Ok ladies, give me your HONEST opinion


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
FirefighterTimWilver is offline FirefighterTimWilver Post #1  June 13,2009, 1:50pm
FirefighterTi…'s Avatar

"Well you and I travel to a beat of a different drum" - Mike Nesmith

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Danville, PA

Posts: 19

See profile

Alright below is my profile as it appears on EH. I want an honest opinion on it. Go ahead and dissect it...whatever is bad, tell me. Whatever is good, do the same. Thanks in advance for your HONEST opinion:



What are you most passionate about?
the outdoors, flying, history(have my B.A. in it), music, volunteering as a firefighter.

What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
1. My two sons
2. my late father, a WWII Vet and POW
3. my country
Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
Well aside from my late Dad...it would have to be the many World War II vets I knew growing up...I always marvelled at their bravery and humbleness. There were and still are my heroes.

The four things your friends say about you are:
Creative
Intelligent
Loyal
Funny

What are three of your BEST life-skills?
Using humor to make friends laugh
Earning income to provide for my family
Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings

. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
honesty, desire to have a close relationship, someone to laugh with, dream with, grow old with and enjoy life to its fullest. Life is way too short, enjoy every minute and tell those you care about that you love them. Life is best when you have someone to share it with :-)

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
my wit...you really have to get to know me first...I'm more or less a great listener (ie the quiet guy ;-) but I do have a great sense of humor

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
my ability to write especially on military history.... those who have read my articles have said I have a God given gift.

How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Volunteering as a firefighter, music/playing guitar, writing military history, flying small aircraft, the outdoors:fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, golf, football, baseball.
What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Music
History
Hunting
Fishing
Love
Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?

Well this last thing I read - and am still reading - is for my firefighting classes, "Essentials of Firefighting and Emergency Response." Yeah, I know, kinda of a dry read but my goal is to work toward becoming a career firefighter/paramedic. I like it because it means I'll be helping people in need...Also reading "The Last Full Measure" by Richard Moe. It's about the 1st Minnesota regiment in the Civil War.

Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
Ask my friends. One can write so many words about oneself or post as many pictures as you want but what does that reallly say about you? Its sorta like your favorite musical group. Which would be better, to read about your favorite musical group or go SEE them in concert? Obviously, seeing them live would be more true to experiencing what that group is REALLY like than just reading about them. Same thing here...you can read about someone but meeting is more real.

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
I guess I'm what you'd call attractive and slim. I think the most important thing in life is finding my soulmate. I love kids and have two of my own. I would love to have more if you desire them too. If you want to get to know me better, let's go hear some live music. I like fishing and hunting. Do you like any other pastimes & hobbies? Me too!! I love romantic dinners and evenings together listening to music – what's your idea of romance? I believe the rewards of a relationship are worth the work. I still believe in true love....like the Moody Blues sang, "I Know You're Out There Somewhere..."
 
  Reply With Quote
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  June 13,2009, 4:06pm
MelinCali's Avatar

is moving!

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Earth

Posts: 8,113

See profile

FirefighterTimWilver wrote :
Alright below is my profile as it appears on EH. I want an honest opinion on it. Go ahead and dissect it...whatever is bad, tell me. Whatever is good, do the same. Thanks in advance for your HONEST opinion:
Oh, you are so gonna get it! My honest opinion, that is!

I will not bother with the things where you picked three/four things from a list. Your choices actually seem pretty good and there's not much to do about those.
What are you most passionate about?
the outdoors, flying, history(have my B.A. in it), music, volunteering as a firefighter.

I always think it's nice when someone describes their passions in sentences rather than giving a list of things they like. It shows more passion for whatever it is.

What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
1. My two sons
2. my late father, a WWII Vet and POW
3. my country
Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
Well aside from my late Dad...it would have to be the many World War II vets I knew growing up...I always marvelled at their bravery and humbleness. There were and still are my heroes.

Not really a most influential person...but not a biggy to me!

The four things your friends say about you are:
Creative
Intelligent
Loyal
Funny

What are three of your BEST life-skills?
Using humor to make friends laugh
Earning income to provide for my family
Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings

. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
honesty, desire to have a close relationship, someone to laugh with, dream with, grow old with and enjoy life to its fullest. Life is way too short, enjoy every minute and tell those you care about that you love them. Life is best when you have someone to share it with :-)

You haven't really picked one quality...it's more like a wish list with a motto stuck on the end. What's so great about honesty if that is indeed the quality you are choosing?

Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
my wit...you really have to get to know me first...I'm more or less a great listener (ie the quiet guy ;-) but I do have a great sense of humor
I don't understand how the listener part fits in with your wit and humor. Maybe a re-write to clarify? I'll try, but I'm not sure if this is the general gist of things.
my wit...I'm more or less a quiet guy (goes with being a great listener), so it sometimes takes a while before I show my sense of humor
This answer should actually be for the next question if they have to get to know you first!! What is something that people actually do notice about you when they meet you?
What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
my ability to write especially on military history.... those who have read my articles have said I have a God given gift.

Ya, I'm not sure how you could wish someone would notice this about you right away. I would talk about your writing as the thing that only your best friends know. I would also tone down the God given gift. You say you respect the humbleness of those vets you knew growing up, but this sounds like you didn't learn to be humble from them.

How do you typically spend your leisure time?
Volunteering as a firefighter, music/playing guitar, writing military history, flying small aircraft, the outdoors:fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, golf, football, baseball.
Can you add anything you think might be more date-friendly? Do you ever go out for dinner or to movies? If so, put it at the start of the list so I can imagine doing this with you. Camping and hiking might be okay, but not with a total stranger.
What are five things that you "can't live without?"
Music
History
Hunting
Fishing
Love
How about something that isn't listed in your passions here? Show something different about yourself and maybe display that famous wit of yours with a quirky thing you can't live without! (You can always add a brief explanation too after the name of the thing you would die without).

Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?

Well this last thing I read - and am still reading - is for my firefighting classes, "Essentials of Firefighting and Emergency Response." Yeah, I know, kinda of a dry read but my goal is to work toward becoming a career firefighter/paramedic. I like it because it means I'll be helping people in need...Also reading "The Last Full Measure" by Richard Moe. It's about the 1st Minnesota regiment in the Civil War.

Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
Ask my friends. One can write so many words about oneself or post as many pictures as you want but what does that reallly say about you? Its sorta like your favorite musical group. Which would be better, to read about your favorite musical group or go SEE them in concert? Obviously, seeing them live would be more true to experiencing what that group is REALLY like than just reading about them. Same thing here...you can read about someone but meeting is more real.

This is a very long winded answer that reveals nothing and is essential summed up with "Ask them" and we hate that as much as you men hate reading that in a profile. See my suggestion above.

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?

I guess I'm what you'd call attractive and slim.

Uh-uh! Delete that ASAP! Let me (your match) decide if I would call you attractive--just include a full-length photo and I will know you are slim too.

I think the most important thing in life is finding my soulmate. I love kids and have two of my own. I would love to have more if you desire them too. If you want to get to know me better, let's go hear some live music.

I like fishing and hunting.
Ya, I got that idea already since you already said you can't live without it...Delete! Tell me only things that are different here. If you start repeating things like that, you start to sound like there's not much more to you than the stuff you've listed in the profile....and that is pretty limited since you had recycle ideas for the different questions.
Do you like any other pastimes & hobbies? Me too!! I love romantic dinners and evenings together listening to music – what's your idea of romance? I believe the rewards of a relationship are worth the work. I still believe in true love....like the Moody Blues sang, "I Know You're Out There Somewhere..."

My overall impression is you are a guy with an interest in the outdoors (especially hunting and fishing), history (probably military), and some type of unspecified music.

It's not a lot for a woman to connect with. Is there a particular kind of music or artist you really enjoy that you might like to share with a partner?

If I think of any other questions to ask like this, I will post again.

I hope you don't take any of these comments personally. It's all about making your profile the best it can be so the right woman will see that you are the right man for her. Good luck!!!
Last edited by MelinCali; June 13,2009 at 4:54pm. Reason: There's always more to say! ;-D
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #3  June 13,2009, 7:51pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

Firefighter,
Melincali has offerred you some very useful suggestions, and I agree with most of them, so I'll try not to repeat much here.

I will however tell you this - when I read a profile (and we read a lot of them), it needs to stand out. I need to connect to it, at least in parts.

For me personally (and it's just me of course), if you have not captured my attention in the first part (which I believe to be the most important part of all), it's unlikely that I will even continue to read further.

When I read about your passions, I want feel them. I actually want to see evidence of that passion, not a list. If I received this profile and read that you are passionate about the outdoors, flying and history, to be perfectly honest and not cruel, I would close the profile.

