Bc8ive is offline Bc8ive Post #1  June 15,2009, 4:30pm
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is happy.

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Greetings, I wanted to share my first eharmony experience.
I joined the first week of May of 09 , on the first day of joining my matches arrived , clicked on the first one, i liked her profile and clicked my heart away. By the end of the week we were on our first date. We clicked in every aspect, so much, the relationship ended within 2 weeks. I lost the girl of my dreams over 3 errors , a) Indulged to much personal info about myself over a short period of time , these things take time at the appropreate levels of the relationship b) slept with her on the second date and c) over planned during the short period i knew her.

So lesson to be learned , the gril of my dreams that broke my heart over stupidity.

Sincerly
bc8ive
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 15,2009, 4:39pm
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- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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I expect you will find that most matches will not make it to the next step, at any stage in the process, regardless of how much effort you take.
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #3  June 15,2009, 4:53pm
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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Welcome to the world of internet dating.

Not to be harsh but you got too excited about meeting your first match and you let your emotions overcome your brain. It's not uncommon to meet 10 or more matches before you decide on each other being the 'one'.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #4  June 15,2009, 5:51pm
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Wondering why I ever left this place. Came back and now I know why.

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How do you know when you have offered too much information until after the fact? What is TMI with one person may not be enough for another. I may have to add your lessons learned in my little notebook "Notes to self".
 
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thedarknite is offline thedarknite Post #5  June 16,2009, 12:32am
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You met someone after one week. I haven't met anyone in 7 months. Just be glad you met someone at all because its hard as heck for a lot of other people.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  June 16,2009, 4:23pm

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Bc8ive,

Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us, and sorry to hear about the pain in the process of learning. What a great thing, though, that you’ve decided to learn and go forward from here instead of allowing it to stop you all together.

Timing about when to divulge personal information and how fast to go may be a personal decision to some degree, and vary with different matches. However, we hope that the Guided Communication questions can inform and “warn” people that your perception of your match is subject change as you get to know them better. When you first meet, there is a lot of uncharted territory to discover in a brand new person. The Guided Communications can even help you figure out deal-breakers that would break up a seemingly perfect match. It can spare you from the hurt caused by getting involved with the wrong person too quickly.

The important thing is that you seem to have checked in with yourself about what works for you, and it sounds like you’ll continue to gather wisdom as you go.

Glad you’re here, and hope you’ll join us in more discussions.

Sincerely,

~Kate
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Bc8ive is offline Bc8ive Post #7  June 16,2009, 7:52pm
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Greetings again , thank you for the kind comments, but the truth of the matter is, i messed up , emotions took prefrence over logic . There was a interesting question raised , how much TMI is said and does time play a factor , on a professional TMI takes preference , but on personal level , were do you draw the line .


Bc8ive
 
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garden_gal11 is offline garden_gal11 Post #8  June 16,2009, 8:39pm
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It generally is better to get to know someone on a more gradual basis.Apparently you had a lot of trust(maybe unwarranted) too soon. I love honesty, but I do not want to know the secrets of someone's soul right off the get. We all enjoy a little mystery, its like a page turner book - you can't put it down.You find out who a person is through time spent with them,then if its not a relationship with shared values,etc. or too many conflicts exist - its okay. You will be okay, you are okay. Be a little like a mystery book, little like a funny heartwarming book, somewhat of an action book...but never a book of fiction.
 
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