By far my number one complaint about E-Harmony


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Fayt916 is offline Fayt916 Post #1  July 9,2009, 1:57pm
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Closed: Other

This the 3rd time I have (stupidly) signed up for eharmony and it's the same every single time. Every single person I get matched up with instantly Closed: Other's me without even communicating with me. Kinda odd for a service that is suppose to match people on 29 different dimensions huh?

BTW I'm not a slob or a loser. I'm a fairly good looking college grad with a decent career.
 
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florabell is offline florabell Post #2  July 9,2009, 2:24pm
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I know how you feel. "I'd rather not say" and "Other" should be removed from the close match choices. These do nothing to help us learn what is not effective about our profiles. I used to think that the only reasonable explanation for choosing 'Other' is that the match finds us to be physically unattractive. However, I have since changed my mind. I think the men are being lazy and not taking the time to find the right reason -just clicking 'Other' because the choice is directly above the 'close match' button. Eharmony should remove these choices, forcing the individual to be more honest. ...sorry guys, women who choose 'other' are just as guilty...
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  July 9,2009, 2:27pm
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Then there are very likely things about your profile that are turning off your potential matches. Everyone gets closed (sometimes a lot), but if you are truly being closed by everyone with whom you are matched, then I suggest a major overhaul of your profile. If you would like some feedback from the community here, just post it in the Using Harmony forum with a request that people review it and give you comments.
 
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Fayt916 is offline Fayt916 Post #4  July 9,2009, 2:34pm
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neardc wrote :
Then there are very likely things about your profile that are turning off your potential matches. Everyone gets closed (sometimes a lot), but if you are truly being closed by everyone with whom you are matched, then I suggest a major overhaul of your profile. If you would like some feedback from the community here, just post it in the Using Harmony forum with a request that people review it and give you comments.
As I said this is my third time joining and I have went through many incarnations of my profile including the wording and pics. I have even gotten advice on here and other sources as to how to fix up my profile. At one time (about a year ago) I had a professional service help me with my profile.

The results never changed. I have come to conclusion that your profile is not really a big factor. Especially in the case with Eharmony since they don't allow you to make long profiles
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  July 9,2009, 2:38pm
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why do you keep joining if it's never worked out for you?
 
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thedarknite is offline thedarknite Post #6  July 9,2009, 2:51pm
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Same for me either I get closed or get match with non-paying members that never respond.
I cant wait til my sub ends this month. 3RD time wasn't a charm for me. Never again. Waste of money.
 
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Jedi_Scout is offline Jedi_Scout Post #7  July 9,2009, 5:25pm
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Do you really want people telling you that they think you are unattractive to them? Part of compatibility is whether you find the other person physically attractive.

Someone checking other is like the person saying: "Your total package is not what I'm looking for in a match." Using "other" is to avoid hurting the feelings of others as well as to cover a broad range of problems with the match.

Where eHarmony could improve is by making sure that rejections are replaced with open matches when you sign in to the site. The way eHarmony currently does things you're wasting your time to see that your six matches for the day have rejected you by the time you have come home from work. Also you begin to hate eHarmony which can't be good for word of mouth.

My problem with eHarmony is in general its matches have been terrible. Part of it is the people who fill out inconsistent profiles (i.e. distance isn't important but it is, height isn't important but it is, they don't have kids but they do, etc.). Part of it also is that eHarmony does not learn from my rejections what I don't want in a match. Lastly, including non-paying members in the matches is a horrible idea. Sure they do it to try to convince new people to sign up but the reality is that it wastes the money of paying customers. Six matches and four are members who can't respond because they're too cheap to buy a membership does not make me feel happy with the service.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #8  July 9,2009, 8:05pm
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Fayt916 wrote :
As I said this is my third time joining and I have went through many incarnations of my profile including the wording and pics. I have even gotten advice on here and other sources as to how to fix up my profile. At one time (about a year ago) I had a professional service help me with my profile.

The results never changed. I have come to conclusion that your profile is not really a big factor. Especially in the case with Eharmony since they don't allow you to make long profiles
Hmmm.... I dunno. The profile (which includes your photos) is the only thing about you that your matches are seeing, so I'm still suspicious that there might be something about it that is turning your matches off (unless you live in a hut with goats or somethng, which I don't think would appeal to most women...).

I just looked back at your past posts and I don't see one where you actually posted your profile and asked for feedback from the community. Others who have done this have found it very helpful. There is also a series of threads started by the eH Administrator (Lori) where people have discussed and given/gotten feedback on responses to the various open-ended profile questions. I suggest that you take a look at those threads as well...
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  July 9,2009, 8:08pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
why do you keep joining if it's never worked out for you?
+1
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  July 9,2009, 8:12pm
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Do you have a photo posted? If not that may be why they are closing. Or maybe it is something in your profile.

If you are as short as me then "Other" means that you are not tall enough.

You need to change your attitude such that when they close it is not about you but about them. When they close without getting to know something about you then they are the one's that have missed out on a good guy. You have just dodged a bullet.
 
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