Do you close the match after meeting a person?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
grapefruitjuice is offline grapefruitjuice Post #1  June 21,2009, 3:42pm
grapefruitjui…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 12

See profile

How often do you close the match after meeting that person, going on a few dates, and then poofing on him/her? Like, what does it mean when a guy goes silent after a couple dates (and I believe the "he's just not that into you", so no excuses for being too busy to send a simple "hi, how's it going" txt) but why wouldn't he close the match on eH?

I've been on the other side of the situation and after a couple dates and I realize I'm no longer interested, I make sure to close the match, too, so I don't always see him listed under my "communicating" matches, because why be reminded of someone you're no longer interested in?
Last edited by grapefruitjuice; June 22,2009 at 6:04pm. Reason: clarification
 
  Reply With Quote
chefertiti is offline chefertiti Post #2  June 22,2009, 5:46pm
chefertiti's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 27

See profile

I have had that happen. After two dates, a match "poofed" on me. I am of the school of thought that if a man stops calling it means that he's not interested and after only two dates-I really didn't need any explanation from him. And since I didn't really feel any chemistry with him, it hardly bothered me that he stopped calling. He did however, leave our match in the open communication stage. I have since met someone IRL and I closed out the match stating that "I was pursuing another relationship".

I'd say that if three weeks passes after your last date w/out any communication (whether you really liked him or not)-- go ahead and close out your match.
Last edited by chefertiti; June 22,2009 at 5:48pm. Reason: Clarification
 
  Reply With Quote
grapefruitjuice is offline grapefruitjuice Post #3  June 23,2009, 9:18pm
grapefruitjui…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 12

See profile

chefertiti wrote :
I have had that happen. After two dates, a match "poofed" on me. I am of the school of thought that if a man stops calling it means that he's not interested and after only two dates-I really didn't need any explanation from him. And since I didn't really feel any chemistry with him, it hardly bothered me that he stopped calling. He did however, leave our match in the open communication stage. I have since met someone IRL and I closed out the match stating that "I was pursuing another relationship".

I'd say that if three weeks passes after your last date w/out any communication (whether you really liked him or not)-- go ahead and close out your match.
What really makes me curious is why would someone who poofs not close the match as well? Assuming they are still searching for matches on eH, why would they want to have the unwanted match listed in their communicating section?
Last edited by grapefruitjuice; June 23,2009 at 9:19pm. Reason: grammar error
 
  Reply With Quote
Craftygirl is offline Craftygirl Post #4  September 3,2009, 7:51pm
Craftygirl's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 18

See profile

The only answer I can come up with for these deadbeat matches...if they don't care enough to email/text/IM there is no longer a connection, they probably don't care enough to hit the close button. Maybe it's an ego thing and they (he and she alike) like having a communication box full of their rejects?
 
  Reply With Quote
amamam is offline amamam Post #5  September 3,2009, 8:15pm
amamam's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

Posts: 15

See profile

This has always bothered me as well. If a guy poofs after some emails have been exchanged in the open communication phase, why doesn't he just close out the match? Why leave it open? I also don't understand if the guy emails me and says that I am "very pretty," why he would go poof?
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  September 4,2009, 5:50am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

once i meet someone irl or we exchange email phone numbers i close the match with we are communicating outside of eharmony. there really isnt any reason to leave it open.
 
  Reply With Quote
teejay13 is offline teejay13 Post #7  September 4,2009, 6:05am
teejay13's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

A newbie question - I have noticed on eHarmony a person I have encountered before on a different site - and do not wish to have contact with at all. Is it *etiquette* to close the match before he even opens it? When you close a match does the other party receive an email? or are they just blocked from making contact?

Ta for replies
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  September 4,2009, 8:31am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Nanette wrote :
once i meet someone irl or we exchange email phone numbers i close the match with we are communicating outside of eharmony. there really isnt any reason to leave it open.
Even if I have been dating someone for a while (like that happens) I will leave the match open so that I have all the profile information and communication available for reference.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  September 4,2009, 8:32am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Craftygirl wrote :
The only answer I can come up with for these deadbeat matches...if they don't care enough to email/text/IM there is no longer a connection, they probably don't care enough to hit the close button. Maybe it's an ego thing and they (he and she alike) like having a communication box full of their rejects?
That is called the Closed folder.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  September 4,2009, 8:34am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Even if I have been dating someone for a while (like that happens) I will leave the match open so that I have all the profile information and communication available for reference.
you can still see all of that even if its closed. or at least you used to be able to. i havent communicated with anyone in awhile, but when i went back on eh i did notice that i could look at old closed matches that reached oc and also see all of the communications. again, maybe that has changed.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Oh the mess we make... | Using eHarmony | Why are women not responding to me? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Free Communication Weekend and the Theory of Match Counts ScottK Using eHarmony 19 November 11,2010 11:10am
Close this match? curlygirlpdx Ask a Dating Expert 3 September 6,2009 6:10pm
First Match Meeting traveling 4 hrs to meet her advice anyone? AMFC3030 Dating 11 August 4,2009 10:25am
Is true love possible in a LDR without 1st meeting in person? Dtails4me Ask a Dating Expert 10 June 18,2009 5:32am
Should I close this match? Thoughts, please... goldengirl7676 Dating 18 May 18,2009 3:56pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:27pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0