How weird is this - calling at strange hours


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KimPossible is offline KimPossible Post #1  May 28,2009, 9:07pm
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I gave my cell phone number to a match after a few messages in OC (we FastTracked). He called me once at night after I was asleep so I didn't pick up. Then, he called around 2 am! It woke me up and I was really disturbed by it. The next day, he called at 10 am, but Iwas working! We are in the same time zone. And he left no voicemail. Am I in crazy town or should I give him another chance? After that, I gave him my email and told him to use that instead of calling, but he hasn't emailed me yet.

Has something like this happened to you?

Before this, I had really wanted to meet him.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 29,2009, 3:04pm
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I would let it go … for now.

For instance, for myself, I make virtually all telephone calls at work, to other workplaces. I am accustomed to the idea that a person answers or not, but the time of day is irrelevant.

It is not instinctive to me that a phone is turned on at a time during which a person wished not to be disturbed, because one turns off their phone when they don’t want to be bothered.

For some people, a phone works more like e-mail: I check it when I want to.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #3  May 29,2009, 4:34pm
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2 in the am is socially unacceptable. I think a 2am phone call sounds too much like a booty call. If you don't feel like calling back; perhaps, text the guy and ask him why he called at 2.

10am is a little to early, eager and needy.

Very strange
 
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mystic_topaz is offline mystic_topaz Post #4  May 29,2009, 6:58pm
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Possible he could be married.

This happened to me once not too long ago...although it was not 2 am...this guy calls at 8:30 am, then 1100 then 6 pm...then vanishes. Not worth my energy thinking about the whys. Id let it go.
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #5  May 29,2009, 7:54pm
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I had a match call me at 6:00 a.m. once, on his way to work! This would have been our first phone call.

Needless to say, I was still in bed, and decided not to answer it. I sent him a text, telling him I would call him later.

He was really chipper, too!
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #6  May 30,2009, 5:04am

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wow you guys are forgiving!

no way. 2am? Are you kidding me? Thats just plain stupid, lacks social skills, rude, etc. Instant write off. I'd be done with that weirdo. Sorry. Next!

You don't owe the guy anything....you don't even know him....yet he thinks it is appropriate to call at 2am...and then 10am? Maybe if he were in England...and still lacking some social and math skills.

I had a match that called me a couple of times... I never answered because it was right when I got home from work and was making dinner (around 5:30 - 6).

I was like...what the? Who calls at dinner time? Most people know that is not a good time to make introductory phone calls....and its not a time I'd be very relaxed anyway and feel like talking to a stranger. At least give me warning (Can I call you at 8?) so I can have a glass of wine ....lol.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #7  May 30,2009, 5:13am
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Set some boundaries. I always tell people...you can call up to 9 p.m. I also always (kind of) jokingly tell them that if they call later than that or indulge in drunk dialing, they'll be put on probation.

It's rude and inconsiderate, but you have a responsibility to make your boundaries and thoughts on this known. Different people keep different schedules or have different levels of social training. I'd say someone who calls at 2 a.m. probably needs more training than I'd be willing to invest : )

I have no intention of living with someone rude and inconsiderate. I figure I might as well get that out there from the start.
 
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Nature_Lover is offline Nature_Lover Post #8  May 30,2009, 5:13am
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D_Lion wrote :
I would let it go … for now.

 For instance, for myself, I make virtually all telephone calls at work, to other workplaces. I am accustomed to the idea that a person answers or not, but the time of day is irrelevant.

It is not instinctive to me that a phone is turned on at a time during which a person wished not to be disturbed, because one turns off their phone when they don’t want to be bothered.

 For some people, a phone works more like e-mail: I check it when I want to.
Calling in the middle of the night is definitely a sign of thoughtlessness at the least. I do not think that most people assume (as D_Lion states) that a person will turn their phone off if they do not want to receive calls. I know no one who turns the phone off at night--it is a means of communication in emergency (or for me my "alarm clock"). I believe that most people are aware that it is socially unacceptable to call at hours when it can be assumed that one sleeping.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  May 30,2009, 8:30am

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When_I_See_You_Smile wrote :
I had a match call me at 6:00 a.m. once, on his way to work! This would have been our first phone call.

Needless to say, I was still in bed, and decided not to answer it. I sent him a text, telling him I would call him later.

He was really chipper, too!
i would have called him back at 2 am.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #10  May 30,2009, 10:26am
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I am actually guilty of this one. I once called someone at midnight, but the dating site said she was still online, and we had been emailing quite a bit back and forth. And the emails were going great and she left me her number on the last email.

So I simply picked up the phone and called. It turns out there was lag and she had already been offline for an hour and was in bed when she answered. She was pretty upset and had an attitude about it.

I explained I thought she was still awake according to what the dating site said and I just wanted to say hi. Actually, I am glad I called because I was able to see her true colors. I didn't like her uppity, snobby attitude and I closed her out shortly after that.
 
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