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Fancypantz is offline Fancypantz Post #11  June 13,2009, 7:37pm
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is not feeling so poetic.

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I put in my profile my Advice screen name and a suggestion that they might want to check out the Advice site to get an idea of what I am all about. None have taken me up on the offer.
I actually meant my EH profile. The EH proper and EH Advice are two separate animals for me and never the twain shall meet. I just would feel uncomfortable with the guy I'm seeing now to be reading my posts, not to mention the less than desirable matches.

As much time and attention and heart and soul I put into my EH profile, I was once closed by a guy whom I thought was perfect for me (vegan/naturalist/poet). He closed me with the "based on statements in your profile". My delicate ego was shattered. But not everyone going to like me or what I have to say.
 
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tamoosh63 is offline tamoosh63 Post #12  June 13,2009, 8:51pm
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I've only been on EH for about 3 weeks now & have had to turn off receiving new matches a few times now. I get about 7-8 a night, & usually at least a few are of interest to me. I send out questions as well as receive them often, of course some respond with a reason to close as I do, but I don't take it personally. I just hit open communication with 4 about the same time, and they all sound very nice. I like this process actually, I think its very safe and very telling. I find the must have/can't stands (although "can't stand" to me seems a bit harsh) to be a turning point for me much of the time. If someone is can't stand someone who may not be the most organized (okay, me...), but seems more okay hangin' with a racist, for me personally that's a problem. I close them because of the other reason as well tho, I get that I would likely drive that person crazy too. I hated to close a fantastic sounding guy down today because of this actually. But I don't want to waste my time nor anyone else's time. I know what I want& appreciate a detailed profile where you do "get" someone as much as possible right off the bat. I know mine shows a lot of my personality, so someone can look at it to see if I'm a possibility for compatibility without having to wait for a 2 week process to get to the OC to get a feel for who I am.

I just ende my subscription on 2 other dating sites where I've had the misfortune of dealing with quite a few guys in a row who were great charmers. Luckily I catch on pretty quick and they misrepresented. In fact, the people who run one of the sites told me they couldn't believe my misfortune, because after having such a hard time I had to report some of what I had to deal with (koo-koo for co-co puffs!!) and 3 of the 4 were kicked off the site; one got suspended for a week. So, I feel this e-harmony process weeds out those not sincere...because it actually takes some effort and time...seems to be good for me so far and I remain optimistic. I don't think I want to come back on this advice thing tho, seems to be getting me down. The first post I read was from a man who is suspicious of women liking to travel, as if we women want someone to pick up our tab for seeing the world and nothing else. Pretty negative. So with that said, I'm going to happily respond to a few of the men I'm talking to, and just want to say to those not doing so well to try to keep a more positive outlook, because I think that in itself helps. Also, I agree with what someone else wrote, don't limit yourself so much on your requirements, bend a little. You might be letting someone wonderful out of your search. I truly wish you all to find what you're searching for, as I am hopeful for myself. :-)
 
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