how long before you actually met someone


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thedarknite is offline thedarknite Post #1  June 4,2009, 1:52pm
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Okay, Ive been on eharmony for about 7 months now. I still haven't met anyone. I know it wasn't going to happen in two days, but I didn't think it would take this long to at least, meet someone. I haven't even been able to get to OC with anyone. Out of maybe 30 matches that I contacted, 5 wrote back. As I stated none went to OC. I just find it frustrating with the bogus non-membet matches and the people that never write back.

I'm just curious, how long before you actually met someone?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  June 4,2009, 3:53pm
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You're from LA and not getting many matches? Try adjusting some of your preference settings or re-doing your profile.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #3  June 4,2009, 4:33pm
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How do your pictures look? What does your profile say about you? How much success do you have in dating outside of eharmony?

Here's the thing: Most people are honest in their profiles. How honest is the issue? Do you have negative views on dating, women, etc.? Are you inexperienced at dating or relationships? If you are saying those things, or allowing those things to come through, you will experience problems.

And not to be mean, but how attractive are you, or how good is your profile picture? People on eharmony care just as much about looks as people not using internet dating.

You need to take a good look at yourself first when trying to figure out your lack of success at eharmony. You may also need to see if being in a relationship is the best thing for you. You're only going to be as successful on eharmony as you are in real life.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #4  June 4,2009, 4:42pm
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Eharmony is not as efective for some as it is for others. I personally do better through any other avenue. It varies by location & many other variables come into play as to the quantity & quality of matches.

You will get suitable matches over time & you will likely get dates. They are very few & far between for me but it will happen. The odds of me getting a match that I find attractive, lives reasonably close, & sounds good in their profile are not that good. One every couple of months comes along.

If I wrote to all of my matches, then I would likely be more active but I don't. I am selective & I also don't get that many matches to begin with.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #5  June 5,2009, 6:22am
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Lets see. I've been on EH twice. Both times, I think i met a date within 2 weeks of starting up.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  June 5,2009, 6:33am
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tweet37 wrote :
You're from LA and not getting many matches? Try adjusting some of your preference settings or re-doing your profile.
If you are in a large metropolitan area and not getting many matches you should contact Customer Care and have them look into the reason. Sometimes the program gets out of wack and just does not work correctly.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #7  June 5,2009, 7:50am
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I generate about 1 date per year from EH.

As is said on these boards, the more you open up your match settings the more potential matches you will get which will lead to a higher probability of actually meeting someone.

My experience seems about the norm for people around here:
  • About 1 in 5 to 1 in 10, will respond to a request for communications.
  • About 1 in 5 to 1 in 10 of those that respond will actually get to Open Communications.
  • Of those that get to Open Communications, about 1 in 5 to 1 in 10 actually generate a real life meeting.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  June 5,2009, 8:50am

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Hi Thedarknite,

Although the frustration is real, it might help to keep in mind that eHarmony really isn’t a “dating site”. It’s best thought of as a relationship site, and so the number of “dates” you get isn’t the goal as much as getting the right dates. There isn’t necessarily anything “wrong” with your experience or your approach. 5 out of 30 isn’t bad!

I agree with some of the things that others have already said. Contacting Customer Care can indeed turn things around. The link is: http://help-singles.eharmony.com/ Explain your experience so far and ask them for specific ideas to improve based on your settings and profile.

Another question to ask yourself is how “picky” are you? Have you gone through your Match Settings and really sifted through what your absolute requirements are and where you can open up and see if someone great comes in a category (age, ethnicity, etc.) you wouldn’t think is ideal? Do you sometimes close matches who don’t immediate captivate you? Maybe their profiles or photos don’t completely portray who they are and all they have to offer you in a relationship.

Similarly, could matches you’d be interested in be passing you by because you’re not including some helpful details on your About Me page?

Here are the links to the profile workshops we have going on within the Using eHarmony section:

What you’re most passionate about:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/sh...ad.php?t=24399 (eHarmony Profile Workshop: Question 1: "What Are You Most Passionate About?")

What you’re most thankful for:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/sh...ad.php?t=24755 (eHarmony Profile Workshop - Question 2: What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?)

Who was the most influential person in your life and why:
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/sh...ad.php?t=25135 (eHarmony Profile Workshop: Question 3: "Who has been most influential person in your life, & why?')

Soon we’ll be adding another one, so keep posted!

Good luck! I hope someone great comes your way very soon.

Sincerely,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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beautifuloregon is offline beautifuloregon Post #9  June 5,2009, 1:58pm
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Dear Dark Knight~* Perhaps you should contact the eharmony site to find out if there is something you could be doing differently. Maybe broaden your profile or post some better photos? I know they say it is best to be open minded and so I am really trying to do that. Good Luck.
 
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chibrook is offline chibrook Post #10  June 5,2009, 7:12pm
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found her guy on EH :)

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I don't know your age, but I believe I heard there are fewer young people than older people on eharmony. With me being 46, and close to Philadelphia, D.C. and Baltimore, I usually got a date within a month of coughing up the money each time (which I did several times over several years). I also initiated communication with well more than half of my matches - I gave most everyone the benefit of the doubt. So get someone to help make your profile awesome - and expand your distance as much as you dare! It was only when my current guy changed his distance settings from 60 miles to 120 miles that we were matched (we're 88 miles apart) - yeah it's a long drive but we're soooo happy at the moment!
 
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