T_rav is offline T_rav Post #1  June 17,2009, 5:54pm

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Just seems counter intuitive I think. Are most of the people of eharmony on trial accounts that can't reply or something? I'd figure if they didn't want to respond they'd just close the match but my updates still say all waiting on a response after a week and a half. Am I missing something??

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cccthatsme is offline cccthatsme Post #2  June 18,2009, 12:47am
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This happens to alot of us. From what I have been reading on this forum, alot of the profiles that don't respond to communication are trial accounts, and thus those people can't answer back. In my short time of being an EH member, I have started to send communication to those profiles I am interested in. I give them 7 days, if in those 7 days they do not respond, I just close them out and move on.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #3  June 18,2009, 1:27am
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Some people just don't reply or close even if they are active members.

Just send questions to those you like. Close the match in about two weeks to a month if they don't respond.

Free members can only send icebreakers unless it is a free weekend.
 
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MQRegan is offline MQRegan Post #4  June 18,2009, 8:16am
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Amazing. I've been getting them lately. Well, since February or so. Even if you can't reply, you should still at lease close. Its just rude.
 
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thedarknite is offline thedarknite Post #5  June 18,2009, 10:34am
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T_rav wrote :
Just seems counter intuitive I think. Are most of the people of eharmony on trial accounts that can't reply or something? I'd figure if they didn't want to respond they'd just close the match but my updates still say all waiting on a response after a week and a half. Am I missing something??

Thanks
Hey dude, ahhhhhh if I had a dollar everytime someone posted this topic.........You have just discovered how eharmony really works. Its not eharms fault, blame all those lame people that open profiles and never pay up. Eharm should only match you with paying members but they don't. So you probably will never hear from the majority of your matches. From my experience, if someone doesnt write back within a week then they wont ever write back.
The best case scenario is that you did send questions to paying members but they are just keeping you on the back burner.

Hang in there though, someone will write back eventually, then you'll be posting a thread about how they always close you before you get to open communication.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  June 18,2009, 2:21pm

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Sorry you’re encountering this T_Rav. From conversations I’ve had with members, it seems like a good number of them genuinely feel that it is rude to close a match. Others are simply passive or their focus is elsewhere.

We advocate closing a match if you definitely have no interest. This is addressed in our brief introductory online video, “The 5 Keys to Success”: http://www.eharmony.com/keystosuccess

Closing a match is actually a courtesy. If they are non-paying members, they are only matched with you because we have determined from their behavior that they are more likely to sign up and be able to communicate. Sometimes it does take people time to respond, so you might want to wait a week to give them a Nudge. They will get an e-mail that you’ve communicated. This will help keep you fresh in their awareness. If you wait another week, you might want to go ahead and close the match at that time and move on. Two weeks total is a good amount of time, because you’ve given them a reasonable amount of time to get back if they were away on vacation or unavailable.

All the best,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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searchinginidaho is offline searchinginidaho Post #7  June 18,2009, 7:58pm
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Again, I was surprised about the non-member arena. I (foolishly) thught that you had to be a paying member to do anything on eharmony. That would help explain the fact that I've sent out "questions" to about 12 contacts and yet haven't received anything back. Heaven forbid that they weren't interested in me, I'd rather think that they weren't dues paying members. It's taken me nearly a month to catch on to some of the nuances of this. Hope springs eternal
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #8  June 19,2009, 10:59am
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I currently have 23 open matches, out of those 21 never responded to my first questions. Several of them I have nudged. I have kept them open in hopes they will either eventually pay (if they are not paying members) or perhaps one day log on and respond or close me. Two of them are a bit more of a conundrum because we got to OC but they never responded to my first message. Perhaps after reading my first message they lost interest (fine) but please have the courtesy to close me and tell me. It gets frustrating but it is no loss to you to have matches open that haven't responded so I would not worry about it to much.
 
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kittencaboodle is offline kittencaboodle Post #9  June 19,2009, 8:00pm
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I am experiencing this too sometimes with members who have sent questions and correspondance then just stopped. What's so frustrating is that they still are viewing my profile, but they aren't communicating or closing. Why would someone do that? I'm too blunt to lead someone on like that. Maybe that's it. I'm too blunt and I'm scaring them away!
 
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LilMissSassyPants is offline LilMissSassyPants Post #10  June 19,2009, 11:05pm
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T_rav wrote :
Just seems counter intuitive I think. Are most of the people of eharmony on trial accounts that can't reply or something? I'd figure if they didn't want to respond they'd just close the match but my updates still say all waiting on a response after a week and a half. Am I missing something??

Thanks
Think of it this way, has every woman you've given your number to called? Probably not, so just be persistent, it takes time. I give people a month, but do not be surprised if all off a sudden during a free communication weekend they reply or people you closed on ask you to re-open.

I'm kind of judgmental about people who only communicate during free weekends as I coughed up the money for a membership, and to me someone who can't spend some money isn't serious about meeting someone.
 
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