have you turned down friends in eH advice and why?


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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #1  July 19,2009, 11:29pm
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There have been a couple of people I have exchanged more than one [completely friendly] personal message with on eH advice and [I think] oddly enough did not accept me as a friend. I was wondering if you have turned down anyone as a friend - especially after some friendly contact. [Is there maybe a technical problem on some profiles?]
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #2  July 20,2009, 12:56am
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Personally, I've only had one temporary problem with a received request, but we managed to sort it out within 48 hours - I accepted, he disappeared. Problem solved!

I also had some minor technical glitches with my Friend's Request about a month ago, and I've heard some other members may have had some issues also. Might be worth checking this one with the local "Management". They are a very friendly bunch!
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #3  July 20,2009, 2:36am
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How do you know they have turned you down?

If you just didn't get acceptance it can be a glitch. Some profile for whatever reason are not 'accepting' friends. Just kindly tell the person that you have tried to befriend them in the boards and haven't heard an answer and that you were wondering. If the other person is interested they can befriend you.

A long time ago when I started a person and I friended each other and it would no go through for over a month, but most glitches have gone away.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  July 20,2009, 10:23am
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I accept all Friend Requests. There have been quite a few technical glitches with the Friend Request feature.

I think that you are notified when a person accepts your Friend Request and I would presume that they are notified if they decline a Friend Request.

There are one or more people on these boards that will not accept any Friend Requests. Of course they also will not respond to any PMs. They will only post and debate on the public boards.

I have had a couple of people who have accepted my Friend Request and then removed me as a friend.

If you feel that you are on friendly terms with this person through your PM conversations then you may wish to inquire why they have not accepted your Friend Request.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  July 20,2009, 10:54am
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The friends request feature has had troubles in the past and I would wonder if it works reliably. I'll give it a try.
 
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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #6  July 20,2009, 1:39pm
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Everyone has a different way of handling requests. Some accept them all, some accept none.

I accept requests if I have had some contact with the person on the boards or if they send it with a pm introducing themselves and they don't sound stalkerish.

I also frequently clean out my friends list, deleting people that leave or turn out to be different than I originally thought.

I don't reject requests, but usually just don't respond if the person sends no accompanying message. I have photos on my profile and may want to put some of my daughter in there to share with friends. I prefer not to make them public and if I accepted all requests, that would be the same as public to me.
 
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longsocks is offline longsocks Post #7  July 20,2009, 3:46pm
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My account glitches out on friend requests....I don't even know when I get one unless the person sends me a message to let me know or find out why it didn't go through. It seems to work fine the other way and I can send out friend requests to others.

If you've already exchanged a few messages, why not just send them another one and see if they got the request? That way you'll find out if they didn't see it or if they have a reason for not accepting the request.
 
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learningasigo is offline learningasigo Post #8  July 20,2009, 6:49pm
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I recently rejected a friends request - I didn't know that person. I looked through the links of where they had posted recently and saw no connections to what I had been posting. There was no explanation - Reluctantly I hit the X (delete) button. Now if that person and I are posting on the same threads - feel for the moment a connection in one truth or another - or even if that person proves to be an eloquent adversary - at least there's something. I consider it a great compliment if they ask me to be one of their friends.

Another person I deleted. That person didn't do anything to offend me - I just have never heard from that person since the friends request. Didn't ever read anything from him. Never run into him while I'm posting - and the only connection was that he noticed that I was holding a guitar in my profile picture. That's nice - but I had to ask myself: "Is this just a thoughtless thing?" The answer - at least until some possible time in the future was: "Yes".

Maybe I'm weird but I kind of think that friends requests - and accepting or rejecting friends requests should be like the rest of life - refuse to do any thoughtless thing. Refuse to do things just to go along. Refuse to do things merely to avoid being uncomfortable.

Some folks just want to rack up as many friends as they can get. Their friends request are not based on a mutual or unilateral respect from reading something that you wrote - they just want to rack up as many numbers as possible. After awhile you will end up with a list of people that are not really your "friends" at some level - but just a "junk mail list" of sorts.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to do any thoughtless things like that. My friends list will reflect some kind of connection - of one kind or another. It's a small thing but life is made up of small things and that's how I want to live my life.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not "picky" about accepting "friends" - but there should be a reason - an explanation - a common view, some level of admiration of one kind or another - A mutual respect. Without that it's meaningless. Then your friends list is merely a list of strangers who you never actually connected with. What good is that?
Last edited by learningasigo; July 20,2009 at 6:57pm.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #9  July 20,2009, 6:58pm
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I've had one friend request where the guy has nothing filled out in his profile and has not posted anything in these forums. Rather than accept the friend request I sent him an e-mail, asking him to complete his profile so I'd know who my new friend is.

I haven't heard another peep from him.

Nearly everyone who is my friend here has been posting in these threads and/or sent me a separate e-mail.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #10  July 20,2009, 7:41pm
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learningasigo wrote :
... Another person I deleted....
How do you delete a friend on eHA? Not that I want to.... but I don't see a choice or button or anything for doing that anywhere.

Once a friend, always a friend?
 
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