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BelieverinKY BelieverinKY is offline
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Several times I've gotten a request to re-open, usually after closing them for not responding, and in just about every case I never heard from them again. Why ask to re-open and then not respond? Sometimes I wonder if I'm a strange as some of my matches. I did get matched with them after all. lol
- July 4th, 2009, 04:53 pm
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beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
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beautifulgenius My daughter's famous last words..." I didn't do it. Honest."

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Re-opening a match, is ok to do. My experience has been that it's no skin off my nose either, and sometimes giving both of you a second chance to see if anything is there is benefitial. We don't always know what life is about to give us. So take the opportunity to give it another try!!
- July 4th, 2009, 05:02 pm
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treeye treeye is offline
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I'd say give it another chance, however, you closed him for a reason, so be alert with that.

I closed a match coz it usually takes him one week or longer to respond to my email, I think he's not interested. but after he sent me "potential" request, I reopened the match, talked with him, met him, went out for three months with him, and ignored the "not interested" "not emotional available" signal he was sending me from the begining and ended up being hurt.

so will I reopen this match if I've had this experience? absolutely no. It's good to hope for the best, but it's also good to know whether you two are good matches and avoiding wasting time with the wrong guy.
- July 4th, 2009, 07:18 pm
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56Steve 56Steve is offline
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I reopened one match who never responded when they "thought we had potential." OK, I figured what the heck. Still no response. A few weeks later I closed her for good.

One of my matches reopened communication after I send a final response of, "I think if we had met, etc." Basically she told me off. I had to chuckle - OK, if that's the way you feel, fine, be that way. I don't need this.
- July 6th, 2009, 05:54 pm
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coastalmom coastalmom is offline
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Update: Never heard back again, so now I'm siding with those of you who said not to go backwards and re-open. You learn something new around here every day.
- July 9th, 2009, 12:33 am
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PoliticalChick01 PoliticalChick01 is offline
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Sorry to hear that you didn't hear back from someone you wanted to re-open.

Just remember that there was a reason you closed the person out in the first place and to listen to you gut instinct.

I have never re-opened a match after I have closed them even though I got a few asking me to reconsider. Trust your gut and never look back - only forward.

Good Luck!
- July 9th, 2009, 05:10 am
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robv_la robv_la is offline
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Reopened matches have turned out to be a waste of time..even if that time is only 5-10 minutes of sending a new message.

Usually I have closed matches due to lack of response in the first place. And every single time, that trend continues after requesting a match get reopened.

Here's what really happens on this after seeing how some female friends handle eH.

A woman joins eH and gets a bunch of matches right away. She gets hammered by a large number of questions. So she picks what she likes of the pool and ignores the rest.

Now she'll go through communications with the ones she likes...often they are very attractive and superficial...some are players. So those go nowhere. Meanwhile most the other matches close due to non-communication.

So no new matches yet and no propects, so she looks over the list of closed and requests a bunch reopen. Some do so she goes through the process again.

The problem is, from the guy's perspective, if you didn't respond the first time, then we may reopen once, but if you fail to respond again then you'll get reclosed even quicker.
- July 9th, 2009, 05:21 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is online now
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coastalmom wrote :
Update: Never heard back again, so now I'm siding with those of you who said not to go backwards and re-open. You learn something new around here every day.
Ha! Yeah, that was my experience as well. This topic has come up before and one poster said what she did when they did not respond was she closed them and clicked a ton of reasons for closing!!! Ha! I thought that was pretty clever and therapeutic.

I'll still re-open a match if they ask and I won't hold my breath until they respond. And I probably will add the last step of closing them with relish - because quite frankly, it is funny and they deserve it - at that point!

- July 9th, 2009, 07:13 pm
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