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View Poll Results: Guys - if a woman mentions her cats in her profile, do you close?
Any mention of a cat is an automatic close 8 20.00%
Only if she mentions cat(s) in the plural (more than one cat) 3 7.50%
Only if her overall profile makes her seem like a typical neurotic single female cat owner 12 30.00%
No 18 45.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is online now
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JDavid wrote :
I ask again my question from post #41, Would you really prefer to have relations with pets rather than to have an outstanding relationship with a human mate?

Many women indicate that their pets "love" them and never let them down. My reaction is, "If that is the level of a love relationship that you seek, that is the level you will be likely to find". I prefer a mature human love relationship (with a woman who agrees).

A point of clarification: I have no objection to a woman having a cat or dog. HOWEVER, if one of the first things she does is to jump up and down waving her arms and screaming "I love my cats", I am unlikely to be interested in pursuing a relationship with her. Women I find interesting have more important issues than dogs and cats as the first thing on their minds to open discussion (or to describe their interests).
I believe it is completely possible to have an outstanding relationship with someone who also has the same pet preferences as I do. It is not an "either pets or outstanding human relationship" choice or question. I believe you can have both.

I am not interested in people who are fanatics about sports, or obsessed with their car, etc. Obsession of any kind is not usually an attractive quality in a person, pets included.

I do not view my cats as disposable if someone who's interested in me doesn't like them, and people who see pets as disposable are very likely not compatible with me in other areas of life.

My pets are not the main focus of my life, but they are part of my life and they are part of the package deal. If a guy hates cats or is allergic, or phobic, or for whatever reason does not want to be around cats, it's best that he move along and we not even date. By pursuing an "outstanding relationship" with someone that doesn't fully fit my life, I am denying myself the opportunity to pursue an "outstanding relationship" with someone who really does fit me (and me fit him).
Last edited by Wonderwoman402; July 14th, 2009 at 06:07 pm. Reason: typo
- July 14th, 2009, 06:05 pm
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JDavid JDavid is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
what if she's a veterinarian?
It would make no difference to me if she is a veterinarian or the Queen of Sheba. If the most important issue she wishes to discuss with me or tell me about herself is her relationship with animals, I am not interested in her as a partner (or likely her as a person).

JDavid wrote :
I have no objection to a woman having a cat or dog. HOWEVER, if one of the first things she does is to jump up and down waving her arms and screaming "I love my cats", I am unlikely to be interested in pursuing a relationship with her. I prefer a mature human love relationship (with a woman who agrees).
Is that position somehow difficult to understand?

JDavid wrote :
I ask again my question from post #41, Would you really prefer to have relations with pets rather than to have an outstanding relationship with a human mate?
- July 14th, 2009, 06:47 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 and i found out where my edge is and it bleeds into where you resist

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but if she is a vet, cats and dogs is going to be the conversation at dinner- it's her job. just like whatever it is you do is your job. and thats part of what people talk about.
Last edited by scarlet13; July 14th, 2009 at 07:04 pm.
- July 14th, 2009, 07:00 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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JDavid wrote :
I do not close any eHarmony "matches" because I do not accept any.
so you are one of those non paying members that everyone complains about?
Last edited by scarlet13; July 14th, 2009 at 07:21 pm. Reason: duh
- July 14th, 2009, 07:19 pm
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Snick8699 Snick8699 is offline
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Seriously.....if you're allergic, I completely and totally understand. But come on, sharing my life with a cat is a far cry from becoming a crazy cat lady. In which case, I'd be CRAZY and my cats are the least of your concerns.
- July 14th, 2009, 07:29 pm
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JDavid JDavid is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
but if she is a vet, cats and dogs is going to be the conversation at dinner- it's her job. just like whatever it is you do is your job. and thats part of what people talk about.
And, if she is a gynecologist what do we talk about over dinner? If she is a meter reader, is that what our conversations can be expected to focus upon?

I am not interested in talking shop. If her job is the limit of her conversational ability, she is a dud as far as I am concerned. I expect a woman to be conversant in a wide range of subjects. Is that too much to expect?

It has been thirty years since I had, wanted or needed a job. My life is not centered upon employment or production of income. I do a great deal of volunteer work; however, that is not an "over dinner" subject unless someone asks.

scarlet13 wrote :
so you are one of those non paying members that everyone complains about?
I am not a member of eHarmony dating service (paying or non-paying). I do not accept any "matches" – and have clearly stated that repeatedly. If any information about me has been sent to anyone, that is decidedly a problem created by the administration of the site – and will receive no response from me.

I am a member of eHarmony ADVICE forums.

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
I believe it is completely possible to have an outstanding relationship with someone who also has the same pet preferences as I do. It is not an "either pets or outstanding human relationship" choice or question. I believe you can have both.
I agree – provided that you find a person who shares your position AND offers everything (or most things) that you value.

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
I am not interested in people who are fanatics about sports, or obsessed with their car, etc. Obsession of any kind is not usually an attractive quality in a person, pets included.
I agree – and include obsession with animals, religion and grandchildren. By doing so I eliminate what appears to be about 99% of "older" women – particularly if I include preference to active lifestyle rather than sedentary and preference for avoiding commercial entertainment.

However, I do not complain about a lack of appropriate women or about people not pursuing communication (and do not attempt to blame age as is so common a complaint in these threads).

Snick8699 wrote :
Seriously.....if you're allergic, I completely and totally understand. But come on, sharing my life with a cat is a far cry from becoming a crazy cat lady. In which case, I'd be CRAZY and my cats are the least of your concerns.
Can you understand that a person might not wish to share their life with a cat – and may not respond to a "match" (or relationship) with you for that reason?

Is it possible that men that you would find very appealing will pass you by if you identify cats as one of your major interests or topics of conversation (and lead with such in profile)?
- July 14th, 2009, 09:13 pm
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I have had a cat as a pet all my life, since I was a little boy. I think they are so cute, mini tigers that you can love. My cat actually fetches and brings what ever you throw back to you and drops it in front of you or on your lap and BOOM, after it again once you throw it. She will jump from anywhere to fetch. You want to get her out from that corner, throw her mouse. I have not met a cat that has not liked me yet, I think they can sense cat lovers. My gfs cat is very shy and she said I am the first person her cat has let pet her so soon and has not gone to hide. She now greets me everytime I go over.
- July 14th, 2009, 09:31 pm
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JDavid JDavid is offline
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I have had a couple neat cats in my life and two outstanding obedience trained working dogs. I cared for those animals and was very upset when they died of natural causes or were killed accidentally.

HOWEVER, if I had been single and looking for a mate and if a wonderful woman had come into my life, I would NOT have told her to "keep moving" if she could not tolerate the animal. Instead, I would have found an excellent (not "good") home for the animal and made an excellent (not "good") life with her.

In other words, I would place far greater importance on my relationship with a human female than I would on my relationship with a cat or dog.

Perhaps that is one reason I have shared life with exceptional women – I regard my partner as primary -- above all other things.

AND, this is why I will have another exceptional partner.

Priorities.
- July 15th, 2009, 05:54 am
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i think it's really a rotten thing to rehome an animal because you're SO doesn't like it. personally, i'm not going to be compatible with someone who doesn't like animals anyway.

*shrug
- July 15th, 2009, 06:35 am
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I am more likely to respond to a woman's profile with a pet (dog or cat). An investment in a pet to shows a willingness share something more of themselves in life.
- July 15th, 2009, 11:40 am
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