Why doesn't E-Harmony list marital status in the profile?


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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #41  July 1,2009, 6:35am
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Mayne wrote :
Well, to those of looking for people who keep their word and commitments, a divorce is a pretty negative sign in that regard.
So if someone who was married and was terribly abused, physically and mentally, that person's only choice is death in your opinion?

I'm all for people keeping their word and commitments, but there are some promises that have to be broken.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #42  July 1,2009, 7:15am
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If I remember rightly, when I was subscribed to eH Dating, the choices on the questionnaire were Separated, Divorced, Widowed, and Single. At the time, they only posted on your profile if you were single or divorced - not widowed. Separated people are still married and not allowed. (I'm relying on my 50+ year old memory since I closed my subscription over a year ago.) I just checked my old account and they seemed to have changed the format somewhat and my old matches no longer have the marital status listed at all.

So maybe one of the mods, Lori or Kate, could chime in here.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #43  July 1,2009, 11:27am
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Personally, I also would like to know this kind of status too.

But I would be more interested in, if divorced, as to how many times.

1 time, no problem.
It was a mistake, they thought they loved each other, but it turned out wrong... Or perhaps the husband was abusive, beat her, etc, etc...

More than once..

Thats a real problem.
That indicates a real issue on her end, if she keeps pulling the plug on her marriage each time the going gets tough...

Or if its always the guy doing the leaving/divorcing, then you have to question her judgement in going with the right guy... Is she only going to be attracted to the "bad guys" that will treat her like crap and/or beat her?
I don't understand a woman's mentality when she keeps running back the bad guys that beat her, and because of that, I know I would never be a good match for someone like that.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #44  July 1,2009, 1:36pm

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Thanks, everyone, for engaging in this very heated discussion. It’s obviously a “hot button” for quite people. I just want to remind everyone that while you may not agree with someone’s opinion, please remember to respond to them in a respectful manner.

First, as mentioned, eHarmony does not allow people who are separated to join the singles service. The purpose of eHarmony Singles is for available, single people to find a happy, long-term relationship. A person who is separated, even legally, is also still married.

If you have matched with someone with whom you might have a concern about, we encourage you to report this match to matchconcerns@eharmony.com. This benefits you, other members, and even the match.

eHarmony includes “divorced”, “never-been-married”, and “widowed” in the category of “single” status. Our founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren’s research of compatibility revealed an amazing outcome – that married couples who were not compatible in certain key areas were less likely to be happy, and much less likely to stay together. From the scientific standpoint of Dr. Warren’s research, as well as eHarmony Lab’s ongoing research, divorced, widowed, and never-been-married members are all quite capable of finding a suitable partner. Labeling profiles with marital backgrounds could keep members who might otherwise be a perfect fit for each other from communicating.

I have heard some members state that they think a match who has never been married is a “red flag” – I have heard other members say the same thing about widowed or divorced matches.

To ScottK’s point, each person has their own history, regardless of their “category”. The details behind the marital status may be far more important than the marital status itself. If you are interested in someone, get to know them and pay attention to their personal story, how they express it, and their perspective on the causes of it. Be wary for clues that may imply that there is an unhealthy pattern.

While eHarmony’s stance is based on relationship science, we don’t want to minimize anyone’s view of what they consider important due to religious faith or personal experience, for example. If you feel strongly about wanting or not wanting matches with a certain marital history, you may want to state your preference on your About Me page in a positive way to let your matches know up front.

Thank you all again for participating in this discussion.

Sincerely,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Kate; July 1,2009 at 1:57pm.
 
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Vivienne is offline Vivienne Post #45  September 21,2009, 7:13pm
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For those of you that are looking for partners, I agree with them on eHarmony should have an option for that information but it really is up to that person filling out their own profile. Personally, eHarmonyAvice is really for people who just want to talk, get advice, gain some friends but that's it. That's why eHarmony has eHarmony Matches for those people who are looking for partners. But then, that's just my opinion. Not everyone will feel that way.
 
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CleanUpCrew is offline CleanUpCrew Post #46  July 24,2011, 2:04pm
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Wow your married and on a dating site.

Your husband......

BUSTED


Peanutsmom wrote :
When you get to ask someone questions why don't you ask them if they've ever been married? That way you get it over with quick. If it means that much to you just ask!
 
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