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coastalmom coastalmom is offline
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Not a question, just wondered it this happens a lot. I had never re-opened one before, but decided to see what was up. I had closed him several weeks ago after not getting a response back from an email to his aol account. It was read, and just never responded to. The re-open message was please reconsider, I think we have potential. So I sent a quick what's up, never heard back. I got back a long story of don't know what happend to your email, must have gotten lost or put in spam. But aol lets you know when the other person has read it, date and time, so sounds like a story. Funny part is he's coming over to the coast for the 4th weekend, and was wanting to make plans with me for coffee or......... I hate being bottom of the back up list
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:31 am
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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I think ONE benefit of the doubt is called for with a new person, especially in case of missed communication.

I usually open an e-mail when I get it, but frequently will not answer it right away – especially if it is long or complicated and I have not enough time to do so at that moment.

Then I might forget about it.
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:54 am
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I think ONE benefit of the doubt is called for with a new person, especially in case of missed communication.

I usually open an e-mail when I get it, but frequently will not answer it right away – especially if it is long or complicated and I have not enough time to do so at that moment.

Then I might forget about it.
Ha! Ha! - I do the exact same thing. I am really bad at responding, even here.

----

I have re-opened matches. My experience is they usually don't end up anywhere but I will still re-open. You never know - and what skin off your nose if they flake again?? At least that is how I look at it.
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:59 am
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coastalmom coastalmom is offline
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Ok, benefit of the doubt. I can do that.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:28 am
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redevil999 redevil999 is offline
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Why does it seem like the best way to get someone's attention is to close them? LOL
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:37 am
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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Hmm…

Maybe the thing to do is immediately close all your matches, then come back and reopen them?

If nothing else, it will mess with their head just enough to make them curious about you.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:43 am
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AllOneHeart AllOneHeart is offline
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You might consider 2 things here: first, you were matched by eHarmony so there ought to be some commonality; however, the second thing to consider is your gut feeling. If you do feel like you are at the end of the list...honor yourself and keep your distance. Coffee, a glass of wine, maybe even dinner, have a good time, but, see this man clearly. Go with your gut instinct regardless of what his excuses are. Honor you.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:44 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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My observations are that matches rarely re-open. I have had one match request that I re-open which I did and we communicated for a bit then she poofed again. I have never had a match re-open for me.
- July 3rd, 2009, 12:00 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline
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Dear coastalmom,

Looks like you've already received some good feedback.

In general, I agree with LizziePooh about re-opening a match. It may lead to something or it may not, but you'll never know unless you take that step. Better to know once and for all that a match wasn't The One, then to wonder later "What if?"

As always, when getting to know a match, we want you to pay attention to your instincts, as AllOneHeart and our Safety Tips advise. Should you decide to give this match the benefit of the doubt, as some members have suggested, I would encourage you to keep your plans simple. If for whatever reason the two of you don't click, it may be less disappointing if you were just meeting for a cup of coffee as opposed to looking forward to a more elaborate date. However, if you do click, then you can make plans to spend more time together.

Also, whenever you meet a match in person for the first time, we encourage you to review the Safety Tips we provide members to help them have a successful, safe experience: http://www.eharmony.com/safety/tips.

Keep us updated on your decision and how things go with this match.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
- July 3rd, 2009, 02:47 pm
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yeoww yeoww is offline
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I've re-opened two matches with the same result as the OP. Who knows? I figure it's all part of the internet dating experience, if not one of the more pleasant aspects :-/
- July 3rd, 2009, 02:55 pm
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