FirefighterTimWilver is offline FirefighterTimWilver Post #1  June 1,2009, 2:13pm
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Well I keep hearing women say there are no more "good men" out there but when one comes along (me) they don't even respond. What do women want these days? A Brad Pitt look-a-like with rippling muscles? Sorry but that ain't me babe...Ok I'm a skinny 5'8" good guy who desires to have a close relationship with a honest, fun woman. This is getting to be a real drag...I get all these matches and some respond others don't. Then you get to a certian point and no longer hear from those who do respond. I can understand if no one responds in so many days but 25-33 days, come on, whose kidding who? Wow, either I'm not a good "catch" or something is wrong with your system. Its kinda depressing. Maybe its just me
Tim
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  June 1,2009, 5:53pm
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Firefighter TimWilver,

Many people here understand your frustration. If you do quick scan of the threads currently active in the dating boards, you will find many similar to yours. A lot of good advice is dispensed on those threads. Take some time to review those and see if there are any testimonials similar to your situation. In the meantime, I am moving this thread to the "using eHarmony" board.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  June 1,2009, 5:56pm
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It's not just you.

It also happened to Bob from Boise a couple of times.
 
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cfibl is offline cfibl Post #4  June 2,2009, 6:53am
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FirefighterTimWilver wrote :
Well I keep hearing women say there are no more "good men" out there but when one comes along (me) they don't even respond. What do women want these days? A Brad Pitt look-a-like with rippling muscles? Sorry but that ain't me babe...Ok I'm a skinny 5'8" good guy who desires to have a close relationship with a honest, fun woman. This is getting to be a real drag...I get all these matches and some respond others don't. Then you get to a certian point and no longer hear from those who do respond. I can understand if no one responds in so many days but 25-33 days, come on, whose kidding who? Wow, either I'm not a good "catch" or something is wrong with your system. Its kinda depressing. Maybe its just me
Tim
Hey man, welcome to the club. My eH experience has been a long, disappointing, and sometimes exhausting complete and utter waste of time. I have 10 days left until my subscription is over with, and it sort of feels like I'm getting out of prison (I've never been to jail, so I really don't have anything to substantiate this statement).
 
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jlb896 is offline jlb896 Post #5  June 2,2009, 7:28am
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Hey firefighter, I think everyone here knows what you mean. It does suck that there are so many people on eH and that do not respond to communications or once you've been communicating for a while and may have even been dating in person for a period of time suddenly just stop communicating and disappear. After you've been here a while, you'll become familiar with the term "poof."
All that aside, everyone on here is looking for what you have to offer and basically want the same things...a nice, honest person who is genuine and treats us well...a nice guy and nice girl. Reading the threads, everyone wants someone nice and there are a lot of nice, genuine people on eH. I can say all of my dates have been nice guys with only one that poofed on me. Unfortunately if all it took was a collection of positive traits to get people in a successful relationship, then it'll be easier for all of us. Attraction is something that can't be controlled...either you have it or not.
You should just give it some time. Aside from being a little cowardly, these girls may just not have felt that strong attraction to you for whatever reason...and you don't want someone who isn't incredibly in to you or settling. From the sound of it, you have a lot to offer and the firefighter thing is a bonus...as with other professions along those lines (cop, military), women want to be with men that they are proud of and admire.
Just stick with it a little longer and have a positive attitude. It's a numbers and time game. Just persevere and you'll find what you're looking for although it is long and frustrating at times.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  June 2,2009, 9:42am
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The majority of your matches are likely to be non-paying members who can't respond.

Matches that start to respond and then quit may have had their subscription end during communicating with you or they may have had another match that they were more interested in and want to see where that goes before continuing communicating with you.
 
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green_eyed_lady_55 is offline green_eyed_lady_55 Post #7  June 2,2009, 5:27pm
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Don't give up the ship just yet Tim! I've been on EHarmony for almost 4 months and have yet to get to the "open communication" section . . . My theory? You just haven't been matched with "THE ONE" . . . There are still good ones out there on both sides! Keep looking.
 
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FirefighterTimWilver is offline FirefighterTimWilver Post #8  June 2,2009, 6:46pm
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Well Gr8guy...is there anyway I can filter out the non-paying members so that I do not get their profiles sent to me?
 
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MOTHER is offline MOTHER Post #9  June 2,2009, 7:30pm
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FirefighterTimWilver wrote :
Well I keep hearing women say there are no more "good men" out there but when one comes along (me) they don't even respond. What do women want these days? A Brad Pitt look-a-like with rippling muscles? Sorry but that ain't me babe...Ok I'm a skinny 5'8" good guy who desires to have a close relationship with a honest, fun woman. This is getting to be a real drag...I get all these matches and some respond others don't. Then you get to a certian point and no longer hear from those who do respond. I can understand if no one responds in so many days but 25-33 days, come on, whose kidding who? Wow, either I'm not a good "catch" or something is wrong with your system. Its kinda depressing. Maybe its just me
Tim
--------------------------------------------------------------
It's not YOU, it's the eHarmony style. If you really follow the outline, answer the questions, and, if you're lucky to read their profiles ( I always give permission for eH to make mine open) then you will have as much information about them to know if a relationship will work.
Therefore I always politely contact everyone on my list, and if I know there is no future, I politely tell them. Some of the "no contact" people you are wishing that they will respond are simply tightwads. They haven't paid their membership in eH, and I am with you wishing eH did not use me as a teaser to get them to join. But the point is, its not you they are rejecting, it's the business of the search that is not easy. This is your Mother talking.
 
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Blackadder is offline Blackadder Post #10  June 2,2009, 8:00pm
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FirefighterTimWilver wrote :
Well Gr8guy...is there anyway I can filter out the non-paying members so that I do not get their profiles sent to me?
Unfortunately no. This is their sales strategy and part of the whole marketing plan. They allow anybody to sign in and get matches in the hopes they'll see someone with whom they want to communicate. If they're serious they have to pay, then they can have communcation and eHa gets their money.

Another site I was on previously had it where people could communicate as long as one was a paid member. Unfortunately that lets in all the spammers and con artists. I do wish eHa did at least have an icon or something to indicate that the person isn't a paid member, that would end a lot of frustration and confusion amongst the masses.
 
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