Guys - if a woman mentions her cats in her profile, do you close?

View Poll Results: Guys - if a woman mentions her cats in her profile, do you close?
Any mention of a cat is an automatic close	9	21.43%
Only if she mentions cat(s) in the plural (more than one cat)	3	7.14%
Only if her overall profile makes her seem like a typical neurotic single female cat owner	12	28.57%
No	19	45.24%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 42. You may not vote on this poll

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JDavid Post #71 July 17,2009, 7:52pm

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Wonderwoman402 wrote :

David - Why does this have to be an either/or question?

Who has said in this thread "If a guy hates cats or is allergic, or phobic, or for whatever reason does not want to be around cats, it's best that he move along and we not even date"? (Post #51)

Does that sound like "either/ or" from the pet lover? Does it?

Wonderwoman402 wrote :

A person can both place human relationships above animals, yet also keep and love animals as pets.

I agree that is possible. I have done that.

At the other extreme, I know a woman who has a sign on her front door that says (literally), "These premises are maintained for the comfort and safety of animals. If you do not like that please go away." Her daughters say that she knows the name of all the animals, but cannot remember the names of her grandchildren.

Most pet owners are somewhere between – some say, "unless you agree to live with animals, keep moving".

Wonderwoman402 wrote :

Not every pet owner places their pets at equal importance with humans, but at the same time most would be offended if a potential mate demanded they get rid of the pet.

I do not speak for anyone other than myself, so I can say with great certainty that I have never and will never ask any potential mate to get rid of their pet.

INSTEAD, I state clearly that I will not pursue a relationship with a person who (as I said earlier) "jumps up and down and screams, 'I love my cats'". That is in reply to the OP.

If one of the first things a woman wants me to know about her is that she loves cats, dogs, hamsters, goldfish, etc --- and doesn't want a man in her life that doesn't love them too – That is NOT the place for me to go.

I react in similar fashion to a woman who advertises that her grandchildren are the most important thing in her life – or her religion. It makes no difference to me that she regards those things as of paramount importance – because "I ain't going there" (will not pursue a relationship) in the presence of any obsession (or intense focus).

Wonderwoman402 wrote :

Pets are not like furniture. They depend on humans for food, care and shelter. Some people, myself included, take that responsibility for them seriously. And there is not always an *excellent* alternative home for a pet.

Whenever I have encountered the need to find a home for a pet (mine or others'), I have managed to actually find them an excellent home. I realize that others may have difficulty or different circumstances or different motivations. However, I do not attempt to make decisions for other people.

Wonderwoman402 wrote :

For example, my 12 year old cat who completely adores me would probably be traumatized into a heart attack if I placed her in another home.

Perhaps. I cannot comment on that situation. When I had an old cat, it couldn't have cared less who fed it. Different strokes.

Wonderwoman402 wrote :

Yet, my life does not revolve around this cat. In fact, I'm away from home right now on business - without my cat! - and she's existing just fine with my housesitter. Yet, as well as she's existing with the housesitter, she will be happier when I return. And you know what? I'll be happy to see her, too.

That seems reasonable enough. If you had your choice (hypothetically) to have an outstanding man / mate anxious to see you upon return – or a cat happy to see you – can you honestly say that you'd rather have the cat?

Would you tell a man (no matter how appealing) to "move along" if he did not care to live with cats?

Is cat tolerance (or love, or whatever) a "deal breaker" in your value system?

Wonderwoman402 wrote :

Right now I don't have a significant other to return home to, but when I do I would expect that they also understand that pets can add joy to your life (which is a far cry from being the focus of your life.)

If pets are not a focus of life, I have no comment. Pets as pets – not placed above human relationships – are not a issue. As indicated repeatedly, I have had cats and dogs, BUT I would not, would NOT, forgo a relationship with an otherwise outstanding woman if she could not tolerate my animal friend. The human relationship would take precedence over the animal relationship.

I do not recommend that anyone attempt to emulate my paths in life – including these decisions.

Wonderwoman402 Post #72 July 18,2009, 12:40am

L'Chayim!

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David - I guess it might boil down to how you define an "outstanding relationship." An outstanding relationship for me will be with someone who wants the WHOLE package that I am... and I am someone who has no plans to relocate, I have two teenagers, I have my own home along with its mortgage, I have a job that requires me to travel a half dozen times a year, I have some crazy relatives, I don't care much for cooking, I have no use for "bully breed" dogs, and I have two cats. I'm also not going to suddenly develop a fondness for camping, fishing or hunting. All of these are different facets of who I am... and an OUTSTANDING MATE for ME will embrace ALL of what is me. If any of those things are a dealbreaker for a potential mate I'd rather know up front before a deep relationship even develops... and yes, we'd both be happier if he just skips over my profile. That doesn't mean animal relationships take precedence over human relationships for me... it simply means I want a relationship with a human who shares this same outlook with me.

Yes, someone who cannot tolerate being around cats would be a dealbreaker for me... and after having a serious relationship with someone with a phobia of cats and other animals I am even more sure of that now than if you'd asked me two years ago. Someone who has issues like that is NOT going to be "outstanding relationship" material for me anyway, so why go there?

There are plenty of fish in this big ol' sea, and I want one who is compatible with me... ALL of me. And that just happens to include the fact that I have a couple of cats, and will probably always have a couple of cats. There are lots of outstanding people who love, like or at least don't mind cats... I'm sure I'll stumble upon one who's just right for me in that aspect as well as all the others.

You keep phrasing this as an "outstanding human relationship" OR animals choice... I'm saying you can have BOTH... and I intend to.

Wonderwoman402 Post #73 July 18,2009, 12:54am

L'Chayim!

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My comments added in red.

JDavid wrote :

If one of the first things a woman wants me to know about her is that she loves cats, dogs, hamsters, goldfish, etc --- and doesn't want a man in her life that doesn't love them too – That is NOT the place for me to go.

It's good that you know that about yourself, and it is best that you pass her by as... as you would say... she won't be that "outstanding relationship" you're looking for. Just as I know about myself that I want someone who either loves, likes or at least tolerates cats and that someone who doesn't will not be an "outstanding relationship" for me.

That seems reasonable enough. If you had your choice (hypothetically) to have an outstanding man / mate anxious to see you upon return – or a cat happy to see you – can you honestly say that you'd rather have the cat?

I want both... and I know that is perfectly possible. I'm not going to make that either/or choice you keep bringing up, even hypothetically.

Would you tell a man (no matter how appealing) to "move along" if he did not care to live with cats?

Yes.

Is cat tolerance (or love, or whatever) a "deal breaker" in your value system?

Yes. And yet, that does NOT mean I'm obsessed with my cats or they are the sole focus of my life. I actually have many dealbreakers in my value system, pretty much all borne from experience. I know what I want AND what I don't want, probably much the same as you do... we just have different lists.

I do not recommend that anyone attempt to emulate my paths in life – including these decisions.

I feel the same way.

tigerlilyplay6 Post #74 July 20,2009, 4:19pm

Dating is a rollercoaster enjoy the ride

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Hi,

I feel like I missed something. However, if you have a great dislike or allergy to felines close that person out and wish them well!

MarkInAustin Post #75 July 21,2009, 11:18am

took this picture while scuba diving in the Philippines

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