are a smart, brave and secure lady with good advice
I think you just gave me the compliment of my life. Thank you.
 
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John_W_IV is offline John_W_IV Post #7  July 24,2009, 10:15pm
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1. What are you most passionate about?
Im very passionate about everything I believe in. If I believe in something, I believe in it very strongly. I don't usually feel "so-so" or "halfway" about things. 2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
1.
2.
3. 3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
My Grandmother, I can't really explain why, she just is. 4. The four things your friends say about you are: Edit
Intelligent
Sweet
Good Listener
Funny
5. What are three of your BEST life-skills? Edit
Finding creative solutions to everyday problems
Being a good friend and companion
Making art and culture an ongoing part of my life
6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Honesty. If you cant be honest with the person your dating, why even bother? 7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
My sense of humor. I'm pretty fun to be around. 8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
My intelligence, I'm pretty smart. 9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
I like reading, and sometimes writing, fiction. I like watching TV and going to the movies, bowling, hanging around the mall... 10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"
a. b. c. d. e. 11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
The last book I read was Brisingr. Its the third book in the Eragon series, and It was really good. 12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
Nothing. I really don't keep secrets. 13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Nothing I can think of... If you want to know more, ask!
 
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howlong is offline howlong Post #8  July 25,2009, 1:16am
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Being completely honest:
1. Profile is too minimalist, I know basically nothing about you
2. Number 7 and 8 make you sound arrogant
3. Using "..."
4. Doesnt sound like you go out much
5. #12 makes it sounds like your life is an open book (Some women might think you share details of bedroom antics to anything) at least this one have some mystery if nothing else
6. In number 10 maybe change it to Computer instead of Computers
7. #3 makes it sound like if you are passionate about who made the most different in your life it wasnt much.
8. Number 9 mention friends in those activities
9. Maybe specify your pets
10. #13 Remove first part of nothing you can think of (especially with such a minimal profile)

My biggest thing is your profile is too short, if I saw this (and it was a womens profile) I would think they either didnt take this seriously, werent a paying member, or didnt know much about themselves
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  July 25,2009, 2:46am
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Agree with above post, Some other thoughts. Here goes:
1) asks what you are passionate about, not if you are passionate
2) Family/ parents, try to sound a little more independent
3) Think of why rather than "can't think"
6) Everyone puts this, true, but very boring, and sounds like you've been burned, not ready to move on.Besides most people don't see themselves as pathological liars, and those who are would lie to you about and say they are honest. This is why this is meaningless.
7) & 8) Reveal in how you write your profile that you are intelligent and have a good sense of humor. Stating so in a blah , brief sentence, actually points to the opposite.
9) Skip starting each sentence with "I like". List some things you enjoy that reveal that you are well rounded.
10) Paints an image of you as a loner on the computer, whose only life is a dog, and a couch potato eating junk. think the women are going to line up for this?
12) & 13) Either say something or don't. Put some effort and creativity into this profile, keep it real and genuine, but think about all that you are and that you have to offer and want to share with a woman.

.
John_W_IV wrote :
1. What are you most passionate about?
Im very passionate about everything I believe in. If I believe in something, I believe in it very strongly. I don't usually feel "so-so" or "halfway" about things. 2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
1.
2.
3. 3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
My Grandmother, I can't really explain why, she just is. 4. The four things your friends say about you are: Edit
Intelligent
Sweet
Good Listener
Funny
5. What are three of your BEST life-skills? Edit
Finding creative solutions to everyday problems
Being a good friend and companion
Making art and culture an ongoing part of my life
6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Honesty. If you cant be honest with the person your dating, why even bother? 7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
My sense of humor. I'm pretty fun to be around. 8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
My intelligence, I'm pretty smart. 9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
I like reading, and sometimes writing, fiction. I like watching TV and going to the movies, bowling, hanging around the mall... 10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"
a. b. c. d. e. 11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
The last book I read was Brisingr. Its the third book in the Eragon series, and It was really good. 12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
Nothing. I really don't keep secrets. 13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
Nothing I can think of... If you want to know more, ask!
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #10  July 25,2009, 3:22am
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I agree with the feedback of the other posters and would like to add:

Question 6
I have two concerns with your response.
~ Spelling mistake, should read: ... the person you're dating... (I'm
female and for some reason, spelling mistakes really, really bug a lot
of women. I can't explain why, I'm sorry.)
~ Ending with '..why even bother?' Wow, reeks of frustration on your part! It also makes me feel that you may be on the lookout for anything which you can construe as lacking honesty. That's a daunting prospect.

Question 8
This is a very unusual response. Perhaps here you would do better to ask yourself why you feel people aren't noticing that you are intelligent?
I would definitely like to encourage you to re-phrase this to either
expand on your statement with an example, or completely change it.

Question 10
I would consider losing the 'junk' in junk food.

Question 11
I have no idea what you wrote! Let me see, do you understand what I read? 'The last book I read was NMS. I believe the author is Indian and it
is about wildcard criteria to conduct successful pattern searching.'

Finally, yes I do respond to all matches who initiate communication with me. I have found to date that if I initiate the communication, no response from the man. I think it is not so different from real life.
 
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