HELP Was I Tricked and Made a Fool of? Duped by Phantom Profile


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readyforchange is offline readyforchange Post #1  June 11,2009, 11:32am
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This really hurts, I've been on the site and in communication with a man for 2 months. We have talked both on line and off line and are days prior to what was PLANNED to be our first meeting. AND NOW, he has disapeared. No phone calls, no e-mails and no matter how many times I make a plea for him to tell me why. Nothing.

He didn't ask me for money. He came across COMPLETLY sincere and I was sincerly falling in love with him. I could not have asked for more and yet we gave no promises.

I thought I could trust his integrity because he is in the military and didn't want to rush things. I didn't push and I was completly transparent.

I've gone through the run of something possibly happening to him and that can't be, he is literally turning his phone off.

There was no conversation that was a "turn off" our last conversation was wonderful...from any perspective. He presented as did I a genuine excitement for one another and anticipation of our first meet.

I am truly, truly at a loss for words as this is completly out of the blue and so very, very hurtful. I can't even IMAGINE meeting someone eles on line.

Was he real and does this happen often?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  June 11,2009, 12:15pm
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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Welcome to the world of internet dating.

You've been 'poofed'. Don't take it personal. It happens more often than you would think. Just close him out and move on.
 
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DontCallMe_IllCallYou is offline DontCallMe_IllCallYou Post #3  June 11,2009, 12:17pm
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Don't know if it happens often or not but that sucks. My guess is that he wasn't who he said he was to begin with. Pity the fool who plays with other's feelings like that.
 
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DontCallMe_IllCallYou is offline DontCallMe_IllCallYou Post #4  June 11,2009, 12:18pm
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tweet37 wrote :
Welcome to the world of internet dating.

You've been 'poofed'. Don't take it personal. It happens more often than you would think. Just close him out and move on.

Even after two months of communicating?

I actually wouldn't communicate that long without meeting (unless it was someone long distance and then you can still use a web cam).
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #5  June 11,2009, 1:23pm
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Usually, I'm the voice of the pessimist here. But, maybe...just maybe, he got called up in an emergency. You did say he was in the military. Many times, they will get called up and have to pretty much be ready to go asap, depending on what he does.

But for practical purposes, you shouldn't be letting yourself fall for someone who you've never met. More than likely, you are falling for a fantasy of your own making.
 
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dac830 is offline dac830 Post #6  June 11,2009, 1:39pm
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sez ... its hard to be pithy when there is no one to pith with...

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Perhaps I'm a bit more generous than most folks... I would give the guy the benefit of the doubt that something happened that had nothing to do with me......

That being said, I would chalk it up to experience and move on... it does hurt... I will sure give you that, but life is full of lessons... and what you take from it makes you that much stronger...

It's hard not to fall for the fantasy... Just don't beat yourself up over this...
Last edited by dac830; June 11,2009 at 1:42pm.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  June 11,2009, 1:41pm
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DontCallMe_IllCallYou wrote :
Don't know if it happens often or not but that sucks. My guess is that he wasn't who he said he was to begin with. Pity the fool who plays with others feelings like that.
Sorry that happened to you, you sound sincere and sweet, and you will find a real, and I mean real, gem with those qualities

Some people out there are playing around , they are usually quite charming because they have the practice. Hope you find a good, but not "too good to be true' guy
 
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readyforchange is offline readyforchange Post #8  June 11,2009, 1:57pm
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All of you are right and thank you for the term "poofed" it is the first. I didn't want to wait this long either, but he was not local. How far he was is in question. He was coming back to his main station.

I too also believe that I created the fantasy as I accepted the length of time, but I convinced myself I was trying something new. The unfortunate thing is that 2 months is a long time and well into the 2nd I had no reason to believe this would happen.

If there was an accident or an emergency, I wouldn't know. The only phone number that I have for him is a cell and he doesn't answer it. He has been both consistent with calling and with e-mails and we were making mutual plans for next week.

This has never happened to me and I've never done it to anyone else. I didn't see this coming AT ALL and it JUST happened the other day. I've replayed every letter, every conversation, all of his profile looking for what I missed or tolerated.

Why do people do this? I can't even imagine what circumstance under which I would.

What hurts the most is that we didn't even get a chance to meet.
Last edited by readyforchange; June 11,2009 at 3:00pm. Reason: Added more information for full response
 
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idealist is offline idealist Post #9  June 11,2009, 2:18pm
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I'm also sorry that happened to you . I've participated in Internet dating off and on now for almost 10 years. I dated one man for 3 years that I met online and another for 8 months. We are actually still friends. My advice to you is try to date more than one person at a time. That way, you won't get over-involved ....too much- too soon is frustrating and not healthy. Good luck.
 
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meekie is offline meekie Post #10  June 11,2009, 3:13pm
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Sorry about your experience. I had a similar situation recently, so I know where you're coming from. It really is confusing. We had great conversations that lasted for hours, and I was really excited and then- he fell off the face of the earth. No call-no explanation. I have several phone numbers for him, but he wouldn't answer any of them. Even after I left a message. I finally just left a goodbye message after about a week because the waiting and wondering if I did anything wrong was driving me crazy. I think the closure was more for me than him. So don't beat yourself up over this or try to figure it out because it's a waste of your time. Remember that you can't always control what happens to you in life, but you can control how you respond to it. Try to move on and know that he's the one who's missing out on a great person.
 
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