pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #1  June 3,2009, 6:21am
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In the past whenever I've gotten to GC, it's because either the woman or I sent the first questions in a day or two after being matched and if it was I who sent them, got the responses back in a day or two. Whenever I've had to wait several days for a response, I've either not gotten a response or been closed.

I was curious if anyone has gone deeply into at least GC, and if it happens often, if you have to wait several days for a response.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  June 3,2009, 7:07am
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Stick around for a while and you'll do it every way including backwards!!!

I've had it take a day to get to Open Communications and I've had it be a week between steps.
 
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Skyking6976 is offline Skyking6976 Post #3  June 3,2009, 7:54am
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I agree with DDjr. However, it is true I have much better overall success with a match if we get through the whole process in a day. She or I RC. I get her responses and immediately send my MHCS, a little longer to answer the open questions but I pretty much have saved answers to every question I've been asked. Keep in mind...at least for me that Thursday is a big day for communication because they want a date for the weekend.

RC'd three women yesterday afternoon. If I don't hear back by bedtime tonight they'll be closed before I go to bed. Why? Cause they aren't that interested. You'll get a lot of responses to this like, oh it takes time, people are busy, people have lives but if a match views your profile and doesn't respond within a couple of hours the match is not that interested. I want a match to be giddy with excitement over the prospect of getting to know me.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  June 3,2009, 8:39am

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I can see why you’d feel concerned, Pussinboots. It’s natural to think that a match who is willing to go through the Guided Communication process quickly is definitely interested and one who is slower is more reluctant. That might be the case, but not necessarily. Anything could be happening on the other side.

The people who end up with meeting someone through eHarmony report a wide range of communication-response times. In fact, the other day I received a report from a couple who were matched 3 ½ years before they completed the Guided Communication process and finally met outside of eHarmony! They got married this weekend.

That said, you may want to wait one week, and if you still haven’t heard from your match, send a Nudge. If it’s been a week after that, you may want to close the match in order to focus your energy on matches who are currently responsive. She could always request to re-open the match later.

Good luck with everything!

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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #5  June 3,2009, 5:10pm
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DDjr, thanks for the input, but uhhh I was talking about getting into GC, not OC.

Skyking, what is RC?

Kate, I know you were trying to help, but most or all of what you wrote about was concerning getting through GC; I was writing about getting to it.
 
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Skyking6976 is offline Skyking6976 Post #6  June 4,2009, 10:51am
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RC=Request Communication
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  June 4,2009, 11:13am
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OP if I understand your question / concern it is that you receive a match and neither of you initiate Guided Communication right away nor do you close. Then some days or weeks later you send First Questions is there any chance for a successful outcome. Yes.

As an example I received a match January 28th -> send First Questions April 10th -> received response April 14 ... -> ... sent first Open Communication April 16th -> first date on April 26th.

To sum this particular situation up over two months from match to First Questions, approximately a week to get through Guided Communication and about a week in Open Communication before the first meeting.

Hope this helps.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #8  June 4,2009, 8:50pm
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Skyking, thanks, your explanation made your original answer more clear.

Gr8, no' what you answered was not exactly what I was concerned about, although it was close. Simply stated, in my personal experience, whenever I've tried to start Guided Communication, normally within a day or two of receiving a match, I have never gotten a [positive] response if a few days pass since I started the GC. If I don't hear back within a day or two for the very first communication, it's not going to happen.

I am closer to Skyking's way of thinking about closing matches, although I would wait a few days normally. As it turns out, almost all of the matches sent to me do not even bother to look at my profile. [I started another thread about this.]
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  June 5,2009, 10:33am

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Sorry for the misunderstanding, there, Pussinboots –

Thanks for clarifying it. To make sure I get it, let me reiterate the scenario as well as I can: you are talking about only if you initiate the very first communication pretty much immediately after being matched (as opposed to waiting a week or more after getting matched). And you are saying that if she doesn’t respond within a day or two of your communication request, she never will?

If I did understand correctly, that’s an interesting observation. So, did you find that if you are somewhere in the middle stages of Guided Communication that she might wait more than 2 days, but is more likely to communicate eventually?

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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #10  June 5,2009, 12:55pm
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[Sometimes I think I should start a thread about how often posters reply to something that was not written in the lead - not only mine - but it probably would not be understood! lol]

Kate, yes, that is exactly what I meant. [Of course I could get a closed message from a match within a couple of days.]

As far as BEING in the middle of GC, ANYTHING can happen - although it's usually gone for me back and forth without much delay [I'm answering your question here.], and the quicker it went, the quicker obviously I got to OC, although on occasion I have had to wait longer for replies on OC, no matter how quicly GC went.
 
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