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Skyking6976 Skyking6976 is offline
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Very interesting comments.

I haven't decided yet if I'll leave this one in..I'll sleep on it. If I was younger it wouldn't be on my CS list but dealing with women closer to my age it needs to be made clear.

I didn't want to make a long original post so I just gave you the essential facts. I just closed the woman out this afternoon because she...at least to me was a nut. She talked about world conspiracy theories, natural healing...I could never take a pill again if we were together...I am totally serious.

Me closing her out didn't negate my thoughts about that CS...she is still a woman and may have been the only one I've communicated who actually mentioned it right up front. At first I though it was kinda sexy that she picked up on it, then I thought she was teasing me.

I wish it wasn't a CS but rather a MH.
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:14 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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Just personal opinion here, but to me the goal is to get to the point of Open Communication and meeting in person. I have found that anything in the MHCS that are of a controversial nature will usually result in a close. Personally I would wait to bring sex up until you have had at least one date. If you were to meet someone "in real life" would you begin the conversation with "Hi I'm SkyKing. I like to swing from the chandeliers."

I am currently going through the process with a match who has several of the sex MHCS and then followed it up with a long dissertation of risque behavior in Second Questions. Really just not what I consider appropriate time or place.
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:21 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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Skyking6976 wrote :
Very interesting comments.

I haven't decided yet if I'll leave this one in..I'll sleep on it. If I was younger it wouldn't be on my CS list but dealing with women closer to my age it needs to be made clear.

I didn't want to make a long original post so I just gave you the essential facts. I just closed the woman out this afternoon because she...at least to me was a nut. She talked about world conspiracy theories, natural healing...I could never take a pill again if we were together...I am totally serious.

Me closing her out didn't negate my thoughts about that CS...she is still a woman and may have been the only one I've communicated who actually mentioned it right up front. At first I though it was kinda sexy that she picked up on it, then I thought she was teasing me.

I wish it wasn't a CS but rather a MH.
My offer still stands
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:20 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Just personal opinion here, but to me the goal is to get to the point of Open Communication and meeting in person. I have found that anything in the MHCS that are of a controversial nature will usually result in a close. Personally I would wait to bring sex up until you have had at least one date. If you were to meet someone "in real life" would you begin the conversation with "Hi I'm SkyKing. I like to swing from the chandeliers."

I am currently going through the process with a match who has several of the sex MHCS and then followed it up with a long dissertation of risque behavior in Second Questions. Really just not what I consider appropriate time or place.
The ever-so-powerful beauty of truly analytical minds with never cease to amaze me...
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:23 pm
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Just personal opinion here, but to me the goal is to get to the point of Open Communication and meeting in person. I have found that anything in the MHCS that are of a controversial nature will usually result in a close. Personally I would wait to bring sex up until you have had at least one date. If you were to meet someone "in real life" would you begin the conversation with "Hi I'm SkyKing. I like to swing from the chandeliers."

I am currently going through the process with a match who has several of the sex MHCS and then followed it up with a long dissertation of risque behavior in Second Questions. Really just not what I consider appropriate time or place.



I have tried to post here twice this evening. I guess I've been censored.

OOPS!

So all I'm going to say now is What He Said!
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:36 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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When I was on eH, I usually took the MH/CS lists with a grain of salt. Typically, these are things that went wrong in past relationships, and people are saying "I'm not going to put up with THIS again."

So when I saw one saying there needed to be regular sex in the relationship, it didn't bother me. I work with guys all day, and I'm constantly hearng how women are not interested in it. And I always thought that was odd because the women I know talk about really liking it. Hmm...

Having been in the situation where an ex seemed very interested in the beginning, then decided after marriage that 3 or 4 times a year was just fine for him (um...no), I can understand when men put that on their list. It's a very big deal, especially after you've said you'll be faithful for the rest of your life.
- July 4th, 2009, 06:55 am
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redevil999 redevil999 is offline
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Skyking6976 wrote :


I see you want a faithful woman, who loves sex, and only has eyes for you, huh?
This seems like a perfectly reasonable request! I would want the same thing from a man.

The problem with the canned questions and MHCS's is that everyone interprets them differently. Most of the MHCS's are things that should be an obvious expectation (honesty, faithfulness, etc.) and you have to select a specific number whether you want to or not.

Unfortunately you have to work around eh's best intentions sometimes. The best advice seems to be to chose the most vanilla responses and then when you are in open communication, you can clarify more effectively.

I have noticed women on this board commenting that they sometimes feel pressured to talk about and even engage in sex before they are ready. If one of their matches choses more than one sex-related MHCS, they will typically close them.
- July 4th, 2009, 09:50 am
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redevil999 redevil999 is offline
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
What I can't understand is why would you close that woman, or take it as an insult. Her statement just summarized your entire post. I don't think it was meant as an attack. I can imagine myself saying exactly the same thing, and it would have all the positive connotations in the world because I'm looking for exactly the same.
I might have agreed with this sentiment were it not for the ", huh?" at the end which had me leaning toward a sarcastic interpretation.

However Skyking, she didn't close you, so she might have just been trying to be playful.

It's a good idea to assume every online communication has the most positive meaning possible. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

It's difficult to note nuances online. I can come off as brutal when you can't see the devilish smile and playful eyes!
Last edited by redevil999; July 4th, 2009 at 11:11 am. Reason: overuse of the word "interpretation" today :)
- July 4th, 2009, 10:06 am
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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redevil999 wrote :
It's a good idea to assume every online communication has the most positive meaning possible. Giver her the benefit of the doubt.

I agree. Well-said.
- July 4th, 2009, 11:03 am
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redevil999 redevil999 is offline
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chawks64 wrote :
Having been in the situation where an ex seemed very interested in the beginning, then decided after marriage that 3 or 4 times a year was just fine for him (um...no), I can understand when men put that on their list. It's a very big deal, especially after you've said you'll be faithful for the rest of your life.
Yeah, what's up with that?! I don't insist on more than once a day, but when they think of it as an anniversary event, that's a problem.
- July 4th, 2009, 11:15 am
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