DIVISION is offline DIVISION Post #1  June 26,2009, 12:05pm

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In my experience, women either answer the first set of questions or simply do nothing when communication is initiated.

It's understood implicitly that you're expected to either respond or close the match, but not sit there and procrastinate when someone sends you questions.

I'm not sure if this is people in general or just women, but it's a trend on E-Harmony.

I've closed several matches simply due to inactivity on the female's part.

How much effort is it to read someone's profile and determine whether there's interest or not, and act accordingly?

This type of evasive behaviour explains why so many people have issues when it comes to in-person interaction.

When you leave a match sitting there, it says alot about you.....
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  June 26,2009, 12:59pm
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Or it says that your profile is too average - the backburner variety of not interesting enough to respond to while too many other matches are pending and not bad enough to close you out.

Sarcasm aside, a huge number of your matches are not paying customers and cannot respond and are probably not active and that's why they do not close you out or respond. They may eventually become active members and they may not. Whether you keep those matches around or not and how long is up to you. One important point of consideration is that once you close that match you can't take it back. There is a thread here about improvements to EH and the unanimous request is knowledge on whether your match is an active member or not precisely because this kind of a thing is extremely annoying.
 
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #3  June 26,2009, 1:17pm
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Common complaint - no easy answer.

If I'm really interested in a guy, I'm more than happy to initiate communication and will immediately respond to those who initiate with me. If I know right away I'm not interested, then I'm also willing to close them out. It's those guys that fall in the middle - those that I don't feel strongly one way or the other, that I have a harder time with.

You could be encountering several things:

1) They're inactive.
2) They're not paying members and/or are just waiting for a free weekend.
3) They're busy.
4) They're dating someone else or multiple people at the moment -- the timing is bad, but they might be interested as a later date, so they leave this open.
5) They're unsure.
6) They're lazy.
7) They're rude.
8) They're deluged in other matches at the moment.

So, as you see - it can actually say many different things about you ...

As you've figured out - if it bothers you, you can always close them out with the reason "did not respond to my request to communicate"
 
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DIVISION is offline DIVISION Post #4  June 26,2009, 1:39pm

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blrdancer wrote :
Common complaint - no easy answer.

If I'm really interested in a guy, I'm more than happy to initiate communication and will immediately respond to those who initiate with me. If I know right away I'm not interested, then I'm also willing to close them out. It's those guys that fall in the middle - those that I don't feel strongly one way or the other, that I have a harder time with.

You could be encountering several things:

1) They're inactive.
2) They're not paying members and/or are just waiting for a free weekend.
3) They're busy.
4) They're dating someone else or multiple people at the moment -- the timing is bad, but they might be interested as a later date, so they leave this open.
5) They're unsure.
6) They're lazy.
7) They're rude.
8) They're deluged in other matches at the moment.

So, as you see - it can actually say many different things about you ...

As you've figured out - if it bothers you, you can always close them out with the reason "did not respond to my request to communicate"
It's not that it bothers me as much as it's a waste of time.

I close out people who are inactive.

It's more a reflection on them than anything else.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #5  June 26,2009, 1:58pm

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Dear DIVISION,

I'm sorry to hear that matches who aren't responding to your communication requests are also not being courteous and closing communication.

While we encourage members to communicate with most if not all of their matches, at any time, should a member decide not to do so, we ask that they do the right thing and close communication. Many members do so, as I'm sure you do; but, unfortunately, not all members extend this courtesy to their matches -- men included.

On the other hand, we do encourage you to be patient when awaiting a response. You never know what may be going on in a match's life. So that you don't miss out on a potentially wonderful match, we recommend that you wait a week, send a nudge, then wait another week. You have nothing to lose, and your patience may be greatly rewarded!

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  June 26,2009, 4:33pm
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blrdancer wrote :
Common complaint - no easy answer.

...

As you've figured out - if it bothers you, you can always close them out with the reason "did not respond to my request to communicate"
Very true.
 
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Jenexa is offline Jenexa Post #7  July 6,2009, 11:54am
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It's obviously not just women on eharmony because I am having the same problem with the men!!! They simply do NOTHING - they don't initiate communication, they don't answer my questions and they don't close the match. And of those rare few that do engage in communication, 9 out of 10 of them just disappear at some point. I hate being left hanging and do not understand the mentality of a person who cannot take the few minutes it requires to respond in some way. I just assumed that if person took the time and energy and spent the money to join eHarmony, that they were serious about finding a patner and would be committed to the process - but it doesn't seem that way.
 
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beloved0000 is offline beloved0000 Post #8  July 6,2009, 12:29pm
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I don't pay the membership fee because it's too dang expensive for what you get in return for your money.

I save my matches in open status because you can't reopen a closed match on free communication weekends.

They have free weekends about 4 times a year. I always wait until then. I've sunk over $2000 in membership fees on this site over the years and the technical issues....don't even get me started.

So I don't and won't pay. I've gotten dates out of free weekends, too.

Call me cheap call me what ever you want, but I won't pay money for something and get nothing. Especially since it's like you said, the matches usually don't respond anyway.

So that's why THIS woman doesn't answer the request for communication questions. Cuz I don't pay.
 
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alexsmom0501 is offline alexsmom0501 Post #9  July 6,2009, 12:37pm
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Happens to women too. I wish eH had an option where you can see if the person is an active or paying member. In the past few weeks I have had 2 matches that kept viewing my profile and never responding or closing. I am guessing they must not be paying members.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #10  July 6,2009, 12:37pm

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DIVISION wrote :
In my experience, women either answer the first set of questions or simply do nothing when communication is initiated.

It's understood implicitly that you're expected to either respond or close the match, but not sit there and procrastinate when someone sends you questions.

I'm not sure if this is people in general or just women, but it's a trend on E-Harmony.

I've closed several matches simply due to inactivity on the female's part.

How much effort is it to read someone's profile and determine whether there's interest or not, and act accordingly?

This type of evasive behaviour explains why so many people have issues when it comes to in-person interaction.

When you leave a match sitting there, it says alot about you.....


Hey Division, lots of eha women complain about the same thing per men. To me it's sales-contact 100 women and get a certain % response. Then do the same over and over. Better yet-flirt with some women here. You'll go further...and a lot of the women here are keepers.

Good luck,
 
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