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booklover85's Avatar

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Here is a scenario I came across today.

I was matched with this decent guy on Thursday. I liked reading his profile and sent him questions. He answered them and sent me a set of questions. He then requested Fast Track. I eagerly accepted as I haven't had much luck with guided communication...
When we got to OC, he quickly handed out his phone number and asked me to text him. I was a little hesitant, but went ahead and texted him. For the next hour, we texted each other back and forth learning about hobbies, jobs, and where we lived. It wasn't until he asked me to send a photo when it all went down hill.
When I sent him a photo, he said I looked cute and innocent while asking if I was innocent. When I told him I was innocent, I wasn't thinking he was talking about sexual experiences.
He said that he wasn't innocent, that he was experienced. Followed by a text of saying if I have ever thought about doing something naughty and if I have ever had fun by myself. I had no clue that this is what I would receive by texting back in forth (especially for only an hour)!!
Once the "sex" topic quickly stopped, he had nothing else to say and contradicted a statement he made earlier about a hobby. 3 texts later and haven't heard from him since.
I feel dumb and embarrassed, and feel like I was "played", like our conversations were a complete joke!!

I will be closing him as this is not the type of guy that I am looking for. I don't mean to ramble on, but just wanted to see if anybody else has entered into a situation like this.
- July 10th, 2009, 08:48 pm
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DDjr's Avatar

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bl85,

Sorry to hear that you got matched up with a loser!

In general the people that are really serious about EH LIKE GC, and don't ask to Fast Track.

Just keep working through the frogs! (Unfortunately that's the only way to make EH work for you.)
- July 10th, 2009, 09:02 pm
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Emmma's Avatar

Emmma is ready for the weekend!

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Wow im sorry That has not happen to me yet.
- July 10th, 2009, 10:10 pm
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avinash's Avatar

avinash is happy.

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My personal rule is while I may agree to fastrack, I never use private emails or phone numbers with the girls i'm matched with for at least the the first month, i've had a few girls send me their email accounts and phone numbers but I tell them that i'm more comfortable with the eHa message system, the ones that stop communicating because of that clearly weren't that interested
- July 11th, 2009, 03:53 am
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Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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I like the GC and will rarely accept a Fast Track. I rarely have girls discussing sex at the beginning of communication.

Your match seems like someone that you should report to eHarmony as he seems to be looking for a sex partner and not a relationship.
- July 11th, 2009, 07:44 am
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becomingsabrina's Avatar

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Hi Booklover
I'm 39yo and have been single for almost 10yrs. More often than not, I find myself in the same type of situation you describe. I dont even take it personal anymore. Many people (men and women) in this day and time choose to conduct themselves in this manner and thinks it's "OK/normal". It doesnt have to be the norm. I applaud your strength of character and your ability to recognize what's not appropriate. Remember many frogs will come by before you find your prince. Dont compromise your standards. One last thought, dont let it discourage you either. There are quality decent people still left, so keep trying!!!
- July 11th, 2009, 08:05 am
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Wow!

When I was with eH, I usually liked doing GC as well. If you're into it, you can get through the whole process pretty quickly. You can use the eH emails for a bit, then go to your own personal emails. A good idea I have seen before is to have a separate email account just for things like this, and DO NOT make the email address your name (JohnSmith@...) or enter your name in Outlook with that account.

Sorry to hear that happened, but at least guys like that usually go away once they realize they're wasting their time. And count yourself lucky - you could have actually gone out with the guy!
- July 11th, 2009, 01:13 pm
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booklover85's Avatar

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I sent him a closing message saying that I am not the person he is looking for and asked him to take me off his phone. When I checked my account later today, I found that he closed me.

Thanks for all the input... I learned a lesson and will probably take the GC route from now on. I have noticed that when I take the GC route with matches it gets to OC in a few days anyways.
- July 11th, 2009, 09:31 pm
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ScottK's Avatar

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Wow!

As a fellow Twin City Minnesotan, I am embarrassed by you getting Matched up to such a jerk!

I think you are going to find that most of the EHarmony guys aren't going to be like that!

Those guys tend to go to the more "One Night Stand" kind of sites like Plenty Of Fish.

I like to believe that a lot of us guys here on EH are looking for more than that, a LTR and hopefully marriage, and be much more respectful to our Matches.

Yeah, I personally think GC works best, plus, its easier to find things in common while getting through it, so when you do get to email, it makes things a lot more personal and interesting.
- July 11th, 2009, 11:18 pm
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DIVINE_DESIGNS7 is happy.

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I'm finding my matches don't check their messages or don't log in often
- July 12th, 2009, 12:02 am
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