Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
MMingE's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 23

See profile

Has anyone ever been in a situation where the person you were matched with wanted to meet you immediately after reaching open communication? This has happened to me a few times and the girl had already wanted to make plans to get together after the second message but when I tell that I have other plans, and they always seem to expect me to drop whatever I had planned(work, grad school and anything else that I made plans to do before I reached OC) they lose interest and I never hear from them again. Has anybody ever encountered a match who was like that? What happened?
- June 21st, 2009, 04:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
jomarie's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 181

See profile

Haven't experienced that myself, but people who are used to other dating services sometimes find the EH question & answer format a long and tedious process to getting to finally meet somebody. Maybe while they were waiting to meet you, they met somebody else who caught their fancy. You know how it is- (the early bird gets the worm!)
- June 21st, 2009, 05:07 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,030

See profile

I’ve been on the receiving end of a few eager women (not too many), and a few who kept up with my pace and agreed to meet quickly.

Expecting to be put (on the pedestal) ahead of school / work commitments would not sit well with me, but I could understand being upset if you gave an excuse I found silly. Usually I prefer women who meet sooner.
- June 21st, 2009, 06:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,329

See profile

You will never really know a person until you meet in person. So I do prefer to not spend a long time in Open Communication. But I would think that after the second e-mail was just a wee bit quick.

On the flip side I have found that spending a week or two communicating before meeting seems to make things go a bit better.

I have never had a match that wanted to meet as soon as we reached Open Communication but most are willing to meet without a long e-mail episode.
- June 21st, 2009, 07:29 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
last12C's Avatar

last12C Is finding plenty to be thankful for :-)

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 3,030

See profile



I haven't had an active subscription for a long time now, but when I did it was for one reason and one reason only: to meet someone. The GC can be a bit o' fun as long as it doesn't drag out too long, but personally I have a lot of my own questions that I want to ask and I want to hear your voice and see your face while you are answering them. I also have a lot of things that I would like to share with you. We all have to be patient with one another and respect each other's obligations, but if you find that you are having difficulty wrangling in a simple shared cup of coffee within a reasonable amount of time then you shouldn't expect your ladies to wait indefinitely until you can. The thinking is, if you don't have enough free time to meet someone how do you plan on dating anyone? We all have obligations in our lives, but if we want to meet someone, especially if we want that bad enough to pay for a service - that does have an expiration date on it BTW - to facilitate that then it is kind of assumed by others that we are willing to shake ourselves loose for a couple of hours once in a while to get to know them.

Good luck to you, sir! I hope that you find someone who truly intrigues you!

Last edited by last12C; June 22nd, 2009 at 09:11 am.
- June 21st, 2009, 07:42 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

danimal1968's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Feb 2009

Posts: 43

See profile

MMingE wrote :
Has anyone ever been in a situation where the person you were matched with wanted to meet you immediately after reaching open communication? This has happened to me a few times and the girl had already wanted to make plans to get together after the second message but when I tell that I have other plans, and they always seem to expect me to drop whatever I had planned(work, grad school and anything else that I made plans to do before I reached OC) they lose interest and I never hear from them again. Has anybody ever encountered a match who was like that? What happened?
Well, if they lose interest because you're not available on a specific night, then you're probably better off without them. But if they lose interest because they want to get together at some point in the next week or two and you say you have other plans every night, that's probably telling them that you're not very interested.
- June 21st, 2009, 08:26 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
jenny_926's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 8

See profile

I generally want to meet with someone after one back and forth of open communication. After going through the rounds of 1st and 2nd questions, if I do feel there is a possibility of a connection, I'd like to meet soon. This is simply because I have gone back and forth via email and telephone with people that I could tell within 5 minutes after meeting were completely incompatible with me.

I think the lack of consideration for your schedule is more troublesome than anything else.
- June 21st, 2009, 09:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Tank's Avatar

Tank Welcome to the TerrorDome

Pacesetter

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 447

See profile

I had one person want to meet me after 2 e-mails from Fasttrack and a 20 minute telephone conversation. I told her it was a little too soon. We talked on phone 1 more day that week, then she called to inform me she was too busy with graduate school to start a relationship right now and did not want me to waste my time with her. I told her to give me a call if her schedule slows down and she is still interested in contacting me.
- June 21st, 2009, 09:34 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
Mayne's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 109

See profile

I've had that happen. I've also had women dump their phone number as a first OC message and ask that I call. I usually close those ones out... but I don't mind meeting up right away if it looks like a good match.

A lot of it depends on where you and your match live. I've read stories on here about people driving 10 hours to meet someone... yeah, I think I'd need more than a few emails for that... but to drive 5 miles for a cup of coffee isn't a very big investment of time.
- June 22nd, 2009, 12:32 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
thedarknite's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 76

See profile

Girls like that are just looking for the BBD, the Bigger,Better, deal.
- June 22nd, 2009, 01:30 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ever get to open communication... Mayne Using eHarmony 13 August 9th, 2009 10:04 pm
Survey: First Open Communication MommyGetCoffee Using eHarmony 9 June 16th, 2009 09:21 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Hi everyone, this is my second post about the same guy. We met 3 weeks ago, and had 3 AMAZING dates. We hit a little bump after date #2 in which he implied things were moving too fast, so I backed ... ” – charity8987

Join the “Made plans for Thanksgiving, now he is unsure” discussion

“This is an easy question. Its all about the pursuee. Do they really want to be pursued. If yes, then persistence works, If no, then all it will do is annoy them. And in all honesty, do you really ... ” – DancingFool

Join the “does persistance pay off?” discussion

“What cruise line did you use? I recently went on a cruise to the Bahama's and didn't have to deal with any of that annoying stuff. We weren't forced to tip anyone, at any point. We could even choose ... ” – Dafearon

Join the “Is a Cruise a good Date?” discussion

“So what would be the best financial advice that anybody ever gave you (besides buy Google 10 years ago ^_^).” – Mr_Right

Join the “What is the best financial advice anybody has ever given you?” discussion

“So I've learned from these posts that I am not wrong for feeling this way. I agree, weekend dates hold more weight...more time, no work pressure the next day etc. So, given all of this, is there a ... ” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Is there a difference between weekday and weekend dates?” discussion

“Do you really think that Melman? I kind of think that that can be true of both sexes. It only seems that way because you are going by what you think and aren't looking at the male profiles. I think ... ” – librarybabe

Join the “How do I stop getting too attached to my matches too soon?” discussion

“Being tolerant of the choices of others is not the same as being flexible in one's own. (For what it's worth, I'd interpret what ScottK is talking about as ironic rather than hypocritical.)” – Iconography

Join the “Hypocritical Match?” discussion

“D'oh! Yeah, I knew that... just didn't think of it. ” – Iconography

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:05 am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0