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Skyking6976 Skyking6976 is offline
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I have listed as a CS that I can't stand a woman who doesn't enjoy sex on a regular basis and I'm thinking about just removing it. When you women see this listed do you see it negatively? I'm talking about women 40 years old up to mid-50's.

I didn't get married until my mid-30's and we had a great marriage for the 10 years she was with us. A big part of that successful marriage was the passion never died like it usually does after a year or so. It actually got better, so that is what I'm trying to express in my CS.

In part I'm asking your opinion because a match that I just closed out sent me the following question after receiving my MHCS and it kinda hurt my feelings but I wondered if all women feel this way and just don't say anything:

I see you want a faithful woman, who loves sex, and only has eyes for you, huh?
- July 3rd, 2009, 05:36 pm
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jmc1951 jmc1951 is offline
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Hi: Remember first impressions are everything. I would close you out if I saw that CS and I am a physically warm and very loving woman. My creep factor antennae would go way up. Most women view sex as a natural concommitent of a good relationship but all of us are cognizant of how dangerous some men can be and that we are online where deception is rampant. Your interest in determining how some of us might think is to your credit and you do need to be honest about yourself. A somewhat more conservative approach would be to look carefully at her reply to the 'how affectionate are you' query and tone down your CS. On the other hand if you leave it alone you will match with a group with interests similar to yours or to those who choose to ignore red flags. I couldn't predict what that subclass of females may be like psychologically so you should let us know how it goes
- July 3rd, 2009, 06:22 pm
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qqtpie qqtpie is offline
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I get that CS from lots of guys. I would just blow past it as a, "well duh" but I feel that way too. My last BF never wanted it. It's important. I think it's 1/3 of an entire relationship.
- July 3rd, 2009, 07:43 pm
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chrlesmd chrlesmd is offline
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Probably depends on the woman, but there's nothing wrong with being up front about what you're looking for.

Don't let it bother you. People close out matches for all sorts of reasons and it may have just been her.
- July 3rd, 2009, 07:56 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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If it's important to you, you should leave it there. There is no need to justify.

What I can't understand is why would you close that woman, or take it as an insult. Her statement just summarized your entire post. I don't think it was meant as an attack. I can imagine myself saying exactly the same thing, and it would have all the positive connotations in the world because I'm looking for exactly the same.

I would pursue that woman, if I were you. But if it doesn't work out, you can always pm me
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:02 pm
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pamcam pamcam is offline
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That is one of my can't stands, so I'm happy when it's also my matches CS's.

I interpreted her question as positive and as opening the door to further communication.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:10 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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Well, that "can't stand" would be a plus in my eyes. The proper inflection and/or context doesn't always come through in online communication.

I would have answered her question by saying "Yes, I am!" and seeing how she responded.

Personally, there are very few of the "must haves/can't stands" that would raise my eyebrow about a match. They're just canned answers and most people would pick more than 10 of them if given the opportunity.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:24 pm
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BSLS BSLS is offline
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You and a potential match are still practically strangers during the guided communication. If you wouldn't discuss it in a face-to-face first conversation with a woman, don't bring it up in the initial communication process.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:31 pm
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
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I Closed somebody because his Must Have Can't Stands listed sex three times. I used I'd Rather Not Say because it creeped me out so much.

My Creep Antenna goes up with one mention, but three...It just conjured up God only knows what sort of kinkiness!

Sex is important to most people (asexuals aside). Even if somebody didn't mention it in MHCS, I assume they want it! Unless you're Saving it for Marriage, I assume that sooner or later you're going to find out whether you're compatible in the sack. And not having met the person yet, you don't even know if you have Sexual Chemistry! It's possible to both have sex in your MHCS only to meet & discover that no way would you go to bed with each other!

I can't help but wonder if those who do mention sex in their Profiles or MHCS are of the opinion that those who don't are all sexually repressed or something... It just sounds so pretentious to me.

There, I bet I finally went & pissed the whole board off!
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:34 pm
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landstar59 landstar59 is offline
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I would be bothered if a guy had that listed as a CS. The reason being, it makes it sound as if sex is foremost on your mind. We women liked to be thought of as sexual beings but not over everything else. Aside from that your potential mate or S.O. may appear to be sexual and then you tie the knot and she becomes so uninterested in the whole act. Who can predict the outcome?
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:03 pm
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