Inspired.. please give me your opinion


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SnowyDew is offline SnowyDew Post #1  June 23,2009, 1:08pm
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waiting for __________. Still waiting....

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I was inspired by another eHarmony user who posted their profile online for others to read and remark upon in order to make it better.
Now, I'm asking you to do the same again (sorry) because I would really love some input! If I could have your Honest opinion I would be very happy. Thank you!

My Profile:

Occupation: Student - Physics

1. What are you most passionate about?
I am very passionate about literature, music, learning, travel, politics, and volunteer work. I love to read and write. I listen to all types of music (I have very eclectic taste) and I play the Piano and French Horn. I traveled a lot as a child and it has grown into a passion of mine (I will not list every country I have been to though); I love learning about the history and culture of a new place plus you get to meet new people! It has been engraved in my mind that you should give back to the community and I think that is very true. Politics and Volunteer work should be the community's concern... it is a government run BY the people.

2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
- My Family is definitly on the top of the list for things I am most thankful for. My parents have given me everything within their power to help me succeed and have supported me throughout my life choices (good and bad). For this I consider myself very fortunate. My close friends also fall into this category because they're not just random people, they're family as well.
- The ability to learn and grow. Without these two things the world would be a boring place. I love learning (from books, travel, people I meet on the sidewalk..etc.).
- Art. Music, literature, and graphic arts have always been a big part of my life. They allow me to express myself freely and without comprimise. They are really a gift.

3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?

Many of my teachers have had some impact or other on my life. But as for someone who really impacted my life and how I viewed it would have to be a historical figure: Winston Churchill. "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

4. The four things your friends say about you are:
Intelligent
Sweet
Good Listener
Genuine

5. What are three of your BEST life-skills?
Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
Being a good friend and companion
Achieving personal goals

6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
Kindness.... a warm heart is the most important characteristic I am looking for in another person.

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
I think people tend to notice my intellegence and/or my personality first... it just seems to flow right out.

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
I'm a lot more approachable than I seem.

9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Two or three things I enjoy most in leisure... 1 - Reading, 2 - conversation with another person, 3 - watch news / play games (board games, video games, sports, etc)

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
I really liked Rudolph B. Rucker's book "Geometry, Relativity, and the Fourth Dimension". It was about Einstein's theory of relativity and what it meant or implies to the fourth dimension and the geomentric figures it constues. The book was well laid out, easy to understand, and was quite interesting and thought provoking. Oh, I guess you can tell by now I'm a bit of a geek.

12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
I am a very sentimental person, if someone needs help or comforting I'll throw away what I'm doing to help, and I always work harder when someone else is depending on me. I think this is something that only my best friends realize.

13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
I love having fun (pick-up football in the rain and mud at night is a lot of fun, I must admit). I'm just a normal person after all. ;-)




Thank you very much for your insights...
Last edited by SnowyDew; June 23,2009 at 1:14pm.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  June 23,2009, 2:54pm
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First an important disclaimer: I'm a female and therefore anything I say should be taken with a grain of salt since I'm not your audience. Now on with advice.

The first impression that I have are your first two paragraphs or #1 and #2 - very very long and wordy. If your profile is the 10th one he is reading that day.....he might not bother... Also, they are both kind of repetitive so I would try and trim them down a bit.

As far as travel is concerned along with volunteering - there are a whole lot of threads on these boards about how men seem to see this as high maintenance, gold-digger, etc. Now I don't agree with this view. On my profile I have travel heavily emphasized and I do not have a problem with matches closing me out so I personally don't buy the gripes in those threads, but thought I'd give you a heads up about it. Another thought is that you may want to move that further down to leisure or other information space so that it's not the first thing he reads.

The final comment is that if you like sports, list them and if you like watching sports tell them which teams you root for. From personal experience I find that a lot of men will use that as a spring board for starting the OC with some light banter. After all writing that first OC e-mail can the hard, so this is nice material for that.
 
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SnowyDew is offline SnowyDew Post #3  June 23,2009, 3:07pm
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waiting for __________. Still waiting....

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thank you Dancing! I will definitly try to imploy your suggestions.
 
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Doodler is offline Doodler Post #4  June 23,2009, 6:19pm
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Only thing I would add is to correct your spelling of "intellegence" (intelligence) and "definitly" (definitely).
 
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SnowyDew is offline SnowyDew Post #5  June 24,2009, 8:54pm
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waiting for __________. Still waiting....

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Doodler wrote :
Only thing I would add is to correct your spelling of "intellegence" (intelligence) and "definitly" (definitely).
lol.... lovely... thank you very much! oppsies...

---- > "I are a Scientist, not an English major..." < -----


thanks so much though! I fail at spelling!
 
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JTF is offline JTF Post #6  June 24,2009, 9:58pm
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SnowyDew,

Honestly, I think that your profile is really good as it is. Personally, I like it when someone writes more than just 1 or 2 sentences for their answers. If we had been matched together, I would definitely be impressed.

I don't think anyone has done this on the thread yet...but it seems to me to be somewhat common for some posters to overanalyze others' profile answers and make needlessly critical/bad suggestions So, take all advice with a grain of salt.
Last edited by JTF; June 24,2009 at 10:01pm.
 
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SnowyDew is offline SnowyDew Post #7  June 25,2009, 9:38am
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waiting for __________. Still waiting....

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JTF, you're making me blush! Thank you for the compliment.
And thank you for the warning about taking things with a grain of salt, I have read other boards and would like to think I would know what to take seriously and what not to. I just wanted to hear other's opinions, not have them write my profile for me. Sometimes when you look and read over something you have writen yourself, you miss things...
 
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statuesquechica is offline statuesquechica Post #8  June 25,2009, 10:15am
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I have to say that overall I am extremely impressed by your profile. I think you demonstrate an ability to express yourself clearly, but also infuse a great deal of energy, interest and enthusiasm about life in your words. I would not change your profile where you describe your interests in travel and volunteer work because they are clearly very important to you as a person, and what is the harm in sharing that with potential mates? I think it shows you to be a very open person to learning about yourself and others, and contributing back to society.

Best of luck with your search!
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  June 25,2009, 11:37am

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Hi SnowyDew,

I am also very impressed with your profile all together. There are some really unique and wonderful details that will set you apart, and it’s brave of you to put your About Me out there for feedback. I especially enjoyed your choice of the most influential person – it’s succinct, memorable, and says a lot about who you are and your character. It speaks of your interest in history, that you’ve taken a noble example to heart and have incorporated his philosophy into the reality of your life.

In fact, all the questions on the About Me page are chances to get across all your wonderful traits and what qualities you are looking for. I personally think you’ve accomplished this successfully. In my own opinion, there might be places where you could trim or tweak, but nothing glaring.

You might actually get more directed feedback on our About Me page workshop threads. Each thread focuses on a different question of the About Me page. People tend to be better able to offer a more detailed, solid critique when they are looking at only one answer of your page. Here are the links to the questions we have so far:

http://is.gd/1dkwS
[COLOR=#1f497d][FONT=Calibri]http://is.gd/1dkxS
 
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SnowyDew is offline SnowyDew Post #10  June 25,2009, 12:00pm
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waiting for __________. Still waiting....

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Thank you all
 
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