A little profile help please.


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Zev is offline Zev Post #11  July 4,2009, 7:52pm
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When you say "number 1" do you mean the question about your passions?

If I read that I'd wonder why you spend so much space on the communication piece and so little on what other things you care about, which would be important to me.

You could just say: "I would like to create a solid long term relationship built on honest and open communication between us" and then list what other things you care about.

Even in your amended piece (which is better) the crystal ball thing sounds like baggage.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #12  July 4,2009, 10:04pm
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My main question is, why do you have this as your response to the first question (which asks about your passions) instead of to the question about what you are looking for in a partner? To me, this would seem an odd sort of response to the passions question if I saw it in one of my matches.... I think it's okay to be passionate about finding a relationship, but this isn't the place to talk about the person you are looking for.

Basically, I don't feel that I've learned anything about you after reading your response, other than the fact that you want to find a relationship (which is true of the vast majority of people using eH). It doesn't make you stand out or seem unique in any way.

With respect to the rewritten text, I would find the punctuation/grammar errors distracting, so be sure to clean it up if you decide to go with some variation of that.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #13  July 5,2009, 10:59am
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neardc wrote :
My main question is, why do you have this as your response to the first question (which asks about your passions) instead of to the question about what you are looking for in a partner? To me, this would seem an odd sort of response to the passions question if I saw it in one of my matches.... I think it's okay to be passionate about finding a relationship, but this isn't the place to talk about the person you are looking for.

Basically, I don't feel that I've learned anything about you after reading your response, other than the fact that you want to find a relationship (which is true of the vast majority of people using eH). It doesn't make you stand out or seem unique in any way.

With respect to the rewritten text, I would find the punctuation/grammar errors distracting, so be sure to clean it up if you decide to go with some variation of that.
Curious the English experts only found one errant period in the whole piece. Oh but you are a writer my mistake.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #14  July 5,2009, 12:52pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Curious the English experts only found one errant period in the whole piece. Oh but you are a writer my mistake.
Seriously; I was just trying to be helpful. You asked for feedback so I was giving mine. Take it or leave it...
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #15  July 5,2009, 2:54pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
IcecreamMoon thanks for the re-write I think I like it. I was feeling that I was not properly conveying what I wanted.
Aways a pleasure, Gr8Guy!
Even though you are just a man after all, who apparantly speaks Manese, and can never identify a compliment paid in Womanese
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #16  July 5,2009, 3:02pm
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neardc wrote :
Seriously; I was just trying to be helpful. You asked for feedback so I was giving mine. Take it or leave it...
Finally, my chance to disagree with NearDC!

Not that I'm going to, not really... It's just that my personal writing style is something akin to ramblings of a lunatic (note Moon in the name, you already know about ice cream ). I can write a whole page in one sentence. Using punctuation gives me a sense of timing and prevents me (and my writing) from becoming a complete and utter lunatic

But on a serious note, this is largely the reason why I don't usually like to advise on profiles, even though it's right up my alley. The profile should represent the person behind it, not my lunacy. I just saw an injustice in the making here, because I really didn't think the original represented Gr8Guy and his values accurately. So I was only trying to help, just like you.

And we are in total balance of agreement past disagreement again, which is always nice to have around here
 
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