Is it worth it to re-open a match once you've closed it?


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M60W2 is offline M60W2 Post #1  July 10,2009, 10:09pm
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So, I've never re-opened a match and I'm wondering is it worth it? Or better just to keep it closed?
I recently recieved a match I was very interested in. We got through guided communication and only after a few emails in OC he asked for my number so I gave it out. I waited six days for a call or some ttype of response but nothing. He said several times how interested in me he was but actions will speak louder than words... and if I guy is seriously intested he'll find a way to talk to you... So, I closed the match because I know what I'm looking for and I know there are plenty of other fish in the sea. (but even though I have a several other matches I really wanted things to progress at least a little more with this one geez...)
Needless to say, the same day I close the match after not hearing from him for nearly a week(after he said he was "oh so interested in me" several times) he sends me a re-open request.

So, now I'm wondering did I maybe not give it enough time? Should i re-open or just leave it closed?
 
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Mayne is offline Mayne Post #2  July 10,2009, 10:35pm
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M60W2 wrote :
So, I've never re-opened a match and I'm wondering is it worth it? Or better just to keep it closed?
I recently recieved a match I was very interested in. We got through guided communication and only after a few emails in OC he asked for my number so I gave it out. I waited six days for a call or some ttype of response but nothing. He said several times how interested in me he was but actions will speak louder than words... and if I guy is seriously intested he'll find a way to talk to you... So, I closed the match because I know what I'm looking for and I know there are plenty of other fish in the sea. (but even though I have a several other matches I really wanted things to progress at least a little more with this one geez...)
Needless to say, the same day I close the match after not hearing from him for nearly a week(after he said he was "oh so interested in me" several times) he sends me a re-open request.

So, now I'm wondering did I maybe not give it enough time? Should i re-open or just leave it closed?
You have a pretty quick trigger finger? Why not just leave it open and see what happens? Anyway, sure re-open it since it seems that your only reason for closing was that he did not follow-up quickly enough. Of course, if he called you right away, you may have closed him out and posted about the "creepy stalker" who seemed desperate by contacting you so soon. LOL.
 
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M60W2 is offline M60W2 Post #3  July 10,2009, 11:03pm
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lol... yeah I would've thought of him as the creepy stalker type if it had been the next day...
But, don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a call the next day. I thought since his words were insistent about getting to know me so much better he wouldn't call the next day to of course not appear AS the creepy stalker haha..
but nearly a week?- I simply thought he changed his mind and wasn't really that into me and in closing I had no thoughts at all about possibly re-opening until I got the re-open response the same day I closed it.

Oh well, what do I do now... I am interested in him still of course... how long do I wait to re-open?

Also, I read several post already about people who re-opened and regretted it...thats why I am a little hesitant.

Thanks for the help
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #4  July 11,2009, 12:58am
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After trying online dating for a while, I have learned the golden rule - "when in doubt, mash the close button and don't look back".

If I close someone, there was a reason. My gut told me something wasn't right or wasn't working. If someone closes me, there was a reason also.

I don't have time or the desire to play the backburner, string out game. If there is a sincere mutual interest, we will not close eachother out, period. And that's what it is all about, right ? A sincere mutual interest and connection.

If someone closes me out, I don't even respond with "good luck", as I do not want to be re-opened by that same person. Someone re-opening me honestly gives me the creeps.

If I close someone out, I definitely do not have any desire to re-open them. My decisions are final and I move on.

I know some people here such as dlion and others disagree with me on this, but I stand by this philosophy now even more than I ever did.

I recently experimented around by being patient and leaving things open for a while even if I get no response, but it did not work out and I am going back to my old way of listing to my gut and being impatient/intuitive, etc.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  July 11,2009, 5:15am
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Since it seems that the reason that you closed him was slow communication. This should not be a deal breaker if you have not told him that you want frequent communication. What have you got to loose if you re-open, nothing but a few seconds that it takes to re-open. If he continues to exhibit an aloof and not that interested attitude particularly if you tell him that you expect more frequent communication then you can close him and walk away knowing that you tried.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  July 11,2009, 5:17am
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Mayne wrote :
You have a pretty quick trigger finger? Why not just leave it open and see what happens? Anyway, sure re-open it since it seems that your only reason for closing was that he did not follow-up quickly enough. Of course, if he called you right away, you may have closed him out and posted about the "creepy stalker" who seemed desperate by contacting you so soon. LOL.
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #7  July 11,2009, 5:30am
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I guess I'm a little confused why he would bother with a re-open request? He has your phone number -- why not just pick up the phone and give you a call (and that way he has a chance to explain, etc.)

Seems odd to me -- but if this was someone you were truly interested in, what's the harm in re-opening? It's no skin off your back -- the worst that happens is he still doesn't make contact.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  July 11,2009, 5:30am
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I see no reason to open it back up.

He's already got your phone number.

He could call you if he wanted to.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  July 11,2009, 6:25am
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Very good question .....sounds like a game player, waits to call then "re-open" rather than call if there were an interest.............just plain weird
........
blrdancer wrote :
I guess I'm a little confused why he would bother with a re-open request? He has your phone number -- why not just pick up the phone and give you a call????????? (and that way he has a chance to explain, etc.)

Seems odd to me -- but if this was someone you were truly interested in, what's the harm in re-opening? It's no skin off your back -- the worst that happens is he still doesn't make contact.
 
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avinash is offline avinash Post #10  July 11,2009, 6:31am
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When its me, yes, I'm totally worth it
 
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