I'm quite open-minded, and I don't really mind what others are passionate about, as long as they are passionate about something. But I want to hear why. Having a degree in history does not tell me why you are passionate about it, if you know what I mean. Don't view it as a form you fill out, view it as an opportunity to share some of who you are with your potential match. You don't need to describe all of your passions, just pick one or two and make me feel it.

I'm not very picky about the words or expessions people use, I'm more concerned with the overall feel of it. But you say you are a writer, it would be great if you could utilize those skills here. It can actually give you an advantage over others. But as a writer, you probably know that if you have not captured your reader's attention from the start, they are unlikely to finish reading your book. Your profile becomes stronger towards the end, but you are risking losing at least some of the audience with a weak start.

And just a few technicalities -
The "Ask my friends" answer, and that entire paragraph need to be deleted at lightening speed. I CANNOT ask your friends, I do not know them. The question-style writing sounds a little defensive and a little patronizing at the same time. Yes, of course I'd like to get to know the real person, but we are not there yet. You need invoke interest first. This is your chance to bring me closer and want to be your friend an get to know you. Tell me a funny story or something you hold dear.

I'm also not a big fan of telling people about my wit, I'd rather show it in my writing. But that's just a personal preference.

Also, words like "honesty" and "desire to have a close relationship" are kind of implied here. I'm not saying you can't use those words, but if you are going to, you need to bring your own perspective here and tell me why it is so important to you. Otherwise, just don't use them. The rest of that answer seems fine to me.

Hope some of this is of help to you. Best of luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #4  June 13,2009, 10:52pm

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

good for you for being courageous enough to post your profile.

i don't have time right now to do question by question, but my first impression is this reads like a job resume, with the job not being "boyfriend", LOL.

the best friends question should be answered with something quirky or funny, like you are afraid of spiders or secretly love the Harry Potter books.

I agree with Meli, the "wish people would notice" question needs to be answered with something more about your personality rather than a talent.

on a good note, i like this line:

wrote :
Do you like pastimes & hobbies? Me too!
it's funny. i would kill the questions in the "about me" section too.
 
  Reply With Quote
lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #5  June 13,2009, 11:36pm
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

california

Posts: 1,364

See profile

well, i feel like the next thing i'm gonna find out is that you're really really into ren faire. may this would be a good thing for you, but maybe not.

also, i'm kinda bothered by the multiple mentions of "war and country" in your profile. it comes off specious to me. one of my very best friends is in the army now, afghanistan, and my uncle flew for the RAF in WWII... i don't know. war and country is of the utmost seriousness to me. i guess i find something unavoidably thin about profiles - like they can't adequately handle such topics.
 
  Reply With Quote
Fancypantz is offline Fancypantz Post #6  June 14,2009, 5:53am
Fancypantz's Avatar

is not feeling so poetic.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2008

Posts: 166

See profile

Your profile is kind of ho-hum but it has lots of potential. I say inject your humor/wit and be more colorful and descriptive about who you are and what you want.
 
  Reply With Quote
verylibra is offline verylibra Post #7  June 14,2009, 7:05am
verylibra's Avatar

happily in love!!!

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2009

Ohio

Posts: 270

See profile

You sound like a wonderful man!!! The first impression I got though, had just a touch of sadness to it. Maybe you were lost in thought about your father at the time. My father was my hero as well so I fully understand that sentiment.

Try rewriting using Word or something you can edit with, at a time when you're feeling very upbeat. Maybe after you've had fun with your family or a female friend. Then see what you feel is best out of all the things you've written.
 
  Reply With Quote
verylibra is offline verylibra Post #8  June 14,2009, 7:07am
verylibra's Avatar

happily in love!!!

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2009

Ohio

Posts: 270

See profile

ps-I'm unsure if I would ever be brave enough to put my profile out there for everyone to pick apart...Good for you!
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  June 14,2009, 6:40pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

In this section:

"Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
Well aside from my late Dad...it would have to be the many World War II vets I knew growing up...I always marveled at their bravery and humbleness. They were and still are my heroes."

You may want to correct the things I have in red (marveled was misspelled and "There" was incorrect word usage).
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #10  June 14,2009, 6:58pm
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

You say that you are witty and humorous, but your profile is boring and repetitive. Roll up your sleeves and lighten it up. Insert some of that humor into it and don't keep mentioning the same things over and over. Makes you come across as a very limited person even though I suspect that in person you would be pretty interesting.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Erro when trying to open thread I created | Using eHarmony | close match/put on hold »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Ladies: your opinion re: dating bigger men? eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 22 June 2,2009 2:41am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:25pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0