Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,287

See profile

All

I have this in my profile for number 1.

"A strong family life leads the way followed by good friendships.

It is important that my match be as dedicated to building a strong long term relationship as I. Be an equal partner in building the relationship. Will communicate their feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, I can't read minds and my crystal ball is broken. Hopefully the ultimate goal will be marriage.

There are also many other things I care about."

Give me your opinions. Is it too strong? Should I say something differently?

TIA
- July 4th, 2009, 12:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
wordwoman wordwoman is offline
wordwoman's Avatar

wordwoman is in contemplation

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 221

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
"A strong family life leads the way followed by good friendships.

It is important that my match be as dedicated to building a strong long term relationship as I. Be an equal partner in building the relationship. Will communicate their feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, I can't read minds and my crystal ball is broken. Hopefully the ultimate goal will be marriage.

There are also many other things I care about."
You have a crystal ball, I'm impressed. Why not send it out for repair?

On the real: One nitpick: It should be "her" not "their."
- July 4th, 2009, 01:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
j0hn8andy's Avatar

j0hn8andy .....Take off the Rings.....That's the Goal.....

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 925

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
All

I have this in my profile for number 1.

"A strong family life leads the way followed by good friendships.

It is important that my match be as dedicated to building a strong long term relationship as I. Be an equal partner in building the relationship. Will communicate their feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, I can't read minds and my crystal ball is broken. Hopefully the ultimate goal will be marriage.

There are also many other things I care about."

Give me your opinions. Is it too strong? Should I say something differently?

TIA



To me, it sounds a little...stilted.

The strong family life, good friendships OK. The ultimate goal of marriage lets them know you are serious. So far, so good!

The next part doesn't do it for me. I would assume anybody here wants to build a strong long-term relationship. I also assume they will be equal & will make an honest attempt at communication.

Reading minds & crystal balls? To be honest, it's probably fair to say that every woman has heard that from some man at some point in their life. Usually in the midst of an argument...

I'm sure you have your reasons for saying it, but I really don't think she wants to hear it here. Not when she's looking at you with potential.

The many other things, unless enumerated, are of little help.



Here's mine:
Being surrounded by art I love.
Creating a beautiful home wherever I am.
Travel for that sense of adventure.

But I don't even have my Matches turned on. What the heck do I know?
- July 4th, 2009, 01:59 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is offline
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 10,914

See profile

It’s the women’s feedback you need, but here are my thoughts:

“Be an equal partner in building the relationship. Will communicate their feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly,”

I do not favor profiles which have in them a list of requirements for the match to meet. It sounds like bitterness and unresolved baggage from past relationships. I prefer to see profiles where she is presenting herself in a positive manner, by using the tone of her communication to convey her emotional health and readiness for a romantic relationship.

You can communicate this same idea without sounding like you’re describing what was missing in your prior relationships by rewriting this so it is instead in first-person voice and presented as favorable characteristics you possess.

Here you are looking for a list of things which everyone ought to have. I favor a profile tone which assumes all matches will possess these fundamental prerequisites, and therefore the actual words in the profile can be used to describe you in a way which will induce specific matches to want to get to know more about you.

“I can't read minds and my crystal ball is broken.”

This sounds negative to me … again, baggage.

“There are also many other things I care about”

Trite. How many profiles have you seen where a woman wrote “I’ll tell you later,” or “become my friend and find out?”

Just describe some core values and goals you have in a positive way; do not give in to the urge to have an exhaustive list … it isn’t a resume.
- July 4th, 2009, 02:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,848

See profile

Hi Gr8Guy,
I'm going to apologize right from the start to get it over with - I'm going to be a little blunt, but I'm only trying to help here

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
"A strong family life leads the way followed by good friendships.

It is important that my match be as dedicated to building a strong long term relationship as I.
I like the opener. It conveys your strong family values and appreciation of important people in your life.

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Be an equal partner in building the relationship. Will communicate their feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, I can't read minds and my crystal ball is broken. Hopefully the ultimate goal will be marriage.
This part is probematic for me. I don't mean to sound too emotional, but the purpose of the profile is to convery information as well as emotion. You do well with information. But the emotion I'm getting is disillusionment and some bitterness based on past experiences. And the last thing I want to do is battle and balance out the effects of your past relationships, not right from the start. I would personally close based on this.

How about rephrasing slightly, something like

I'd love to have a crystal ball to read minds, but unfortunately it's been broken for a while now. So, I'd like to meet a lady, who will communicate her feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, be my equal partner in building our relationship over time, with a shared ultimate goal of marriage.

I tried to use your own words for the most part. But it sounds a little warmer and less bitter.

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
There are also many other things I care about."
I like this part. But I would add something like "and I would love to share them with you when we meet" -

adds a little intrigue, which can never hurt, and makes it a little more personal to your reader.

Hope this is of some assistance to you.

Good luck! You sound like a Gr8Guy even n2009 to me
- July 4th, 2009, 02:58 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

BuddhaLite BuddhaLite is offline
BuddhaLite's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 20

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
All

I have this in my profile for number 1.

