19gogan72 is offline 19gogan72 Post #1  June 2,2009, 11:28am
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There should be a spot on profiles to specify if someone is active in their search for a possible someone special or if they only look if they find the time and have nothing better to do. How long should a person wait for an answer to questions they send? If I send you questions and you seem to not have the time to answer 5 or 3 questions based on what steps we are at, what type of date would you be going on? I mean come on. Do not send someone questions, and when they respond in a day sit and wait around for 10 - 20 - 30 days to answer back. If you do not like the answers you got from your questions, then close the match. If you find that you honestly do not have the time to sit and answer 5 simple multiple choice questions, then maybe EHarmony is not the place you should be looking for that special someone. If you walked up to someone and asked how they were doing, and they told you that they would like to talk to you, but do not have 3 to 6 minutes to do so. How long would you pursue that person, seriously. After being on EHarmony for over a year now, I can say it makes me proud to say I have never been given a nudge. I do my best to answer questions, or close matches I am not interested in, so as not to make someone else feel like they are wasting their time.
 
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trailviews is offline trailviews Post #2  June 2,2009, 11:55am
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In the latest update to my eHarmony interface, there's an option to sort your matches by "Recent Activity" (at least in the version I get).

Sadly, if I sort by Recent Activity, of the 7 new matches I've received in the past 2 says, only 2 of them show up on my first page of matches. The other 5 show up at the bottom of the last page.
 
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jlb896 is offline jlb896 Post #3  June 2,2009, 12:00pm
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You can sort by recent activity? Where's this? I don't go on eH too much so I haven't really looked around for the new options.
 
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jlb896 is offline jlb896 Post #4  June 2,2009, 12:04pm
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oh nevermind...the recent activity option was just the last email communication that was sent between the two of you, not how often that person logs into their account and actively searches.

I do like the option of marking when was the last time someone logged in like match.com. It'll give members the opportunity to determine if members are active or not and make the decision to close them out.
 
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trailviews is offline trailviews Post #5  June 2,2009, 2:12pm
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jlb896 wrote :
oh nevermind...the recent activity option was just the last email communication that was sent between the two of you, not how often that person logs into their account and actively searches.
I don't think it has anything to do with communication as none of these matches has ever communicated with me. That said, it's unclear to me what sorting by Recent Activity is actually trying to portray. Most of my "New" matches are listed roughly in the order we were matched, but for some reason a bunch of my most recent matches are at the bottom of the list.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #6  June 3,2009, 6:46am
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19:

You describe frustration that most of have faced! "Why are you paying the money if you're not going to use the service?!?!?!?!?"

Don't invest so much in any particular match. The chance of any match getting to Open Communications is small. And of those only a small percentage are going to get to an actual meeting.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  June 3,2009, 2:33pm

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Hi 19gogan72,

It is natural to not want to wait for reciprocation to your questions for too long. Getting quick replies create a sense of assurance that the other party is equally interested in getting to know you. While that might seem true, it’s not always the case on the other side. You may want to give a Nudge if you’ve waited for 7 days, and then if you wait another 7 days more, close the match. It does depend on your own comfort level and how much waiting you can tolerate. Going along with what DDjr said, you want to invest your energy where there is more potential. If you close a match, she can always request to re-open it.

Keep in mind also that the pacing of communication could change as the level of communication with a match progresses. For example, there are those members who are quick to respond in the beginning and then slow down or even “poof” as they get closer to Open Communication or meeting in person. However, the opposite is possible too – some people want to start out slowly, and then when they learn more about you, their interest level may increase, and so will the frequency of their communications.

Best of luck to you!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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