Does anybody respond to communication with somebody they're not really interested in


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
MMingE is offline MMingE Post #1  June 19,2009, 8:42am
MMingE's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2007

Bronx, NY

Posts: 39

See profile

About two weeks ago, I reached open communication with this girl. For 2 weeks we exchanged messages and got to know each other and everything seemed to be going fine. We both seemed to be interested in each other. I wanted to ask her if she wanted to get together. But after I asked her out, she disappeared and never wrote back. Looking back, I kind of feel like she was never really interested in me and she was only communicating with me because none of the other people she was matched with were responding to her. How common it in eHarmony that your match is only communicating with you because nobody else is ? How could you even spot that?
 
  Reply With Quote
Minxyminx is offline Minxyminx Post #2  June 19,2009, 9:02am
Minxyminx's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Ocala, FL

Posts: 4

See profile

I can only guess that it may not be that she wasn't interested, but perhaps that asking to meet was too soon for her. Some people will either stop talking or disappear altogether once you suggest meeting simply because they aren't ready for that stage yet.

What makes you think that she wasn't really interested, now that you are looking back? Also, you have to think that she was more than likely communicating with other matches.

I personally wouldn't continue open communication for 2 weeks if I wasn't interested in the guy. That would just be unfair, like leading someone on.
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #3  June 19,2009, 9:26am
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

Part of the EH plan is "Don't make snap judgments." According to the plan you should communicate with ALL your matches unless there is something that you find horrific about the other person.

This means that you should end up at OC with people that one or the other of you isn't dying to marry.

Maybe when you made the situation real she realized that she really didn't want to communicate with you. Alternatively you're asking for a date may have seemed "out of sequence" to her. She might have been expecting you to exchange phone numbers and talk before you asked for a date.
 
  Reply With Quote
JTF is offline JTF Post #4  June 19,2009, 10:08am
JTF's Avatar

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce...

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 162

See profile

Generally, I will communicate with every girl who initiates communication with me. Sometimes I'm not that interested initially, but I feel that it's the best way to make the most out of my eHarmony experience. Not sure how common this is though.

If you advanced all the way to OC with her and she exchanged several messages with you, my guess is that she was interested.
 
  Reply With Quote
gneissgirl is offline gneissgirl Post #5  June 19,2009, 7:32pm
gneissgirl's Avatar

is chewing on clove gum.

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Louisiana

Posts: 77

See profile

I'm glad you asked that question. I'm new here and I have 3 communication requests from people I am not interested in. I was thinking about not filling them out, but after reading this, I will reply to 2 of them. I don't know much about the protocols here.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  June 19,2009, 8:00pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,685

See profile

Almost all of mine were uninteresting.

I communicated to all of them unless there was a deal-breaker. I have enough experience to know that some people are good in person even if they are boring up until that point.

I expect I was on the receiving end of women who did not actually have any interest in me (though I never thought about it before.) I don’t think it matters, though; just go through the process and let things happen.
 
  Reply With Quote
KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #7  June 19,2009, 10:13pm
KungFuFtr's Avatar

I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

San Antonio Texas

Posts: 1,025

See profile

Not I.
I don't think it's fair to build momentum with no intentions of dating.
 
  Reply With Quote
bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #8  June 19,2009, 10:22pm
bravethestorm's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,260

See profile

No I don't respond if I have no interest.

I respond if it looks like something might be there or I'm on the fence. The maybes are due to not much information in their profile, questions on what they said, or to determine if it's a good match.

Not sure how you would spot someone that communicated on boredom alone. Those would have the same result of someone closing or poofing just like someone that isn't a good match as a result of going through the guided communication.
 
  Reply With Quote
LilMissSassyPants is offline LilMissSassyPants Post #9  June 19,2009, 10:50pm
LilMissSassyP…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 26

See profile

For the most part, no. However if it is something disinteresting me that needs more explanation I try and give them a chance.
 
  Reply With Quote
avinash is offline avinash Post #10  June 20,2009, 12:19am
avinash's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 204

See profile

I try and keep an open mind about the girls i'm paired with, even the ones i'm not initially attracted to, because who knows, meeting them in real life I may find something I really like about them, so why slam the door before finding out
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Restart matches? | Using eHarmony | Trash Can »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
When does communication become obnoxious? CreolePrincess Dating 15 June 12,2010 6:08pm
Interested or just busy? Gigolz Ask a Dating Expert 2 June 9,2009 1:09pm
? to the guys: about closing, and communication style....is it just me? SMRTRTHNU Using eHarmony 16 May 29,2009 7:14pm
Younger people less likely to respond? dool889 Using eHarmony 4 May 27,2009 8:39pm
LAST COMMUNICATION DATE likemiriam Using eHarmony 2 May 20,2009 8:33am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:27pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0