"A strong family life leads the way followed by good friendships.

It is important that my match be as dedicated to building a strong long term relationship as I. Be an equal partner in building the relationship. Will communicate their feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, I can't read minds and my crystal ball is broken. Hopefully the ultimate goal will be marriage.

There are also many other things I care about."

Give me your opinions. Is it too strong? Should I say something differently?

TIA
Isn't this what the must haves / can't stands part of communication is for?
- July 4th, 2009, 07:04 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,287

See profile

IcecreamMoon thanks for the re-write I think I like it. I was feeling that I was not properly conveying what I wanted.
- July 4th, 2009, 07:25 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,287

See profile

IcecreamMoon wrote :
Hi Gr8Guy,
I'm going to apologize right from the start to get it over with - I'm going to be a little blunt, but I'm only trying to help here



I like the opener. It conveys your strong family values and appreciation of important people in your life.



This part is probematic for me. I don't mean to sound too emotional, but the purpose of the profile is to convery information as well as emotion. You do well with information. But the emotion I'm getting is disillusionment and some bitterness based on past experiences. And the last thing I want to do is battle and balance out the effects of your past relationships, not right from the start. I would personally close based on this.

How about rephrasing slightly, something like

I'd love to have a crystal ball to read minds, but unfortunately it's been broken for a while now. So, I'd like to meet a lady, who will communicate her feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, be my equal partner in building our relationship over time, with a shared ultimate goal of marriage.

I tried to use your own words for the most part. But it sounds a little warmer and less bitter.



I like this part. But I would add something like "and I would love to share them with you when we meet" -

adds a little intrigue, which can never hurt, and makes it a little more personal to your reader.

Hope this is of some assistance to you.

Good luck! You sound like a Gr8Guy even n2009 to me
BuddhaLite wrote :
Isn't this what the must haves / can't stands part of communication is for?
The MHCS section only allows you to select from eHarmony's canned choices. And in my experience the fastest way to get closed out is to put anything other than the most benign choices in your MHCS.
- July 4th, 2009, 07:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,287

See profile

- July 4th, 2009, 08:16 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,287

See profile

OK here is the re-write, see if I am taking the negative edge off and getting closer to something that will work:

"A strong family life leads the way followed by good friendships.

It is important that my match be as dedicated to building a strong long term relationship as I. I'd love to have a crystal ball or read minds, but sadly no crystal ball and can't read minds So, I'd like to meet a lady, who will communicate her feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly, be my equal partner in building our relationship over time, hopefully with a shared ultimate goal of marriage..

There are also many other things I care about and I would love to share them with you when we meet."

TIA
- July 4th, 2009, 08:38 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« No picture weigh-in | Array | Why constantly 'view' my profile but not communicate for days at a time? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
eHarmony Profile Workshop: Question 8: "What's The One Thing People Don't Notice About You...?" eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 34 November 13th, 2009 05:42 pm
What NOT to say in my "About Me" Profile SarcasticInSeattle Using eHarmony 22 September 27th, 2009 11:55 am
Help! Is my profile bad, bland, or coma inducing? CorporateMofo Using eHarmony 36 September 4th, 2009 09:44 pm
New Matches Not Viewing My Profile PrettyPeepers Using eHarmony 19 July 13th, 2009 09:49 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Lest we have forgotten it the crux of the OP:First ambiguous problem- met online... saw posting and set up a date or EH GC for a month then OC for another month?Second: I could hardly believe they ... ” – my5cents

Join the “Does a woman's financial well being, profession, and wage matter to the men?” discussion

“There's no such thing as "important dates." Treat someone in a way which is sustainable forever. I don't now, and surely never will, remember "dates." What's unsustainable about remembering ... ” – meri75

Join the “How "date oriented" (anniversaries, birthdays, etc) are you?” discussion

“ It has been 5 days since she didn't respond to my last e-mail. If my Saturday date doesn't go well I will probably e-mail her... but I figure after 5 days the match is dead.” – mikeinor

Join the “Does self employeed = dead beat?” discussion

“ Do I have horns sticking out of my head that I'm unaware of??? lol Who wouldn't like a hug-able, fuzzy, cute, panda? I would!!” – PY_2

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion

“Heres a News Flash from a former official Phone Company Employee.The phone cops will not get after you if you don't answer your phone immediately (as in when driving). Likewise the Text cops would ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Has Texting Become the Scourge of the Dating World?” discussion

“ No one has responsibility for abuse except the person committing it. No one is arguing against the idea that she could use some help taking care of herself in this situation and in any ... ” – littlebluemonkeymind

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“ Was there a party I missed tonight? I thought only 2 were on the schedule! Did you miss me? ” – VB_Girl

Join the “Gimme some Friday Night Roll Call !!!!” discussion

“I think this is more of a chick question. Not a single male friend of mine ever obsessed because "she won't let me call her______." Or "I want to get married but she won't commit." I know I'll get ... ” – roguewolf1

Join the “Relationship "labels" - how important are they to you?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:36 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0